Something doesn’t
Feel right.
I thought there were
People here.
I can’t stop
This feeling of fear.

I walk down
The long
Deserted pathways.
“You’re never alone,”
He always says.

I feel off.
I wish there
Was a sign.
A whistle,
Or a slight cough.

I feel all alone
In this building.
I want to scream.
The noise would
Echo up
To the ceiling.

Where did they go?
I really don’t know.
They have abandoned
This place.
I need to see
A familiar face.

Just one person
Would do.
Their presence
Would help me
See it through.

One thing
Is for sure.
I am all alone.
I feel ice cold,
Like a stone.
All alone...

The pain that you feel
Demands to be felt.
Endure it,
And you will be held.

Don’t deny the heartache
That you feel deep inside.
Let yourself feel, hurt, and break.
It is real, not fake.

If you think it is too hard,
Bend gently, and ask for help.
Not doing so
Will leave you empty.

Forget the past,
And focus on the present.
Let it ring in the future
It will be bright, for sure.

The pain will always be there.
Like a friend with a care.
Hold it close before it’s gone,
And sing your lonely song.

If you let yourself
Feel the pain,
You will be able
To feel joy fully,
And your emotion won’t go in vain.

I wake up
Feeling dizzy
And unsure.
What did I do
Last night
When I saw you?

I remember music
Loud and raucous.
I saw you across the room
Dancing to the beat and tune.

I get out of bed
And notice a mark
That was left behind
By someone who was unkind.
Was it him that brought me
The tonic and gin?

I remember a moment,
Walking towards you,
Avoiding eye contact
And trying to get through.

I pour myself coffee,
And put on my glasses
So I can see.
A little sugar and milk maybe?
My mind is in a fog,
And life seems hazy.

I remember you
Meeting my gaze
And trying not to
Crack a smile.

I drink my cup,
Realizing what I drank
The night before.
It made me fall to the floor.
My head and heart were broken
When you walked to her door.

I remember when
You danced towards me,
Making the same face
You made at me when we met.

I brush my teeth,
As I try not to gag
At the thought of what
I might have done
Caught up in the fun
Made when the night was young.

I remember reaching
Out my hand to you.
You took it
Without hesitating.

I get dressed
And brush on
Lip liner and mascara,
Wondering what I will say
To the girl you left,
The date you parted from at the table.

I remember talking
To her earlier
In the afternoon,
Saying I will see her soon.

I look in the mirror
And notice a new bruise
On my neck.
It is one you made
When you knew
You had nothing to lose.

I remember promising
To myself on my drive
On the route to the party
That I wouldn’t slip...

And fall prey to your presence.

But the drink was so good.

And the music?

It made me sick.

I knew it was wrong,
But it felt so right.
All signs pointed to yes.
I let you in without a fight.
I lost myself,
As I lost my sense of sight.

What will I say
When I see you today?

Will it feel natural?
The dynamic, I mean.
Will you smile at me,
And not create a scene?

All I can do
Is blame myself
And my thoughtless actions.
It was the drink that did it,
And now nothing seems to fit.

Why no rest
For the seemingly young
Traveler?
Maybe it’s because
I’m with the best,
The most fun,
The one caller.

He isn’t the only thing
Keeping
Me awake.
It’s the ache
And the pain
I feel
Due to the rain.

The man,
My all wonderful knight,
Lays next to me.
I feel his hand
Roam against my waistband.

His movement
Is one of a quiet,
Drowsy,
Sleepy nature.

When I start drifting off
Relaxed and warm
In your grasp,
I feel something different.

A pang goes
Through my chest
Moving towards my breast.
“Oh no,” I think
As I wonder
If this might be…

A storm coming,
A steady falling shower.
One that may help that flower,
But not for another hour.

The weather
Brings about a tightness
That chews at the cuts
Made on the outside
That penetrates towards the inside.

I think to myself
Finding it slightly funny,
“Ah great, war scars
Acting up and fighting
To get some attention.”

But Mother Nature
May be causing
The insomnia…
In a different way
Saved for this day.

Again, a pain
Shoots through my stomach,
“Did I eat too much?”
“Ow! Was that touch
Harder than I thought?”

“Bang!”
The last word I felt
Before I knew it’d be
Too late.

But I know
**** straight
From this feeling
That everything’s in order.
I know there will be no disorder.

I know I’m with
The most caring,
The most compassionate,
The most kind
Boyfriend.

