In a past life reading, I was told I was a Queen.
I must have beheaded you,
I was a killing machine.
What crime you committed,
I have no memory of.

The laughs on me now, that we know for sure
I'm cursed with wicked thoughts of you,
There seems to be no cure
Your voice holds a power
A curse made just for me
I would do anything just to be free
Jump off a high mountain
Sail across the sea
To escape

I have a "Stark" heart
Yes
That's true.
It only got stark when I thought about you
It was dark before
I don't deny
But stark and empty is a result of your lies.
Games people play is part of life
One shouldn't play armed with a knife.
Your touch is divine
Blood mixed with fine wine
I'm beginning to see
This is not our time.
The price is to high
May I pay with my soul,
Or is it to old?
You liked it one day, for a short while.
You seemed happy
when you saw me smile.
So put a notch on your belt
You win again
You've taught one more girl
Not to trust men

Here you are calling again
Or is it your ghost,
commanding the wind?
Let me down easy.
I don't want to boil over
and burn your skin.
I dream of pleasing you
then wake up again
Knowing it's hopeless
A battle I won't win,
You bring out your big gun
To shoot me down again.
You pull the trigger but no one scores.
Perhaps you need a new weapon of choice?
To control the me that has no voice.
It was just the one time I lost my way.
I got lost in your maze.
Now I'm stuck there it seems
No way out
Except in my dreams

I waited 40 ****** years to see him again
Sounds crazy I know but he's that kind of man
After 40 years and one day
I answered his call
With no second thoughts
to the end of it all
We danced like no time had passed
Again and again
Who cares if it lasts?
A little present from the past for me
All to prove I was free, free, free

After 40 years and two days passed I went back again
There were heads on his wall
They appeared to be deer but they looked like us all
Still I had no fear
I knew exactly what I was doing here

And even sulfur starts to smell like love
If your high enough
If you lose enough blood

I knew trouble
We had met before
What I didn't know is that trouble keeps score
I thought I was winning,
It was my destiny
An optical illusion made just for me
All to prove
I was never
Free, Free, Free

Look at me
Look at you
I'm hot and funny
With a 150 IQ
Why am I the one crying here?
When logic dictates
It should be you
Words are weapons
But so is silence
You wield it well
A lifelong skill
Is it me then,
That you are trying to ****?
Take your best shot
Tiny little man
I will dance on your grave
Alone or with another
Why should I care?
Your silence has no power here

Did you poison my brain
Was it your wish I go insane
All along your desire
While my skin burned
Lit on fire
While my lips bleed
Never ending need
To hear your voice
To catch your smile
There's not a net big enough to capture you

I'm starting to hate you now
I can only hope it sticks
The little cracks in my heart
are asking for a fix.
If it last a little longer
I might meet me again.
I might remember how to laugh.
I might remember how to win.
I might remember I'm not chained
To your changing standards of cool
I might remember how to behave
How to not be such a fool
The prospect is delightful
The thought is so sublime
The venom made me insightful
But now I've done my time
I want to throw my crystal ball
Against a wall
See it shatter
What does it matter?
Hate didn't last after all.

Make up your mind you wicked man
Yes, No or Maybe
I just need to understand
Or put me in storage until you decide
Like one of your cars you rarely drive
The thrill of the chase, a cliche that's so true
I think it was written especially for you
That hard man face you show to the world
Is starting to crumble from beating up girls
When you run away again
Like you seem to do
Will I still be waiting?
Just for you?
The odds were in your favor
and your a gambling man
But no one can win at every hand
Look over your shoulder and ******* a kiss
I might still be there
But don't bet on it

You take my confidence like it doesn't belong to me
It means nothing to you but you take it anyway
I can talk to anyone
Anytime, Anywhere
But not to you
You steal all the air
Other men just like me so much
All the while you run from my touch
You play with my soul
Like a child with a toy
Don't forget me I always say
And I will see that you don't...
The old fashioned way
Be afraid my friend
We really don't know what I'm likely to do
All the guns in the world won't protect you

If I run away
for just a day
Would that give you what you crave?

