So much happiness.
Is this true or its temporary.
Until when.
For a while or forever.

I pray that its forever.
Forever happiness with you.
We may have struggle but still us.
Coz You and I are forever.

My worries may fade away.
Our loves is much more bigger with fear.
The security I feel with you.

Change my workplace surrounding .
I want to go away and start a new one.
I want to leave the place where I met you.
I want to go where no one else will remind me of you.

I want to stop being stagnant.
I want to try new work.
I want to explore.
I want to walk away with your memory.

I feel scared and wanted to hide.
I'm not strong enough to face it.
I didnt do anything.

I see you again
I feel pain and happy.
I become so foolish again.

I let myself to be with you again.
I let you consume me again.

I become numb being with you again.
The numbness eat me.
I feel so lost.
I feel nothing.
I just wanted to be with you.

After being together in a short time.
We part ways.
The love and hurt I feel make me feel so numb.
You let me go again.

Hoping to see you again.

The time Im not yet In love.
I think how they cannot think straight with love
Now that I've experience it
I realize love can really changes you.

Love can make you realize how love can you give with a person
I thought I have a straight mind with love
But I was wrong I am really a crazy one when it comes to love.

Im still hurt.
Im still crying inside.
I feel so weak.
Heartbreak eat me.

BYe is the last word I hear with you.
You never look at me.

People see me I'm happy as I am.
But little did they know I'm broken.
I always hiding my feeling
And when no one can see me I cry a lot.
I want to shout my feeling but I cant.

People that surround me makes me scare.
I want to hide.
They should not notice me.
I want to be nothing.

I want to cry and cry.

Its been 6 Months.
I'm still into you.
Hearing  & seeing your name still give pain in my heart.

I'm still stock with you.
I'm still waiting for you.
I'm still a foolish.

It pained me a lot.
I smile a lot but sorrow is hiding.
I want to burst out and scream my pain.
I want to confide my hurt feeling and cry a lot.
I want to be hug.

Its make me curious, if you still remember me.
If you miss me.
If you really forget me.
If I am really nothing to you.
Thinking those thinks makes me cry.
My feeling become so sad.

Why I keep holding on to you.

Im scared.
Sorrow can eat you alive.
Pain can destroy you.

Im scared how can I handle myself.
] want to be happy as I am.
I want to be serious as I am.

But Im scared.
Judgement, criticism,
I feel so small.

Im scared with my surrounding.
Everything.

Be positive enough.
Smile as you want.
Be happy always.
Cry as you want.
Be firm.
Be strong
Have courage.
Believe in your self
Have confidence.
Hope.
Your brave enough.
Be more understanding.
Forgive.
Love yourself.

Haunt by your memories.
I should stop.
I dont have news with you.

Keep thinking of you.
Remembering our stories.
Reminiscing sweet moment of us.

A short time but full of impact.

All of a sudden you've change and its destroy me.
Remembering my hurtful moment with you makes me cry.
Those days I feel your fooling at me.
Those days you've changes,
It makes me feel so stress and so less about myself.
Ive been good with you but why you hurt me.

I thought I was strong, but I was not.
I still keep looking and hoping that your coming back to me.
I was such a big fool.
How could I trust you If someday my dreams come true.
That you will come back to me.

You are my first love.
But I was not your first love nor your last love.
I think I was nothing else with you.

You are my first of all.
Love and Hurt.
But hurt is more big of all.

I hide my hurt with a smile.
Smile that full of sorrow.
Eyes that keep looking happy.
Hiding the tears that overflowing in my soul.

What is more hurtful.
The person will say his not into you anymore.
The person makes you feel you are nothing.

I love you.
I'm not always saying I love you.
But I always love you.

But I asking myself,
What, when, where, why and how.
You changed.
What is your reason.
When did it start.
Where did it you realize.
Why you do this to me.
How can you do that to me.
You hurt me big time.

I really love you.
I was really hurt.
But there is so many why in my head.

I want to forget you.
I want to stop thinking of you.
But like a water you keep flowing in my mind.
Its a rewind series of event.

I cant stop thinking those things.
Short memory but have impact to me.
A big impact in my being.

I keep looking back.
Looking back how we start.
Looking back how you become sweet.
Looking back how you become persistent.
Looking back how you court me.
Looking back how you constantly communicate at me.
Looking back how you make me fall in love with your antics.

Looking back all the memories we have.
Looking back with the short encounter we have.
But those minimal encounter, I treasure it.

I treasure every encounter I have with you.
I treasure it with all my heart.
I keep looking back at you.

Those keep looking back it hurts my feeling.
You make me feel I'm not worthy.
I keep asking myself why you did not let me stay with you.
Am I not really important to you.

I keep looking back.

I feel so broken.
I feel so numb.
I feel the pain in my mind and heart.
I feel the tension in my stomach.

