i love it coming in
coming in deep
into the darkest places if we must
into the tender heart of pain
i love to touch the new grass of your trust
i sit here at the edge and wait
if you will let me i will water
**** and rest
beside your rippled pond
beside your mirror
within this trembling place
where trust is born
ive got the time
ive got the heart
ive got the love
please
take a chance
allow me in
i will be gentle
Sky

gathering me
adopting me
edging toward me
holding me up
inspiring me
tripping me
one day
covering me
and yes you are the bones
of this earth
friends of creation
holding up the planet

sky

may this be said
that i have lived
and wept and laughed
and birthed five souls into this world
may this be said
i love and cherish them each one
of three Grand children writing large upon their life
may this be said
i love them deep
i love them well
i write upon them deep
indelible i hope
with ink of life and tears
and most of all
of love
yes deep i do
Sky
Sky

ocean
endless horizon
energy of other rhythms
ancient
other way of reckoning
a different clock
nature world
nature cycle
drumming in the earth
a music pure and deep
and so the ebb and flow
of all my life
has tuned itself again
to sand and tides
i am content to chart the currents
of this journey
with my eye to gull and cloud
my footprints on the water's edge
so fleeting writ
a lesson for my ego
a humbling chiding nudge
that i am but a laughing grain
upon this beach of life
Sky

so let me write of joy
and brush away the darkness
webs of clinging black remorse
whispers from regretful past
and fallen lost reminders
dreams gone pale
and lifeless hopes
forgotten promises
and weeping prostrate on the sand
allow the shirring tide
to cleanse away
and leave the shimmering truth
each day i may renew if i have courage
the promise of my life
my sparkling mind
and towering spirit
my silver sharp instrument
in timeless power
given freely to us all
i must remember joy
it is in truth
the finest gift
and flows like fountains
through my deepest being
i am alive
and i am loved
all else is excess
and i am blessed to glimpse it
Sky

time rolling through
abandoned station
fallen to disuse
oaken benches
falling into dust
settling
into crouching repose
where once held rows
of bodies gathered
on their way to somewhere else
bright eyed from travel's promise
other rooms
other smiles
other embraces
i remember midnight station
February winds on bare legs
seven years old and never travelled far
not with stranger named mother
not since babyhood
abandoned in the crying crib
lonely crib
bars of shiny steel
stranger
now grandfather lies cold unmoving
once warm cheek hard and cold and waxy
no smiles for me or anyone
lying still and formal in a room of legs and shoes
she slipped me out and to the station
wearing my funeral best
my pretty shiny shoes
my lovely curls
a stranger
stole me fast away from life and love and
princesshood
to hot and livid hell
among other strangers
made me a writer
in self defence
i forgive you
you gave me New Orleans
as you gave me life
and took away the other one
Sky

remember clean
gulls pierce with cries ancient
stones journey relentless to a future
life as sand
wind strips thought
let go
wave music
wave rhythm
ebb and flow of life
marching to horizon
always motion
never still
huge logs
once trees
now silver
in salt air
polished rough
holding back shore
standing up to ocean
grasses cling
whipped by wind
I sit
sifting all
sun slides
without apology
sky to horizon
if I wait
wind combs
my hair
cleanses
my heart
sky

words escape me
to whom words are life's blood
I cannot understand cruelty
I cannot understand blithe indifference to suffering
especially of the innocent
I cannot accept it as business as usual
only in a holocaust does it have any explanation
never justified
mourned
as I do now
golden fixtures cannot shield the guilt
bloated wallets lose the tether to humanity I assume
how sad
how disgusting
I will not speak of it
it is shameful
it is embarrassing
it stalks my rest
my conscience weeps
it renders me
silent
with disdain
I am silent

you do not know me
i stand aloof
the sea of life swirls round me
i do not speak
i wish to speak its true
but all thoughts flow inward
absorbed and stored
i do not know the form
to flow them out again

from time to time i am struck
by a random object
an accusation
a missile aimed in passion
an idea
a plea
they are all as one to me
i am what i am
without intention
i stand mute
and deflect what i cannot hold
and yet
i have untold power
why?

