i have to search my heart time and time again
for the love i once had for you

amidst the constant drowning of fear, hatred, and deafening words
the silence of life swallows every ounce of love i could conjure

i dig deeper until my hands are numb
thinking that if i found a piece of the memories that were
joyous, patient, and true
that maybe it will bring me back to you

the you i once loved
but searching for that now
i can see no more
the empty canvas where love should be painted
leaves me nothing anymore

To question you is to question gravity
you are the force in the very center of me

my thoughts, my anger, my bliss
is in every moment we create and miss

i pick up a bow, and shoot towards your heart
but every which way you dodge it

for you are not moving away from my ****
you are giving me obstacles
to experience life as it is

it is difficult and rough
and as we travel together

we must be alone to enjoy company alass
we must feel hatred and pain to enjoy paradise

for our love is a journey of lost and found
dodging
suffering
traveling
wondering
experiencing
just being

I sit here
and see those all those lost eyes.
lonely souls passing by.
There is no connection
just an infection
that gives us tension.
We are lost in the complexity
of this multi-media society
too much variety.
what will save us?
bring us back to the hush
For we need to stop..
smell the fresh air
see the leaves everywhere
because nothing can compare
to the hush
of slow
****** nature.

She knew she could
so she did
she made a life for herself

she didn't need anyones help
wondering from a broken past
promising herself
that mistakes they've made
she won't repeat

she's stable
on two feet
knowing where she's headed
a youth with possibilities
with potential and lust
strength forward
lessons behind

you spend forever searching for who you should be
that uphill climb to self awareness and understanding
once you hit the top of that mountain
it is nothing
nothing like you imagined yourself to be
you still feel empty
unsure if you took the wrong climb
too late to look down now
at what was, and those
what could have beens are too far away
after feeling that emptiness there is always a path forward
maybe its a flat plateau
maybe another mountain
but there is no dead end
keep going
you will find your meaning
and you will know when
because it will be beautiful.

Its hard to look to the future when every
second, minute, hour crawls by

Of moments apart my aching makes me forget
about how i feel about you

But when i am with you i feel
the bottomless love we encompass

So tell me now where to go from here
where the love and aching are above this atmosphere

Tell me that our love won't go astray
for when i will see you will be a moment soon
someday

i swear i love you
in the shadows

im lonely here without you
left here to wallow

its your choice not mine
you love me but you left me

i swear i love you
but sometimes that's not enough

i dont know how else to show you
maybe im not ready for love

so strong

for so long

just maybe not