Dreaming of a bullet taking up resident in my brain
Not out of desperation
Simple curiosity leading me on
A wondering force pushing me towards an end
For the simple craving of knowing

Strung up on adderall
****** out to normality
led on by conformity
Their path filled in with chaff
Rigged to persuade
Monotony fills their days
Pushed down in worthless ways
fed on a lethal dose of caustic fluorescent

It all started on that cold day
You started all of this with just a hi
We talked all day
An at the end of that  i asked you if i could say hey
We talked every single minute
Then we met to go see a film on that day
When i first saw you there my heart beat an beat
The smile you gave me was matched with shyness an glee
Now we walked an talked
An after the movie when we had to go our ways
We hugged an smiled an i started to feel a love that hadnt been there for awhile
Then you kissed me an made everything seem free
But the very next day you came to say i spent that entire day with you in my arms
Then after you said your past an i knew that you were my best
I asked you to be mine an you said yes
Then we spent our days in bliss
Jupiter was our greatest bless it was but a jest but you made me feel like no one less
But then i did wrong i made myself seem like a hog
I covered my love in ****** acts i made myself a piece of trash
I shouldve let my love go to you an show that i was always true
I had eyes only for you
Then one night as i felt us part
I heard you say we had to stay away
So i curled in my bed we had shared
An i cried an let loose my despair
But you were still there so i didnt let lose or forget my care
An then one day you called me back an said you loved me back
But as i sat with you on my lap i saw that you were leaving me for that sack
I grew cold an sold my soul
But you kept me close while i missed you the most
Until one day you came an cut me loose you said you were gone an past an i was just your last
But then the worst did come you turned agianst me an said these things an acted like you enjoyed when you left me
You said i was a cheat an a fake
But in truth i was yours alone
now as i miss you still you say you hate me
i wonder an ponder why this can be
An i fear i may never know for your still all i feel
I miss you my dear an i cant stop this fear
But i need to stop all of these tears
So im here just waiting to feel free
An once again be just me

You lie an connive
You make me sick while u spend all your time with that other guy
Im a fool an i do deserve to die
But ill make you pay ill tear you down where you stand
How dare you betray me how dare you ******* deface me
Your nothing but a worthless ***** tearing me apart without asking for more
I hate what youve done an who you have become ill cut my wrists an drown you in my blood
Ill wipe that smile off your face with a handful of distaste i regret it all i was in a worthless fog
I will make you regret playing me an making me weak im sick of you an what youve put me through fall down die in the ground im sick of this pain
That leaves me drained ill watch you convulse while i walk away my back forever turned on you

I sit with the blade to my skin waiting for it to begin
Letting it slide across my hide
It stirs an urge deep inside
Making crave the last time
I feel my heart beat pumping an jumping
waiting for the ripping an slashing
Will the blood pour like it did before
will it swirl an twirl to the floor
It sits with need wanting to be freed
The blood runs thick from those ravaged slits
Making the sight sting an bite
The river of red dancing in my head

I hurt inside so i wear my scars with pride i give in to the pain of it all to escape my broken bones an lacerated arms i give in to the broken an the desolate i turn my pain into the physical i give my heart for all i need is that one spark but no let me die an cry let the hurt burn my heart let the skin bleed an break let the fears keep me awake let all of this flow into my arm an give this to the dark lets settle my heart without its spark its just one more meaningless part

I stumble along this trodden path
The cost of this life turns us aghast
Silver tongued devils sell us our thoughts
The righteous mob throws us into the stocks
Caught in a hale of denial
The world shudders along in style