I once consider this my greatest asset, a gift if I may. This infamous propellant called hardships once created the great man I am today. It gifted me with great integrity. But like the law of gravity, we all must come down.
   I do admit that I did dance with the devil. I sought his prescription for success. I overdosed on his drugs; I became high on their applause, their cheers, their praises… I was a god to them, they couldn’t fathom how I was able to overcome my darken past.
I was on top… I saw the stars, the planets, the universe countless scientists desire to explore; I saw everything. And that became my downfall
I saw my past… I relived it. It becomes so surreal… it lured me, I lured myself because I saw my younger self-cry and beg for mercy.
I became scared. So I ran as fast I could. I stopped and turned around… I saw him once again, the beast himself.

This once great gift I would cherish dearly in my heart is deteriorating my mind, my heart, my morals, my gift, my smile.
I took his drug now I am paying the price:
I can shed tears no longer. I can’t feel love. I can’t speak for myself… In this lonesome room is only me, myself, and I.

Now I am slowly waiting for my hero to rescue me from this dark abyss many can’t escape from.

We tremble and fear.
He rumbles and breaks.
The dust will soon sweep.
A child must sleep!

It crumbles to ****;
Their screeches, their weeps.
Shiver forge sleep.
Death must be near.

Soothing once more.
The ashes won’t fall.
Hope will come forth.
Our hearts to them all.

I am writing this essay in behalf of the broken and the ostracized.

I am writing because I seem to be unable to project my deepest sorrows with those that deem themselves my friends.

I fear that I will not make it far into my future as I sense a malicious presence approaching me and threatening my life, my morals, my dignity, my aspirations, and my dreams.

I am in danger of falling, I am in danger of losing myself… I am in danger because suicide roams my ill mind...

Unfortunately, this will be the last letter to you. I just cannot keep doing this to myself.
          I cannot continue my life with you lurking in the shadows. You
          remind me of all the
          heinous actions we committed. You remind me that we are
          Sinners . And as sinners we will perish.
But I believe there’s more to our life purpose than succumbing to disparity. I promise I will save you but I must say Goodbye.

I was truly foolish to believe in a future in which you and I can co-exist. You have become a parasite that torments my mind, soul, and emotions.
Every moment I ponder our past, I am forced down into the lonesome abyss that we escaped decades ago.
I deeply apologize.
           I will always CHERISH our PAST memories.
And for that same reason, I must bid you farewell.

Thank you. I am who I am today because of the agony you forcibly endured.
Neglect, disparity, poverty, violence … that is our past. That’s what defines us as mere creatures.
For that simple reason, I must forget it all.

If only you would be willing to open your heart to the world. It is truly beautiful. It is not what we believed. Do you remember our childish dream? We wanted to escape it all… we wanted to fly off into the universe and descend into a more promising planet

I must forget about you… my younger self . To reach my destination. I care for both of us, truly. However, for you to possibly be at peace, you must rest indefinitely. It is my turn to endure the weight of the world. If only I existed at that precise moment… I could have become the hero you’ve always wanted.

Unfortunately, your grief has not dissipated. It keeps hurting me. If only you were able to interact with our current friends, they would change your perception on the world. Farewell my past self. I hope one day we can finally unite as one happy person.

Sincerely,
You, 12 years into the future.