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Jul 2020 · 70
Lose Tomorrow Today
J M Jul 2020
The morning rise is failing to compromise
As the chains keep bones bound to sleep
Fall back to the distant place that keeps the mind in peace
And I see you walk into the scene, set the room at ease
Until it all just fades away…..

Slowly crawl to the eggshells to be made
Hard to lift the pans when the body feels like clay
And the air is cold as the frozen pines covered in white
Every breath consumed, keeps the lungs at ease
Until it all just stays the same…..

And it all comes back it feels so close to me
These shaky hands reach out to empty memories
I hear your cries pushing needles through my eyes
Blinding all that I can see, fakes the mind at ease
Until it all just shakes away…..

Make way to outside where the engine runs on idle
Let the wheel and peddle control the pavement
Don’t know which direction or where to go
As the sun shines bright, puts the road at ease
Until it all just stays away…..

Pull into the gravel driveway park next to the port
Walk through the rainwater into the icy  shore
Stare across to all the bright lights where the fire burns
As I start to slip away, broken promises at ease
Until it all walks away…..

Step into the bourbon filled room amongst friends
Glasses go around praising good times and amends
There is no regrets to be heard when we smile
Everything feels ok, the future is at ease
Until it all slips away…..
Until I lose tomorrow today…..
Dec 2018 · 96
Your Ghost.....
J M Dec 2018
Its delightful all the ways we repent
Follow all our dreams sleep away the shame
These mornings start with hazy blanks
As forgiving eyes cast shadows on our days

Walk the sidewalks calmly
Slip into the same uncertainty
Through the background stable
Shell out the pieces inside

Your ghost….it haunts this
Your ghost….it haunts this
And the leaves still fall
And the snow still stands
Still I find the places to keep this past in my hands

It’s a mouthful of hypocritical ways
Face the moments where it was ok
These late nights end with dizzy stares
Fixture of what was all the evenings spent here

Watch the lanes fall away
Slip into the same routine
Through the alleyways I play
Shell out the pieces that I break

Your ghost….it haunts this
Your ghost….it haunts this
And the leaves still fall
And the snow still stands
Still I find all the ways to make you leave my hands
Mar 2018 · 159
Its a shame
J M Mar 2018
Stare slowly at the wall
Find a moment where my mind can stall
Strange pictures and alcohol
Looking at a broken remote left in a pause
It’s a shame
It’s a shame
You should have listened to all the words you said
Sweat pants and dresses start making sense
A dark theater back row for two
Years later you still didn’t gain a clue
If only you have seen the movie scene
You could have been her killing queen
It’s a shame
It’s a **** shame
You are left with your own blame

Not my best but writing has been difficult these days
Dec 2017 · 232
These Bones
J M Dec 2017
Watch it play and turn away
Battle-scars and airport bars
Find the places that never show their shame
Swallow the pieces of all those broken days

And I wish these bones
Would carry further than roads I laid
And I feel my days
Are blank spaces left to stray

Stare through lights and blank stares
Tonic glasses and late night hazards
Never comprehended being in between
Watch away while you play the next scene

And I wish these bones
Would find their former self
And I feel my days
Are losing ground, rotting on a shelf

Shell of all that we used to be
Fighting for the feelings I cannot see
Foster old flames and blank promises
They always sang the truthful choruses

And I wish these bones
Would lift themselves from the chair
And I feel my days
Are left for dust and wear
Dec 2017 · 410
Mountain Village
J M Dec 2017
There was a place I used to go
As a kid where no one would know
It kept me calm and collected
Behind the fence, In the apartment complex
I sat next to a stream as it flowed past
This was my wonderland
I yearn to go back there and stand
Feel the air, and let go of all care
I never told anyone about my escape
It was meant for safekeeping
Not for others to be seeking
I want to go back, let it soothe what I lack
Its not that far from where I lay
But age has taken time and care
It wont feel the same as it used to bare
Accept what was woven, you were right Holden
Dec 2017 · 492
Polka Dotted Dress
J M Dec 2017
It’s the burdens of these hallways and casual screams
They sing of the results that were never meant to me
Cant control the distance when the time is always off
I will follow my convictions in the barroom left unlocked
Keeping away the promises made through all our talk
Bring about the sighs through unpleasant empty stares
I bet you could make honey from shattered glass
Lay all their eyes down as they make a pass

If I had 57’ chevy would you ride with me?
Let me pick you up and be what you want me to be.
Drive away to false expectations that never last
If I had a 57’ chevy could we forget our past?

