*** is a wonderful thing.....
      Whether it's a quickie or a fling
     Releasing endorphins that make you feel high
     Then after the event,
      It makes you wonder..
    Why did I go to bed with that guy?....

" are you there babe"?
         "Do you wanna play?"
            I'm having some me time
            Oh do GO AWAY!!
             " hi gorgeous..."
                " you look fit and hot"!
                   unlike you're photo
                       "Babe"
                   As youre definitely not!...

I am overwhelmed with emotion
                       Like a bottle of coke...
                       Waiting to be shaken
                       It pours out of me
                       Like an eruption
                       I have no self control
                       I'm shaking...

I'm fed up being treated like *****!
Why do men think it's their god given right?
Saying "do you wanna go out on a date?"
Oh... and they never turn up , or just very late...
Which is something I really do hate
" you're gorgeous" " you're scrummy"
" you're **** -and yummy"
It pours out their mouths
Like treacle or honey
" you're really special"
" l wanna know you better"
Which is " boys" code for...
" get yer kit off luv"
" let's get down and ***** together"...

The oldest married a gay
The youngest married a ****
The middle one lived with a ******
So let's leave it at that!
The first thought it was forever
The second heartache and pain
The middle ones partner ***** her niece
Now life's not the same...
Like the elephant in the room
No one daring to give it a thought
The oldest would like to ****** him
The youngest never gives him a thought
The middle one spends all his money now
And his properties that she's bought!

What a helluva birthday...
       I'm in a gay club?
       Brian was standing there
       Looking so smug..
        Standing beside them
        As close as I can...
        OH.....please god won't you make me a man?
       The dance floor is packed..
        The floor show arrives...
        In the shape of a drag act.
         I whisper to Steve
           "Don't you dare leave me here"?
            Then the lights go dim...
              And there's a huge cheer...
              Someone asks the dj
                  To play a request..
       "Take the ribbons from you're hair please darling"
               Someone jests
        I try not to cry and give it my best
            I glance at my watch
            It's a quarter to ten
              As the lights dim
             *** I'm the only woman
             In a club full of men!!..

" Are you going out tonight"?
He stares and takes another bite.
The meal is over .. the kids in bed.
Still a lot of things unsaid..
I'm frightened to ask..
And he's frightened to say.. But ...
I think we both know that he is gay...
Whilst out on my birthday..
And over the meal.
He said" l'm gay"
So how did I feel?
I've met a great guy and we're engaged!"
I threw a wobbly and went into a rage..
Life can be funny and sometimes so sad..
My husbands a queen but he's also their dad!!

A stolen identity
         And a broken heart
           You ******* up my life
           So where shall I start?
           Extracting information
              Bit by bit,
           But who you really are
              Doesn't seem to fit...
             " you are my queen"
               And" l love you babe,
            The words in my mind
         That won't seem to fade...
       Flowers and chocolates
      Delivered to my door
     " l love you.." l love you"
           Over and over you said.
" you're the one I adore"
But you never phoned
And we never met
But now l know the truth
     I just want to forget....

We messaged on a dating site...
The usual" hey babe, how are you?"
" how's it going ***?"
" u alright"?
Until you said" I'm married"
" oh and btw my names harry".
"Do you wanna play"?
Harry what?
" harry the unfaithful"?" Harry the seducer?"" Harry the ****???"
I don't go out with marrieds... " you're taken"
I'm not!!....

You're not mine
                             I stole you for awhile
                            You belong to someone else
                                  I say with a smile.
                                   You consume my body
                                And invade my mind
                                    Each time we are together
                                    There's not enough time.
                                Like an emotional roller coaster
                                I'm up then I'm down
                          I can't imagine life without you around.
                                     My week begins with you
                                      And I'm switched on
                                    Until Wednesday night
                                  We kiss... then you're gone...
                                      Until next week
                                   When the angst starts again.
                              With uncontrollable feelings
                               Of love lust and pain
                              And so life lurches on...
                           In an emotional haze..
                          A quick brush of the hand...
                           And a stolen gaze...
                          Something's going to end one day...

" age is all in the mind darling!"
              " and you're as young as you feel"
                 Ok... joke over...
                   Now get real!!
                 You've got you're health and vanity
            Nice hair , eyes and mouth..
             Which is probably just as well..
             Cos the body's going south!
            Sadly.. the force of gravity
             And the ravages of time..
           Makes joe bloggs.. more appealing
           After that third glass of wine..
            If I ever win the lottery...
           I'll have a nip and tuck...
        But if a young guy pulled me...
          I'd settle for a ****...