because i stand
and do not bend
do not judge
do not wonder
do not mock
and am not swayed by prayers
i love only the sun which warms
and the rain which cleanses
tears do not move me
it is easier this way
i like the wind
music is pleasant
quiet is peaceful
life is good
sky

tell me when you need the hand
the voice of me the inner seed
tell me when your grip is weak
and you are slipping down

whisper that you need my truth
the one I bounce off other walls
the one I sing in darkened rooms
the web I weave to hold your slide
and I will hurry to your side
you know I will
as I abide
Sky

you hold my captured heart
you hold my tender self control
you hold my trembling smiles
at uttered word
I am besotted
the flower petals with one tiny finger
touched in awe
this world is new
and I am new because of you

the music that I know
I pour out to your wondering ear
My spinning skills
I weave the stories and the rhymes
and just for you
an audience of one

I realize I journeyed to
all along
and now arrived to give to you
my little precious soul
sweet baby love
discovering this world again
beside your heart
I enter in
to this my heaven
gratitude seems small
but that I am
for you
Sky

today the wind chimes stir
making wind music
this is a free service

today the small birds sang quite loudly
just before 5 am
in their practice hall
in the cedar
beneath my window
there was no charge for this wake up call

today the hummus was creamy and full of roasted garlic
small fee for my stinging tongue
happy tummy

today the ego puppets
danced upon the great stage
tiny twirling morons spouting lies
gathering their fatted treasures for counting in the dark
pathetic in their stark decay
hiding under makeup
a great price
but Im going to the ocean
the blowing wind there is free
and smells cleaner
sweet and pure
reality against the darkness
truth against absurd
Sky

you wave to me
i feel the air sing
i am sheltered from the rain
the one with flooded fields
merging river, ditch and farmlands
here upon my rock
ark upon the muddied sea
you dazzle in your green leaves
swaying overhead
you filter heaven

i watch
quiet dying embers
others gone to blankets
saying my farewells
you paint a night sky
silent weaving fingers
branches on the moonscape
waving me goodbye

i recall
frozen winter landscape
sea of white enamel
your branches etch the sky
there you stand my sentinel
my memory can cling to you
on that horizon
anchoring the seasons

sky

dog
barks at the moon
rails at injustice
mourns a lost bone
howls out loneliness
chases fast cats
uses the big bark
growls out fear
chases its tail

dog
sleeps at noon
licks its parts
dreams of stolen treats
chases slow cars
running while sleeping

dog
barks at the moon
unreachable
vastly superior
gloats with disdain
laughs at absurdity
feeling its power

dog
jumps up a sudden
eats up the moon
dog licks its chops
licks its parts
goes back to sleep
there is a lesson
for the moon
you are never too big
to get eaten

sky

i could only watch from silence
hidden by my fear
voiceless
immature
unknowing of my power
and its quiet truth
tender innocence
contained within a fragile bud
that was a lifetime ago
when i allowed your *******
when i stood mute
in farthest corner
as if i watched a play
with other actors
depositing a memory of shame
i reject that shame now
as i see so clearly my sweetest pure heart
my childish hope to know and be
ushered into mysteries
of promised woman ways
set on fire and shoved aside
i burned for far to long
i am forgiven by my woman self
i am pure in my heart
and yes i do forgive
the ignorance
in myself
and others
and thus construct my peace
this freedom