The endless need to hunt your prey...
To conquer, to rule, to have your way
Is that the only way you thrive
Constant state of overdrive?

The thrill of the chase...
Your own special grace.
I sink in it like a bath
But it won't save you from my wrath
It won't take you there
You will not be spared

I will mark you for revenge
The needle will singe
This tattoo won't fade
From my blood it is made.

What would I say if I could talk to you all the time?
Would I tell you everything that's on my mind?
Would I tell you I miss you so, so much?
Would I tell you my skin screams out for your touch?
Would I tell you I read your old notes every day?
I think not, I wouldn't want to ruin our game.
Does he or doesn't she
It's always the same.
You need nerves of steel to play to win
You can't give up
You can't give in
It's almost stopped being fun at all
Waiting and watching for someone to fall

Her yoga pants cover up her feet
She stretches out and breathes deep.
She's a grown woman in child's pose
She sits up straight when she's not walking tall
She can't see anything out in the real world,
Even with her third eye

Sad goodbyes
Is this the last one?
A crystal ball is what I need
To see which one of us
Is going to bleed
Fire in my heart
When we're apart
And when we are not
Your breath is hot
On my neck
Like a dragon

Why can't I sleep
I cry out
To all that would hear
I have everything a girl could want
The world has made that clear
Nightmares, visions and bad men
All keep me company
They visit every single night
Uninvited
I've tried for years to throw them out
That they hear me there's no doubt
But why would they leave their unhappy home?
Just to roam in another's dreams
They are staying right here
They won't leave

When the man's wife died
All Hell broke lose
The sun didn't rise
The leaves didn't fall
There was no moon at night
The world was in chaos, there was no one left to call
The world lived in darkness
A year and more
No plants would grow
They could not thrive
With no light, nothing can survive.
The man cried bitter tears both day and night
He once was a warrior
But he was losing this fight
The sun and the moon
They knew his name
They talked about him and absolved him of blame.
The sun went first and shined again
The moon came at night and smiled on him.
The rivers flowed and the little plants grew
The birds sang a song they wrote just for him
The man still cried but there were fewer tears
The sun and moon watched over him for the rest of his years.

Beware, beware of April the 12th!
It's bad for your health
It sits on a shelf
Calendar pages forgotten by most
Ignored by many
Just another day
Like so many
The day don't mean a thing
Except to a girl who twirled her ring
On an April 12th many years ago
She danced and she sang and chased after the future
This was the race she was going to win
Come Hell or high water this was sink or swim.
Calendar pages went by and by and for a while she thought she was winning,
She could touch the sky.
But Spring can be cruel, it will play you a fool.
You can drown in a drizzle or in the sea.
It makes no difference to April, it makes no difference to me.
Beware the Ides' of March and the Spring that comes right after.
They leave scars for all to see.
You win nothing
But they shall never purchase salt again.
As long as you both shall live.

Do you think the people makers one day said "Let's put one of their thoughts in The other one's head?"
One of them will smooth out the rough
from the other having to act so tough
And we will give them little girls but switch them around
One of them blond and the other one brown.
Do you think the people makers liked a good fairy tale?
Snow White and Rose Red for the modern age
With a soundtrack by Elton John of course.
With the Brown Dirt Cowboy riding in on his horse.
And one still calls the other all the time.
You can make a lot of calls two years down the road.
Still no answer but one doesn't give up.
Both are made of much stronger stuff.
Magnets and steel and magnolia blooms.
A  bit of Lavender Oil to freshen the room.
I curse the people makers every single day
then apologize and thank them for sending her my way.
Two years apart is a lot of pain
A lot of tears
Endless rain
But I can take it, a little tough remains.
I wouldn't have missed it for anything you could name.

I'm hidden away like ****
Is it shame or
Is it scorn?
That keeps me under lock and key.
We go out and face the doom.
Our only witness is the moon.
Is this all we ever get,
Hiding in the open air,
as if we have the years to spare?
Swallowing tears until we might drown
Both to tired to face the truth,
Pretending we didn't waste our youth.
Doesn't erase the lines on our face
Or the lies in our hearts
Sadness when we part
Madness when we share a space
Where  exactly is our place?