Unti the end is dark enough,
The mind will not quit reckoning.
I've heard proclaimed the life above,
Where righteous mate and angels sing.
Of course the getting there is tough,
My shoulders don't suggest a wing.
Perhaps you have some other plan,
Some unrepentant, feckless clan.

Unless you're something more than wise,
This pale excuse is wholly mine.
I don't mind thinking otherwise,
I wish I could at desperate times.
Two lines complete the son his fate.
Not what you're thinking, I can wait.

Culled from
         The Feeling Good Handbook

1.  Anxiety, worry, or fear
2.  Feeling things around you are strange
3.  Feeling detached from your body
4.  Unexpected panic attacks
5.  Apprehension, a sense of doom.
6.  Feeling tense, uptight or on edge
7.  Difficulty concentrating
8.  Racing thoughts, having your mind jump
9.  Frightening fantasies, daydreams
10. Feeling that you're losing control
11. Fears of cracking up or crazy
12. Fears of passing out or fainting
13. Fears of heart attack or dying
14. Concerns about looking foolish
15. Fear of being isolated
16. Criticism, disapproval
17. Fears about something terrible
18. Racing or pounding of the heart
19. Pain, pressure, tightness in the chest
20. Tingling or numbness in the toes
21. A discomfort in the stomach
22. Constipation, diarrhea
23. Restlessness and/or jumpiness
24. Tension, tightness in the muscles
25. A sweating not brought on by heat
26. A lump or tightness in the throat
27. Trembling or shaking legs or hands
28. Rubbery and /or "jelly" legs
29. Feeling dizzy or off balance
30. Choking or difficulty breathing
31. Headaches, pains in the neck or back
32. Discomforting hot flashes, chills
33. Feelin easily exhausted

       All of the above, accounted

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

I admit I am a sinner
I admit I have made mistakes
I will probably make mistakes again in the future
Blot out My iniquities from Your mind and sight
My walk has not always been straight and narrow
My heart and life are weary
I need Your help
Shadows circle Me like sharks at feeding time
I am sorely vexed by issues of My own making
And issues delivered by others
Uncertainty clouds the future
No one stands beside Me
The wolf at the door had puppies

I have tried to do right
Tried to help others
The heavy weight of survival is pressing up against Me
Where do I turn
What happens next
I feel alone
I feel homeless
I feel penniless
I feel abandoned by You
You have come to the aid of others so why am I not on that list
You have come to My aid before with mega blessings
Does it have to be this way now

And yet
I deeply bow to what You do
What you have already done
What you have planned ahead

Since there is no way I could know the next moment
the future
I have no choice
You told me to put my trust in Elohim
I have
You told me to wait on the LORD
I have
You told me that I would experience beyond anything I could ever know
I have not

Your Word cannot return void

What is it I have not done to receive Your blessings
What is it I need to do right now to have your blessings shower me
Tell me what to do

Is the feather a sign
Is the good word from the Oracle a sign
Can you see my tears
Can you feel my heart
Can you see my housing threat
Can you see my transportation issues
Can you accept my worshiping you
Can you feel my longings
Yeshua said you know all of this and more before I ask
Honor His Words
Can you just step it up a bit

I sit here in silence
Daring to wonder what is next
I am dust destined to be worm food
My Spirit will return to You
There is no good reason for me to suffer
Yes I do honestly believe You do not want Me to suffer
Come Holy Spirit
Come Holy Spirit
Come right now
Come right now
You are the only power

ELOHIM
You are the only power to trust
Bless me right
Work your miracles right now
Send Your ministering Angels to surround Me
Send Your ministering Angels to lift Me
To protect Me
To direct Me how to solve the survival issues
To show Your love for Me
To show My love for You
Though You loved Me first
Help Me
Help Me
Help Me

Your love dispels insanity,
When all the world's an angry ghost,
Invading sacred liberty,
Collecting bones along the coast,
And carving out the lungs of trees,
While more have less and some get most.
What can't be bought has value still.
Without your love, the world be ill.

Was I mistaken all this time,
Alive where nothing else could be?
Romantic lines that sometimes rhyme,
That almost tell me what I see,
A waste of paper, pen and ink,
Your love is more than I can think.

Be the gentle ripples
guiding the tidal waves
of change

We should have harrowed paradise,
To slake the disenfranchised souls.
The powers say it's otherwise,
There's not enough for all of those.
My thoughts are weak and compromised,
An eremetic son sunk low,
Whose mind and body lust to rise
Against the everlasting foe.

Creation and equality,
Long separated by the sword,
Don't trickle very equally,
While politicians scheme and hoard,
Then toast the weekly homily,
Beside the chairmen of the board.