The cursor curses the wait

thru the blinks it sniffs
something is amiss

it can't though surmise the cause
of the pause
but guesses the abyss

elusive shapes and shadows
a void that grows
the lost surge

the jumble in the head
the missing thread
the moribund urge.

There's so much to right
and nothing to write.

I find myself there
at night
in dreams
you there
asleep on that
****** couch
with seven cats
all around you.
Three dogs
nearby
all of you dreaming
sweetly.
i can watch
but
i can’t touch
i can smell
that familiar
scent
of soap
and Old Spice.
I can hear
you breathe
see your eyes
flickering
i can even
feel
the heat from
your body.
But
i can’t touch…
And that’s
ok, because
i’m there
by your side
i can feel
your love
for me
as i pour
my love
out to you
as you sleep
dreaming sweetly.

And
I've unbecome hinged
Came from natural
To succumb the raspy
Cry of a leaf
In the night falling
Despairingly
Against wind
Again to crash on bark
Wingless helpless
At fortune's whims;
Crying hymns not heard
Over nature's soft breeze,
Nor the whispers of the
Left behinds nor the tales of
My fellows since gone
Or a bellow not one
Of the infant bud dying,
Just mine, here: t'was not fair mine nor their
Suffering.
And I fell away
Into a sun
That melted my veins into
Dust. And I cried.
To no avail
As we all
Must.

It may be my weakness
That I write and live
Without revisions
Or blend endlessly
My painted blue
white horizons.
It may mean I am
True or careless yet
I don't care
A bit. Just trying
To live
Honorably
Speak truth
May I someday
Make all the words
Arrange in a flow
That portrays
How a man with
Heart needs no erasures
No fan brush
Or cleaners
Just a bit of spit
To wet his finger
As he composes.

Today
I'm only partially cloudy
Still the salty tears mingle
On my cheeks
On my face
As I look up
At the memory of that day
Of the jet planes trail
Carrying her homeward.
I wonder how can a broke man
Ever cross so many miles
Or ever get her back.
Its been holidays and weeks
A birthday coming up
Since the day we had to part
And still it's as poignant
As clear as it happened today.

Still I stand here
With that look in my eye
Dreaming of a clear sky
An airplane landing
Her and I rushing
Together fast
Warm nights
Here
Here
In dreamland