you say you don't want me if
the only time you can have me
is a quarter past twelve at the top
of an empty parking garage.
and I understand.
I wouldn't want a boy
who's mind is half a thousand miles away,
searching for answers at the hands of
the same people who left him
with far too many questions
either.

am I coughing because
I have smoked far too much or
is it because I am trying to
rid my lungs of whatever
you there is
left in me

I'm learning to love
My words not only
As I am breaking
But also as I am
Finally blooming

If you have to switch between
Loving her and loving yourself
If you cannot do both at once
If she isn't obsessed with the way
You trace you own skin
With the gentlest of hands
Just as she adores the touch
Of your fingers on her cheek
Is it really the kind of love
You want to feel?

Just because I'm a man
Does not mean I don't possess
Every ounce of beauty that the
Flowers growing at my feet do.
Just because I'm a wave ever
growing
changing
flowing
Does not mean I am not a mountain
Strong and steady
Demanding the attention I know that
I deserve
Not because I am a man
But because I am human

I'm slowly learning the art
Of being selfish with myself
And not other people

there is nothing beautiful about the way
I smell a little too much
like stale cigarettes and day old coffee
and not enough like the flowers
I am trying to grow in those
barren parts of me that I
refuse to let them see