There is no rest
When someone
Who’s so true
Is laying with you.

Why no rest
For the seemingly young
Traveler?
Maybe it’s because
I’m with the best,
The most fun,
The one caller.

Boy, it’s been hard.
It feels like I’ve
Been treading on glass.
Help me extract
This sharp shard,
And gimme shelter.

Boy, it’s been so long,
Since I’ve been
Held by my man.
I’ve been singing
A lonely, sad song,
And I need shelter.

Boy, can’t you see,
What this life
Has done to me?
I’ve cried many tears,
And I need to break free.
Please, gimme shelter.

Boy, I need someone
Who can reach out,
And can see the hurt
That’s been done.
Someone who is kind enough
To gimme shelter.

Boy, please say
That this pain,
And discomfort
Will go away.
Please stay,
And gimme shelter.

Gimme shelter.

Years ago,
My heart was trapped.
Taken advantage of,
It was blinded by love.

I was comfortable.
Yes, I fell into a ditch
Surrounded by desire and passion
And
Burning flames of feeling needed and cared for.

But like I said,
It was comfortable.

Well, I’ve been told
One should not dwell on the past,
Even though experiences are what make you.
So, let me move on.

Years later,
My heart was discovered
By another.
He looked carefully at it, and at the damage that had been done.

This man, who was then a boy,
Decided my heart was worth something.
He gently picked it up in cupped hands,
Afraid it might fall, or run in fear of his touch.

He made a decision.
“I’m going to take a chance,” he thought.
And he said aloud, “Because this heart clearly needs healing.”
So, he took it with him.

In the care of this
Mature beyond his years,
Boy, the heart began to feel wanted again,
And it began to feel better and heal.

Little did the, now man, know that…

Six months later,
The heart and the woman it belonged to
Would have grown an unbreakable attachment to this man.
The woman was again in love.

Her heart was again trapped,
But not like it had been in the past.
It was certainly not taken advantage of,
But it was, indeed, blinded by love.

You may ask,
“What happened to the hero that picked up the fallen heart?”
And
“Where is the woman who fell in love with this man?”

Well, unfortunately,
Proximity has distanced them from each other,
But, luckily,
They have grown fonder and their love deeper for one another.

I’ll let you in on a little secret.
We don’t know what has happened
Six months after the man picked up the heart.

But

I am writing this on September 27, 2016,

As the man is speaking to me.
And never has my heart felt more
Comfortable, loved, and devoted.

Sure, a reader of this story might say
“This is so cliché!
It’s like any other love story…”
But if you knew the two people involved,
And the details of the relationship that fall through due to the sake of a poem’s content,
Then maybe, MAYBE,
You can pass a judgment on this story, this love, this unbreakable reality.

It’s time
For a change.
My feelings
Have rearranged.

I lay in bed
Feeling the heat of your body
Radiate next to me.
I wonder,
“Is this right?”
My thoughts take up the night.

It’s time
For a change.
I feel distant.
I can’t explain.

My thoughts keep running
Like a runner on a track.
I lift my head,
Grab my pack
And lighter,
And carefully get out of bed.

It’s time
For a change.
You and I
Are no longer the same.

I look at the table
And notice another empty bottle.
You downed another
When I wasn’t looking.
Now, you stink of alcohol.
I can’t say a thing.

I unlock the door,
Turning the key,
Feeling a spark of hope
Inside of me.
I walk outside
Down to where the sand hits the tide.

It’s time
For a change
I don’t want to hurt you,
But I feel estranged.

“What are you doing?”
I hear you say.
I want to respond,
To tell you how I feel,
But all I can do
Is pray.

It’s time
For a change.
I need a sign
To help me break away.

“Come back inside,”
You say in a controlling
And angry tone.
I make a decision.
I dive head first into the bay.

It’s time for a change.
As I swim further,
My heart becomes surer.

With you,
I can’t breathe,
As if I’m drowning in cold water.

You once spoke to me
Lovingly.

Now you say my name
With disgust and distaste.

It’s time
For a change.
I swim back to shore
Not knowing what’s in store.

“What were you thinking?”
You shout at me.
I brush past you,
Grab a suitcase,
And start packing.
This is the last time
Undoubtedly.

It’s time
For a change.
This upsetting routine
Isn’t at all strange.

“You’ll be back,”
You say in a quieter voice.
I look at you,
And say, “No.”

It’s time
For a change.
I’m free now,
And love has
A different name.