I’m running out of words to explain how much I’m fond of you but I hope you see it deep within my eyes, in the way I look at you like I’m dying just to walk towards you, to hear you talk, to watch you laugh and feel like I’m standing right next to ‘everything I’ve ever asked for’ in a human form. I know that I don’t look at anybody else the way I look at you. I’m needy and I’m selfish, I get crazy jealous over what’s mine, I argue quiet a lot and I complicate things out of my control but I hope you don’t get tired of me, because then I’d be fed up with myself too. I love you, even when I’m ****** as hell, at my worst and best I don’t love you less. I can’t seem to be able to write much about you, I get goosebumps just by the thought of you because you, you cannot be real. You’re a crashing wave and I don’t mind drowning in you.

I miss you
I long for you
I would **** to have you by my side

Words like these give you the pleasure of hearing them, don’t they? But little do you know, these words come out from sorrow, despair. Delusion, perhaps.
It could be months before I get you back, it could be years… it could be… never. I may never fall back into your arms again. I might as well stay as I am; broken beyond repair.

I knew I’d lose you I just didn’t have the slightest clue it would be so soon, so… What’s the word? Effortless?
I guess so.
I began losing you that day, little at a time, piece after piece. Fights followed by cold behavior. I started going days without hearing from you, and I began wondering, how on earth do you manage to stay away from the person you love the most and not feel a thing? And then it hit me that this question worked its best on me, maybe it all meant a little something, to me. Maybe, just maybe, you were my favorite thing in the world but I was the least worthy of your time and attention. God knows how much I loath one-sided affection.

My dearest friend, my ever lasting love. You were more than just words. Your beauty was beyond my understanding. I remember laying in bed, wondering, what have I done, that was so purely good, to be blessed with a soul like yours?
You understood me with every word I said, you memorized all of my concepts. And I let you slip away. And I will always hate both of us for letting go of something irreplaceable.

You're no longer here and it all seems pointless cause I write as much as I can but no ink nor thought, no word nor letter has the power to bring you back to me.

I miss you. It sounds pleasing at first, but if you read between those three words, you’ll find what I call… Grief.

Straightforward;
An adjective so simple, but can only be suited to a few people
It makes the world flow easily
If we could just tell each other what's on our minds
If we could tell the people who are head over heels for us that they have no chance
If we could tell the people who are in love with us that we're in love with someone else
If we could speak our minds more often,
The world, would not be a better place, but perhaps it would be less awful
It would be less painful to exist in this wretched reality and consider our fantasies the only way to escape it
You see all I ever wanted from you was the truth, nothing but that, no matter how much it hurt, I could take it. All I ever wanted was for you to tell me how you felt and what you were thinking and whether or not what we were doing was right. I promise, out of all the things I wanted, that's what I wanted the most. Or maybe even needed. I needed you to confront, to confess, to communicate. But you wouldn't. I gave you all the patience and kindness that I could offer, even though what you did wasn't exactly kind. But still, nothing came out of you, nothing. And it wasn't disappointing as much as it was devastating. So the next thing I needed from you was for you to go, to leave, if there was no effort, I was surely not interested. But of course, if we're talking about what I truly needed, then it was you. I needed you to fight for me, to stay for me, I needed the willingness and persistence you had when we first met. I desperately needed it back but there was, as always, nothing. And so I left you. After a few attempts of leaving, I left you for good. And believe me when I say, as much as it broke my heart, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. See, being away from you meant being in hell, but being around you meant being in emotional death. My so called friend, I wish you the very best, if you met someone new, I hope you're as happy as you could ever be. It was good, but it was temporary. And so were you.

Dear you,
I want my space. I used to say it and think to myself, "I do want my space. But when I want to be alone, you're the only person I want around."
The only person who could defeat my solitude, whose presence equals my need to distance myself
That was then. But now, when I say I want my space. I mean it's me, my emotions and my thoughts all in one room and the only way out is through a door that doesn't allow you to come with me. I mean I need my space. Especially from you. Not from the world, but from you. I don't mind who comes and goes because you are a permanent image stuck in my mind and somehow your presence is always there even on the days where I doubt we ever even happened
Where I doubt you could ever really love me
I wonder why you asked me to go after what I want, I wonder why you lit a match inside my chest and only left me there to burn and suffocate
You generated my feelings and I could never shut them off, not right now, not when it's too late
You put one brick on another, secreted it all with cement and then simply
With one hand gesture
You destroyed all the homes I've built for you
I love you and you're too good and I want this and I want you but no, it won't happen
I don't get you sometimes
And to be frank, I stopped trying to
Because this will only hurt me
This will only bother me
You don't have a single thought in mind of what might be happening in my head in this exact moment
You don't know
And the thing is, I don't think you even want to
I'm writing this and I'm aware that my words don't fit and my sentences don't make sense
But for the first time in a while, I'm writing for relief
For a reason to keep going
For the heartbroken
This one's for an ending that might lead to a beautiful beginning.