I feel so broken.
You broke up with no closure.

I broke up with you.
You lie.
You cheat.
You're hiding with me.
You're avoiding me.

I hate you so much.
I feel so regretful
I want to forget you.
I want to erase you.

I can't say I miss you.
Because you will say I'm obsessed with you.
I can't say my whim to you.
Because you will say you're not here.
I can't say I need you.
Because you will say I'm needy.

You become the person that I cannot tell what I really want.
And I feel I become a person to you that I'm not comfortable to be with.
And it makes me sad.
We become really different with each other.
I'm not the person that you need anymore.
And your not the person I need anymore.

You are full of lies.
I don't know who really you are.

I fall in love thats why Im hurt
I fall in love thats why I give everything.
I fall in love thats why I become fool.

I fall in love for the first time.
I fall in love but its hurt.
I fall in love with a wrong one.
I fall in love with a two faced person.

You tricked me.
You used me.
You hurt me.
You destroy me.

You have a two faced.
I let you tricked me.
I let you used me.
I let you hurt me.
I let you destroy me.

I did not know you will change.
I did not know I'm just an option when you're bored.
I'm a fool that fall in love with you.

I see you.
All the sorrow I feel has gone.
All the doubt I feel has gone.
All the bad things I feel toward you has gone.

But when you left again.
I feel the sadness that eats me.
I feel the doubt that makes me crazy
I feel that you dont really care.

Seeing you makes me confused more.
Seeing you makes me fool.
Seeing you makes me numb.
Seeing you really distract me.
Seeing you makes me want to be with you again.

Even though you don't need me anymore.
I am nothing anymore to you.

You are my hidden desire.
Your the one I want.
Not the particular body parts of your body.
I want the whole you.

I realize now that if Im not the one will communicate you.
You will not going to communicate me.
Its hurt the attachment I have for you.
I need to overcome it.
I need to accept that you really have impact in my life.
I need to accept that there will be a person will make you realize what you really want.
I need to accept that I need to be open with possibilities.
I need to accept that Im not really important to you.
I need to accept that your not really mine and Im not into you.
I need to accept that you just make me experience to love and to get hurt.
I need to accept that you just teach me to see the real me when Im inlove.
I still need to thank you.
And I thank you for all in all.

I told you what I feel.
You ask me why I being like that.
You gave me reason to feel it.
But you just see how bad I am.
You cant accept I am not perfect.
I have feelings.
I open it to you but you refuse me.
Its break my heart.
You cant accept the way I am.
I told you in the first place that I am selfish and bad.
I thought you will understand me.
I just need your explanation and your assurances
Is that hard to do?
I just need your time and attention.
I cant figure out how busy you are.
Why I been stock with the feeling of hurt.
I can smile but when no one sees I cry.
I feel so down that make me cry a lot.
Please stop confusing your feeling to me.
Please say  if you dont love me anymore.

I do understand now, I should step aside away from you.
Im just new to you.
You make me feel so insecure about myself.
Im not important specially to you.
Your so bad.
Your so cold, colder than me.
Stiffer than me.
I know now that you can tolerate and neglect me.
I am sorry for me.

I dont know if its true love.
I feel so uncertain with your love.
The way you open what you want.
You want to score to me.

I will be foolish
If I let you.
Cause I know you will let me go.
You will go away.

I will be alone with the memory we shared.
Coz I let you to destroy myself.
With the uncertain love.
Love that consume me.

But I dont know how to stop you.
Stop the connection I have with you.
Coz I dont know how to start again.
If I let you go.

The attachment I have with you.
How will I break it.
Can you tell me.
So I can easily accept and forget.

Accept that you dont really love.
Forget that it all a ploy of you.

I'm happy that I meet you and I know you.
I'm happy that you choose me.
I'm happy that you care for me.
I'm happy that you look for me.
I'm happy that you miss me.
I'm happy that you love me.

I'm happy that you become part of my life.
I'm happy that even though I miss you,
you make me smile every time I hear your voice.
I feel contented as long as I know you are ok.

I see your intention.
Intention that hurt my feeling.
Intention that only makes you happy.
Intention that you will only benefit.
Intention that will eat me to sorrow.
Intention that I will really regret If I do.
Intention that scares me.
Intention that your not really into to me.
Intention that you will break me.
Intention that you will go away.
Intention you will say good bye.
Intention that you will mark me.
Intention that I will never forget.
Intention I will fall really Hard.
Intention that I cant go on.
Intention that I will really look into you.
Coz your intention that I already give it all to you.
Your intention that will really destroy me.

I love you for making me feel special.
I love you for all the effort you've done to me.
I love you for all the sweet moments you give to me.
I love you for all in all.

Goodbye for hurting me.
Goodbye for making me insecure and so less.
Goodbye for all in all.