shadows lurking within shadows.

breezes blowing against winds.

tears falling painlessly into the soul.

memories and pains and fears that couldn't be erased by time nor washed away by rain.

sunken hearts we couldn't rescue from blackened waters.

caloused heals that couldn't stop themselves from walking and so kept bleeding.

suns that chased leaves from the comfort of their suspension to the
uncertainty of the ground underneath.

in this world we paint no pictures we would wish to see again;
today's love shall be tomorrow's regret and today's tears we shall weep them again
tomorrow.
we could wish to be children again,
constantly charmed by the least of things but who would wish to be so
helpless so susceptible?

the demons that chase us do not despair-
though today we outrun them
when dawn breaks again they are there
and so we spend all our days running and yearning for stronger limbs and
stronger hearts.

it isn't enough to try and lose ourselves behind the windows of fast moving cars for in that way we see
life as what it isn't-

Death does not move in blurred lines.

it strikes within the light and always triumphs.
and we bury our dead in bitterness and tears;
teeth clenched in anger,
but we know such are blows we cannot return,
like we cannot hold the voices of those that leave us in our hands
to listen when their faces start to fade.

She whispered in my ears all her broken dreams
And I stood there, afraid. I did not move.
She held me and she tore her fingers on my broken edges and as I tried to run away she
Pulled me closer and watched the blood in some sort of fascination.
Nothing scared her.

So I stood there watching the blood fall in red soundless drops and mix with her tears
By her feet. She was angry at her tears.
Because women don’t cry.
She wouldn’t let me free myself from her grip and I said I did not want her to bleed any more
But she would have none of it.
She wants a man that will wipe her tears, she said-
Tears are the blood of the unseen wounds
And such are the wounds we need most protection from.

So I stood there, holding her. I tried not to move.
I hoped that standing still would keep her hands from bleeding more but she ran her hands all over my jagged edges. She said that it was a metaphor. That it should mean something.
But she kept crying and I fought myself off of her. I fetched her water to clean her wounds but she laughed and pushed it aside.
Play some music instead, she said.
The wounds I must clean are unseen-
Only angels can fight demons
Only beauty can erase the ugly
And only light can ***** out the darkness.

So I played her some music.

And then I stood there watching her move her head along to that
Lala Salama song
Like certain worlds had been hidden in its words.
She danced until the song was over and still she danced to the silence
Her eyes closed and her head always shaking. Always.

When she was done she asked me what I had seen
and I told her that I had seen her dance and that I had seen
her close her eyes and that I had seen her sing along silently.

She jumped at me. She was angry.
These are not the things you were supposed to see, she said.
These are not the words you were supposed to say.
And she opened the door and walked out.

Now I listen to that song.
Maybe I shall hear what it is I was supposed to be listening for.