Shoulder decisions to make others believe
Have my shoes shined bright trim the lawn real clean
Take a lonely picture with yourself and desperation
Save all the innocence for a fathers blessing
Tolls have laid themselves through nights that never end
Depend on others broken tabs to keep the lights on
I bet you could make charcoal into diamond eyes
Lay them on a table for others to walk bye

If I had 57’ chevy would you ride with me?
Let me pick you up and be what you want me to be.
Drive us down those roads of all the days that have gone past
If I had a 57’ chevy could I find a way to make it last

You could be a pin up in a polka dotted dress
Squander how both are lives remain an empty distant mess
I could chauffeur you steadily through different outside towns
And forget about missed autumn nights as all the leaves turn brown

If I had 57’ chevy would you ride with me?
Let me pick you up and be what you want me to be.
Drive away to false expectations that never last
If I had a 57’ chevy could we forget our past?
We have lost desire from open regrets
If I had a 57’ chevy would you just forget
Nov 2017 · 186
Bloody Mary
J M Nov 2017
She walks in with an armistice and my body is just too sore
Not ready for love or useless arguments dragged across the floor
Im used to chasing rabbits and bad habits
Now I sit and wonder why I’m glued to this chair
Hard to find a way to figure out to care
She wants anything to lay next to her pitiful deceit
As I keep close all the secrets that you keep
She will argue until I bend
But I wont let her forget her skeletons

I want to wake up every morning with a cup
Of a ****** mary and the paper folded up
Read about the yesterdays and the scores
Think of all the years I chose to ignore

She loses her self in all the years of regret and wasted years
Never ready to commit always fall on deaf ears
Im not used to casual and detachable
Found a way to get through all the harder times
Sell my soul for another sip of sunshine
She wants to find something inside
I will make sure that the words you say will abide
She will argue until I close my eyes
But I will make sure she sleeps with all her lies