Dear you,
I want to tell you something and I know you won't like it. I know that reading this will frustrate you, how every word makes absolutely no sense. You've made it clear that there won't be such a thing as Us. And I want to make myself clear by telling you that asking me not to love you is not going to make me stop. Telling me to put out my fire will not make me grab the nearest bucket of water. I'll never look for a blanket to throw over these flames. Because what makes them true, all these feelings I have for you, is that here I am writing when there was no possibility for me to write again. Here I am trying to tell you something that you'll never truly understand, that I love you. And my love for you grows deeper by the day. It's not a strike of lightening, it's not instant. It's a developing process. My dear, my love for you is a sunset. You bring out the prettiest shades of orange in me, you bring out love stories and daydreams in me. And my love will not stop at this point simply because you asked me to move on. I hope I made it clear enough that you're absolutely the one.

Dear you,
I wasn't wrong for thinking you were what's best for me, it was your fault when you decided that you weren't. When you decided that you were too ****** up, too complicated. As if I'm not. As if it's not the both of us. As if it's only you. Every day is harder than the other because even on my busiest days, I still go back home to find the thought of you, waiting for me. Waiting for its turn to consume my mind. Waiting for the attention that it demands. I still go back home and hope it's you. I still do. And you'll never understand just what you meant to me and how you truly did hurt me and for the very first time, I had the strength to admit it. And you had the audacity to leave.
I didn't say it because I needed you to apologize, or to look down on me. I said it because you matter, and we matter, and we had to find a way to fix our situation instead of leaving it as it is. Maybe it meant a little more to me and a little less to you. Maybe I'm sitting here, hurting, and you're a thousand miles away, with not a single thought on your mind.
When someone tells you that you hurt them, you don't get up and leave. You make an effort to become a better person. That's what I was willing to do for you. Because I knew I had my issues, a wide range of them, but instead of acting on them, I decided to get over myself and be good to you while I still can. I don't know what I felt for you, but I knew that I felt something and that it wasstrong enough to bring us apart. And if you ever fou another, know that their love will be nothing like mine. I always used writing as a way of tolerating the intolerant. And here I am writing for the sake of tolerating you.

There’s something so mesmerising about you
I haven’t quite figured out what that something is…
Is it the way you talk, with sweet words and concepts rushing out of your mouth?
Or is it the way your hair falls back, having perfection spread on each and every inch of you…
Either way, it’s the kind of thing people spend their whole lives looking for
and I’ve found it right here, in you, with you
and I can’t tell you how lucky I am for having the chance to come three steps closer to something, someone so astonishing
The human’s finest traits, the world’s richest shade of hazel, and the different rays of gold in a sunset…All captured into one human being, all found within the beauty of your eyes
You are the perfect representation of the word “pure”
You are what I’d gladly spend hours on end trying to figure out
Let me get to you. Let me inside your mind so I could see the world from your point of view and experience each and every emotion and feeling with you. Because the way you put yourself together, the way you smile kindly despite how cruel life has been to you, the way you talk and the way you laugh, giving me a feeling that you’re back to being 8 years old, is what I love about you. If you asked me to mention the things I love about you, I could go on forever. But one thing I’m certain about, is that there’s a tiny bit of magic in you. A tiny bit of clouds and day dreams, a tiny bit of the things we ought to ourselves to try to feel. You’re utterly true to yourself and the people around you, you’re going through life with pleasure, with a glimpse of hope hidden behind that smile of yours, that someday things will turn out to be the way you want them to. I will always think of you as the human being everyone would ever want to be, because you’re on the cusp of daring yourself to feel. And I could be standing right there, ready to be by your side while you do.