He got out of his car
               And shook his head
          And I could tell by the look on his face...
              She was dead.
         He'd just popped back
        To answer the phone
     When he'd received the sad news
        All alone in their home.
         She was only 47yrs that's no age to die
               With a pained expression
                  He started to cry....
             I felt a strange numbness come over me.
          And went into the kitchen to make some tea.
         " the others will have to be told I said"
                    " oh god" I sobbed
                    " I've run out of bread"!....

The times running out
             And nothing as yet!?
         A shoe box is probably all I'll get..
            A delightful Dez Rez is how it's blurbed
            At £550per cal, now don't be absurd.  
          I scan the papers for the property slot
           This one says, " quant"? But it's not!
          One with a bath, would be kinda nice?"
       Something manageable, along with the price!
        So when next you see me...
        Selling the big issue on the street!
          ( spare a thought)
                I get an eat and you get a read!
              As I'm bundled of to court!.

" do we have to go mum"?
              John looked up and said
               " no I suppose not" l said
                After all... now he's dead?
                The cremations on Thursday...
                 At the end of next week
                  Jess was silent
                   Too upset to speak
                     " he didn't get aids mum"?
                        You both look up and say
                           " no" l replied
                       " he didn't get that
                         Just because he was gay"
                       " he died from a stroke
                          I'm told it was quick"
                          " let's have tea now
                             I feel kinda sick"
                         " I hate him, I hate him"!
                               Jess starts to cry....
                          " oh why did he have to go and die"!!...

A father at you're age?
                  Is all rather sad...
                   I feel concerned for the baby
                  And contempt for the dad...
                   Still...when she's lost her figure
                   And she's up half the night..
                   You'll be losing you're temper..
                          And picking a fight..
                          I wonder who's eyes
                         Will be blackened tonight?
                              You'll never change
                                 You just live a lie...
                              You haven't the guts
                           To look life in the eye!
                     " mr cardboard cut out man"
                            That's you're nickname
                       Who's whole existence
                          Is one long acting game....

As we boarded the train
                           You, with a six pack in you're hand.
                           I knew that very minute
                         That our" wedding night was ******!
                           To Dover for our honeymoon.
                           Oh what a great delight!
                            My sister said " don't marry him"!
                             And now I know she's right!
                        " just got married to day mate"( he shouted)
                          The porter gave a glare...
                          " you're not allowed to smoke sir"
                             " it's a non smoking here"
                              As he gave an angry stare...
                              You look across the table
                            With that gormless grin
                          This wasn't quite the way
                      I thought our marriage would begin.!!

The man in the moon
                       With his cheesy smile
                       Lights up the dark night
                       And gives hope for a while
                        
                       I look from my window
                        At the stars
                       And through my telescope
                          You give me a wink
                        

                       What's it like living up there?
                        Which makes me think...
                           Are you lonely
                        All on you're own?
                       With no one to care for you
                       All alone in you're home..
                        
                      Wouldn't you like a mrs moon
                          To care for you?
                        And feed you cheese with a spoon!...

I was soooo... excited
                      I couldn't breathe..
                  I've booked  a boudoir shoot
                  Can you believe..!!!
                 I've waxed and buffed
                 Within an inch of my life!
        So much cheaper than going under the knife....
                A photo to keep...
                Of me at my peak!
         The appointment is nearing
       It's the end of the week!
    
        
        I arrive on the day
        Less makeup and bra...
         Already for the professionals
        To make me a ⭐️

            A star for a day
           All pampered and spoilt...

        In my ****** and heels
   I'm positioned on a couch..
    Then over a chair
    I hover.. then crouch..
   Laid out on a bed
   In my **** red set
   All pouting and pearls
I purr...provocatively
In my makeup and curls
It's all so surreal
With bubbly in hand...
The photographer says...
" look at me.. now smile"
" now give me you're sultry pout"
My basques really pinching
I wanted to shout!
When the photos are taken
And the viewing booked
When I shall see
The finished photos
Of the " divine. Amelie"...

The poverty trap...
                             That's where I'm at...
                        You can find it at the turning...
                            At the end of the track..
                          It's just past hopeless
                          Then right for despair...
                          Down a dark, dark, road
                          Called " nobody cares"
                             Where they chuck out the *******
                              And any old crap
                          Co's the system don't care
                                 And that's a fact!