I want towake up every morning with a cup
Of a ****** mary and the paper burning up
Read about the yesterdays and what wont last
Think of all the days that have gone past
Nov 2017 · 255
Cardboard Places
J M Nov 2017
Talk of all how fast these weeks will go unkept
And all the words we said wont be left to forget
Hard to think these miles are so true
Scream silently and smile on cue
But she will paint faces in cardboard places
And I walk amongst the ever setting sunset
And she cries for angels in all the wrong spaces
As I crawl to make a point for my regrets
Walk the dock and slip to places no one sees
Keep behind a piece of what is supposed to be
Bend a page of all we used to keep
Hard to give up chances on fake southern dreams
But she will paint faces in cardboard places
As I work amongst the ever living dead
And her smile is contagious, ditzy and painless
Giving hope to all the focus up ahead
We slip into the vast uncertainty
Walk amongst the dead to wait and see
Speak against the grain and catch me in the rye
Run around and save us from our lies
Nov 2017 · 498
park the f*****g car
J M Nov 2017
Take all that is left inside
Make a place to control the design
It only hurts when you want it to
Keep the answers in the walls and hide
Its sensible and lost its taste
Contracting labors and more burdens
While humming sounds of broken tapes
It was so simple then
Casual and cool with all our friends
It was so easy then
Twist our way through all the insinuations
As locked doors hide the tears
Lose the questions of flaccid danger
Take a chance on humble aspirations
Provoking thoughtful comical gimmicks
As this darkness finds peace in the remains
Finding a place to question martyrs
Send away the places all the secrets stay
It was so simple then
Casual and cool with all our friends
It was so easy then
Taking all that we can give
And all the lies make up for every sin
Hollowed hallways hold the sounds
Let the anger shake the doubt
It was so simple then
Casual and cool with all our friends
But it wasn’t easy then
Masking all the words we never said
Oct 2017 · 257
Wexford
J M Oct 2017
We danced through firewater
Years gone past
Sat through the arguments
That would always last
But the words always fell down to blank paper
I would be ashamed
I would take the blame
This tiny mansion helps us believe the notion
There could be a way through all of this commotion
Save the silence as we drink down the potion
I would be ashamed
I would take the blame
I will wear all your masks
just promise you’ll go away
Promise you find another lonely place to stay
Oct 2017 · 175
That Vintage Red
J M Oct 2017
Its relentless
The way the tension must be broken
Through these words
Hard to know
That splitting even
Will now never work
It was selfish and regrettable
Yet I thought
That things could change
Unknowing of the inevitable
Blind to the truth
Raging in my head
Never was there a chance
It was always meant to be
An untouched polaroid picture
Lost in a unmarked box
That will never be obtained
Its difficult to acknowledge
After searching for the blame
As words have gone unspoken
Years have made a change
We can lavish in our castles
On the thrones of our successes
That make it seem
Like it was a dream
That never really happened
It wasn’t make believe
But was it real?
The seasons haven’t tarnished
The way it has all kept
It’s the silent burden of baggage
And all that is left unsaid
Its accepting that I can never drink
Another glass of that vintage red
And all that has been left
Is whiskey burning in my head
Oct 2017 · 594
Fall Mawkish
J M Oct 2017
So how can this make anything easier
Under country night sky’s brightly lit
Digital fire burns through the skin
And all that’s left is hollow bones, empty soul
Found a way to casually converse this illusion
Hoping for a place to make it through the night
Dance away, fall into a rustic hurricane
Never able to proceed, much obliged company
Shell of ourselves as I ache for this bar room fix
Its easy when the clouds have broken from the wind
These meager minds keep sleep a luxury
How do we move through these chemical days?
Keep a promise, keep the shadows at bay
Wash the courtyard, clean the masquerade
As these trucks pull up for blue collar hands
Those drinks need pouring, those heads need care
Shell of ourselves as I ache for this bar room fix
Its easy when the clouds have broken from the wind
Its easy when the distance between settles in
And when the dreary mornings speak uncertainty
Ready fuels and coffee made to play
All for not, the sun still shines away
Speculation masks an exchange for another day
Oct 2017 · 174
Harlem to Harwich
J M Oct 2017
This apartment should have had an empty room
Not that I should complain I don’t pay the rent
You were supposed to leave your living room
She asks “how can we make it here?”
I guess I cant answer that
I guess I cant answer anything
I suggest we leave and find another way
Just drive aimlessly and with a purpose
There is no where else for us to go
The car turns into my fathers driveway and we say our goodnights
This wasn’t supposed to end like this
Think I will light a smoke before I rest my head
Make my way to the deck and think about what I should have said
Wonder why I come home
Wonder why I leave so many things left unsaid
Not ready to close my eyes but not sure if I need another beer
So I decide to crack a cold one and think about all the years
That I never said a word and never let go of my fear
I know I am too late but I want this too be true
But Monday I will fly out of sight
Just a phone call but a memory slighted by your touch
And its hard to make a story when I’m a catastrophe
While you have too many dreams
Its best for me to lay down
Best for me to hear your words
She asks “how can we make it here?”
I ask myself how I have even had a chance to keep it real
Oct 2017 · 331
Lost on Duncannon
J M Oct 2017
Hard to watch as eyes fall short of ears
Failure to sink and burden fears
All out of truth and empty sheets
Lost all my faith in bathroom talk
Find all the burdens left to walk

Call another friend and make your case
Lost the relevance with mistakes
Clean the dishes and watch it fall
Always better for tomorrows stall

And I sit and stare at night
Follow mute dreams till I break of fright
Drive until the veins break away from eyes
Lost a purpose to win casual fights

Call another friend and make your case
Store away the drama to another place
Bleach the bathroom and watch it burn
Always better for everyone to learn

You shined bright when morning light shone in
Night sky’s ruined makeup and plastic sins
I miss the city and the late night line of reasons
I miss the peaceful days I could sleep with completion

— The End —