SKY

how do I weave between
showered words and pain abounding
in my small canoe

guess Ill use this paddle
this one carved by love
deep it strokes with understanding
shared loss
echoed pain
laughing through our tears
we forge a path
of healing
lined by hope
and we are not
alone
Sky

in the tiny cove there swims a tiny fish
water clear reflecting sky
lapping over small shells
steady cleansing sun-bleached driftwood
home to tiny *****
trailing over seaweed
on their way to cooler shadows
sky smiles down
finding sparkling reflect in the mica fragments
sifting through the scattered fronds
of over arching palms
day shimmers on the water
in my memory
gold and brilliant and casting my smiles
in shades of warmer blue
my outflung hand
burning sweetly in the suns fiery kiss
I was there
I dreamed
I am still there in
memory

dark the day and clouded
there are tears on the windowpane
rain on the roses
bowed heads
umbrellas on the hillside
somber my trembled heartbeat
tragedy of youth crushed like burnt embers
beneath strident boots
marching past reason
toward shadowed profit
uncaring of human cost
make no mistake
the risk is known
the outcome stark and clear
yet those who profit
do not care
do not care
that she will never rise again
never cradle her little ones
never finish her education
never walk free of addiction
so the tragedy is thousandfold
it rings out across the rainswept hillside
in peals of accusation
handless armless tongueless tears
of frustration
lets awaken

new shoes
new feet
old legs
dreaming I am running
how the wind caresses my face
hair streaming out behind
eyes tearing in the bite of wind
It is a thing I miss
running in place
dreaming in motion
travelling in Spirit

out there I feel you breathing
and as I am travelling I might not see you again
dear souls
dear feeling suffering
rejoicing souls
fellow travellers
don't stop dreaming on the page
life's blood
you are the taproot
the source of hope
I might not always understand your language
I might fall softly into cones of silence
submerged for months
in cotton wool and honey
but when it rains from time to time
I am recovered and I spring free
running to your well
I drink deeply
please I beg
do not stop filling it
It nourishes me
It is my food my drink
yes
I admit
I need you
in this dusty broken world
you are my arbour
my lush oasis
my sanity
thank you

knocking myself off the stool
wake up and smell the brain cells frying
can I write coherent thought?
or am I simply dreaming?

something slips through hourglass
grain by grain
my eyes are dim I cannot see in borrowed light
I think it is my grains of life
of time
of moments
slipping silently away
a stealth
a warning
sound alarms
remember it is power to think
and plan and dream
and not reject the wheel
at high speed
as not important to hold onto
with eyes open
stay awake
the cliff approaches

and here i put this pen to paper
my Spirit blood flows down my arm and onto the page
i do not fear being naked
as there is no hiding from this truth
yet it is carved in code
in secret language
in runes
it is humbling to place them here
at the altar of other wanderers
and i will write
as i must
these words
C Patricia Sky Bellefleur 2017

things are crusting,breaking
mud dun-colored
cracks in sheets like pottery
thrown by the world in the shape of drought
arid, dry and barren
crunching beneath my old boots
they have carried me well nigh seventy years
of wandering

I stamp down to break the honeycomb
of parched mud
some syrup of past rains
oozes through
now limned in dust
forgotten
an echo of rain

a memory rises up sharp and sudden
your face lined and creased in grief
your mouth moving
my ears frozen
silence in my dead heart
an echo
of us
C Patricia Sky Bellefleur 2017

i speak these words into the swirling void
rich throbbing energy rebounds
within my spirit sings a resonance
may i learn to treasure silence

my feet they speak to me as they contact the MotherEarth
they tell me how and where to walk upon Her
they carry me to places where i find the learning
the deeper language of the mystery
of ancient things

trees surround stand stoic in the light rain
rooted in the Earth they demonstrate a way of being
may i always listen to the silence
the one that speaks if i can only hear
the one that roars through me when i am still
the one i try to translate
C Patricia Sky Bellefleur

shirring down
rain slides whispering through the grasses
clings to every drying flower head gone to seed
bushes tightly bunched
against the stalking winter wind
buffalo herding round
circling the remains of autumn
summer lost to us all

leaves
racing for cover
freed from tree prisons
off on walkabout
seeking some adventure
bound for bonfires
or compost mountains
or gathering in communion against my garden wall
gossiping in their secret leafy language
secrets of the seasons
mysteries of the Earth
Mother tongue
wet is this silver morning
wet with life
C Patricia Sky Bellefleur