im at peace now
knowing that what lies behind me
and what lies ahead of me
are out of my control

i pace forward with the vision of my dreams
nothing holding me back
nothing tearing at the seams

you see, the stitching of my life
is jagged
but its effective, and strong

if there is a tiny tear
il come back and patch it up

such is life, sewing up our problems
only to see them come undone again

the truth is knowing how to mend

but we must also know how to create
to create a new journey
away from our struggles
to anew

enjoying the moments
forgetting but learning from past adventures
and creating a new view

i look up at the desperate sky
there is an opening in the clouds
a hope for all the hearts left broken
a noise for words left unspoken

a time to bring what is lost to be found
a time to turn what is wrong around
lift up the hurt, broken and oppressed
tell the truth to all the lies you have professed

the shadows are not welcome here
a place where the sunshine gleams
and where love can appear
and drive away all the hate, depression, ,madness, and fear

I lay here in this lonely hour
with nothing but an empty memory
and a crowded heart

memories we once had
but i cant piece together
to much has fallen apart

you left me without a second thought
did you even love me

i question who i was as a person
was i not enough
was there something i didn't do?
a lust i didnt attend to?

a relationship without communication is bound to die
because you become immune to the consent of silence that lingers
in the unprotected heart

the shadows of the empty days only linger away
until i realize why you left
me alone

without you
what do i do?

wait for you?
i have been
what more do you expect me to do

as i sit here and wait
for you
to get your **** straight

im tired of wallowing in my own sorrow
not knowing
whether il see you today
or tomorrow

days pass and i wonder
where you are
what you even are

i don't even remember
you and your ways
our love in my mind
is fading away

i want to remember
but i cant

waiting for you
is driving me crazy
im patiently furious
for you my love

are you coming
are you going

what do you want?

It seems like forever since
i have found true happiness.

It feels like a spark within
me has vanished.

I am not what i used to be

a once carefree, crazy-spirited
girl

Turned into an uncontrollable mess
of binging, purging, hunger, anxiety, unworthiness
and anger

i feel like i am never good enough
or ever good at anything

everybody looks down on me
                        i am nothing in their eyes.

you touch my cheek
leaving a spark on my skin
and suddenly everything matters

and i start to think that one such touch
can make all of our troubles worth it

a touch so soft
a kiss so light
a hug so tight

overshadows our arguments
it takes away the pain

for when im feeling lost
or buried in the doubt of US

you give me that sweet, soft, but powerful embrace
and in that moment i know im in the right place.

i don't want to wake up
i am trapped in a dream
that brings me to places
better than reality ever seems

Cuz when i am awake i try
and my days get too dry
and my heart begins to cry
and my problems just multiply

for sleep.. just makes me new
and in my dreams are the only way
i get to see you.