CJ Tims

CJ Tims Jul 2018

I notice many things about you.
Every time i look at you.
I notice how when you laugh,
You have the slightest dimple,
Right on your chin.
I notice that you only drink your coffee black,
Two spoons of sugar,
No more and no less.
I notice that you used to listen to my stories,
Holding onto every word
That dripped from my lips
Just for you to hear.
But the largest thing i’ve noticed
Is that you lost your ability to care.
I notice that when you’re harsh words
Shatter my heart and it drops,
Instead of looking down,
You walk right over the pieces,
And leave me be.
If you’re ready to leave,
Please tell.

CJ Tims Jul 2018

Apologies to a father

I apologize.
I’m sorry that all of your responsibilites
Are washing over you,
Pushing you into a worrysome bout of aggravation.
I’m sorry thar you don’t feel you’re parenting well,
Not keeping me satisfied 100 percent of the time
I’m sorry that i’m so much to handle,
Adding onto the unbearable weights you carry.
I’m sorry that you feel meaningless
When you’re my world,
My inseperable half.
And most importantly,
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help you.

CJ Tims Jun 2018

Depression is

Depression is
Invisible.
Depression is
Not a joke to be made to friends.
Depression is
Like being in a car
Going to fast.
Uncertain of the destination.
Depression is
Drowning in water
You could save yourself from
If you would just STAND.
Just
Stand
Up.
Depression is
Lating in the same water
Weights tied down on you.
Depression is
Being trapped in your own prison,
Everyone you love surrounding you,
They can’t reach you.
If you would just REACH OUT.
Just
Reach
Out.
Depression is
Laying in your fortress of solitude
Rotting away.
Depression is
A drop of water in a drought.
You are useless.
Depression is
Not a feeling.
In fact,
There’s no feeling at all.
Depression is
Finding out who cares the most
When you’ve shut yourself down
And they still care for you.
People
Still
Care.
I promise.

CJ Tims May 2018

Useless thoughts

Some nights i sit up and wonder
If you think about me the way i think about you.
If i race across your mind like lighting
If i make your heart skip a beat
When you hear my name.
If the butterflies in your stomach
Let you reach the clouds when you see me.
But most nights i sit up and wonder
If you even cared enough
To remember my name.

CJ Tims Apr 2018

Blind love

Because I loved you.
I dropped everyone
Because you’re the only one I saw.
you didn’t do the same.
Because I loved you.
I sacrificed my happiness
Maybe thinking you’d give it back.
You didn’t.
Because I loved you.
I let you play me
Like a deck of cards.
Because i loved you.
I let you break me.
And now here I am
Picking up the pieces
All.by.myself.
But as long as you’re happy,
Right?

CJ Tims Apr 2018

Broken friendships

Gettting a message from you
Brings back the delight
Of the memories we shared
And the pain
Of the same forgotten.

CJ Tims Apr 2018

Untitled

And you were the apple
I couldn’t help from poisoning myself with.