I don't hate her
but I don't love her.

I don't know why I stay with her.
I talk to other people, and so does she.

It feel like she wants more than I can give her

I’m scared
I don’t write to get attention
Ive written my way into peoples lives
And some nights I still look for a way
To write myself out

But this
This outlet
Empowers me more than I thought
Cheesy lines aside

Thank you to everyone
Who hurt me
Who broke me
Who left me

Cause I wouldn’t know what that top is
Without know what it was like at the bottom

I am
Okay
Most days
Turn the page
See flecks of blood
Coat the seams of this chapter
I am
Oh Kay
Which is like Okay
Except there’s a bit more
SPACE to change my mind
I am
Alright
Mostly
Kind of
Broken sometimes
But still pushing

I am
Ohkay
Cause there’s no space
But I’m not
.Okay.

We haven’t met
I hardly know you
But
I’m dragging you into my mess

Because I think I like you
Or I think I think I like you
Something like that

Or maybe I think that you think that I think I only like you because you’re someone to like who hasn’t burned me yet but I think you think I think you think we’re just friends

Man

**** this

Tomorrow is today
But my mind is still stuck
On yesterday

Back when I was 12
Before I knew about depression
Before I found the secrets
My mother was hiding in the bedroom

Back when I as 15
Before I hid a knife
Before I took some pills
Before I tied that rope

Back when I was 18
Before college
Before leaving
Before tomorrow

I’m so close to freedom
And yet I’m smothering in
My own skin

College is days away
And I can’t leave soon enough