I walk the streets....
              Come rain or shine,
            Giving men a bit of my time..
            A bit of my time...
           Means blow jobs and ***,
         As I stand and scan the streets at night..
        Looking for a punter
        Wondering who'll be next,
        It's a game of Russian roulette..
       Because you never know...
       If he'll pull a gun out...
       And it's time for you to go.
       Violence and drugs are all part of the scene...
        Slapping on the makeup
        Feeling unclean..
        Being called  a ****
        A ******* or worse...
        Knowing full well
        You will end up in a hearse.

Hello my names Wayne, I didn't catch youres"?
When all he wants is a ***** against the wall
Seedy surroundings, and poor decor
" oh god.. why did I come? This is all such a bore"
The music is playing a " rave from the grave"
I'm asked for a dance ( he could at least have shaved)..
He lurches round the dance floor
All fingers and thumbs...
  Oh god! now he's got his hand on my ***!
" you look like you're 38 he leeringly says...
And that remark had nothing to do with my age.
With my elegant black dress and string of pearls
" let's not sit down yet " he said
" just one more turn?"
"Hey Can l come back for coffee?"
He said with a wink
" you must be joking "
I said with a smile.
" l'm afraid that isn't really my style"
" what you doing down here then"
He said in a strop..
" and you didn't quite hear me"
" read my lips... *******!!!!!

" l've got a cold!"
         "And I feel old"
  I don't feel attractive vibrant and bright..
I just wanna cocoa at the end of the night..
Don't want rampant *** or dress up in a basque!
Just want someone to ask...
" hey how you feeling today?"
Is that too much to ask?
Instead I am deluged with messages from men
Saying" hello ****" can I message you again?
" wanna see a photo of me?"
" no I don't wanna see you  you're ****!"
" l'll settle for a cuppa, hot water bottle and some vick?"
More inviting
Than someone saying ...
" hello honey you sure look exciting..
" in a onesy and no makeup"
It sure ain't that enticing!!!

" I've just had *** with an unavailable man"
    Whose life is very busy right now....
      But he'll text me when he can...
        If I had a fiver
       Each time I've heard that line
      It would stop me from wasting
              My valuable time!
          You're expected to slot into their busy life
               Feed their alter ego
                 Endulge their every vice
                 Playing second fiddle
               Means you never get to win
              When all you'd really like
              Is a little time with him
               You're feelings and emotions
                 Don't feature in his life...
                  He just wants  some excitement
                   In his boring little life...
                    Maybe I should just call time
                     Or maybe ring up his wife?....

                   In hi

If wasting time were a crime
                They should do time...
         Endless, mindless messages
            That go on from 9 til 5
             Then 6 til 10
          Until you tell them when?
               YES! I will meet you for a drink!
          " how about Saturday?"
             " what do you think?"
              " yeah.. saturdays great!"
               Well I guess that's a date!
               Saturday comes, and Saturday goes...
              Cos. When I turned up
              You didn't show??
                TIME WASTER!!!!

Tom, tom, you can do no wrong...
                               Young and fit...
                          With a fine tuned wit!!
                               Up for some fun?
                                 Well so am I
                        Let's make hay while the sun shines!!...

In the beginning, it was text, text, text.
" oh I can't wait to see you next."
But when the *** is over...
And alls said and done..
You're antennae is out...
Moving on to the next one.
Men's view on *** is a curious thing?
"Thanks for the meal honey.. "
" I'll give you a ring".
A day goes by..
Then another two...
All the while there not thinking of you..
There in a place called " a mans brain"
Don't ask me how it works?
I'd go insane... there such BERKS!
They decompartmentalise everything they do..
And that... unfortunately honey.. includes you too...
Their brain switches off after they've had *** with you...
Where it goes? nobody knows?
But no longer focuses on you...
It shouts ..." I wanna sleep"
" l have a meeting later this week"
" l must get the car cleaned"
" watch the footie on the box"
" that girl in the office, now she's a little fox"!
Whilst you lay there in the afterglow
All tingly and sated...
He's thinking about the girl last week he dated!
I think we can say *** is very over rated!!...

" I'm not a fluffy bunny type?"
         I commented to a girlfriend
           Over coffee one day
           " what you"?
        She replied in fits of laughter
        " hell no" she said
           " you're a foxy lady"!..

Oh valentine...
        Won't thou be mine?...
       Ain't life a swine!...
     Everyone's got one
      So where's mine?
      It's such a simple gesture
       And a lovely thought
       A heart shaped card
      That you're lover has bought
     Alas! I was forgotten... again..
      Discarded on the scrap heap of life
      Nobody's lover
      Not even someone's wife?...
       So where was l
       When the bouquets were dished out?
        A single rose would be nice
  But it ain't gonna happen baby
     And it wasn't meant to be
           So won't someone please....
           Send a valentines card to me?...