I try not to but I fall into deep sleep
hoping I’d meet you somewhere between the horizon
and the blue sea
I try not to but I picture you looking back at me
taking my hand as we fly through fantasies  
holding me close as we reach galaxies

the land of my mind breaks into two
just by the thought of you crossing it
it rebuilds itself with a home just for you
just by the steps of you approaching it

you send ships and shivers and sunsets my way
you signal motions and birds and daydreams

"Look through me!" I begged
"All I see is that you're as empty as the hole you've left behind you."

what I am is different words, different concepts
I'm true, and I'm real, I'm a friend and I'm a keeper
I'm your saddest hello and your sweetest goodbye
I'm our destiny
love me for good and don't leave me for better

so what happens when you lose something you were so terrified of losing? what happens when the constant dreams of that one person stop occurring? so what if your phobic fears come alive and the world turns into burning ashes, what happens then?
is it fear that controls you, or is fear just an illusion?

it saddens me to think that people who used to be so close to each other, eventually drift apart. that coffee eventually gets cold and cigarettes come to an end and so do our lives.

I miss you
in other words
I would rather get my insides out than to confess to you how much I've missed - and am still missing - you
I could drive for hours on end just to see you but would turn the other way around when i'm halfway there
you're my guilty pleasure and after all this time I still don't seem to be over you
I could never get over you
I might as well just stay under you and let myself melt down to the warmth of your embrace
because even though you've hurt me, and let me down, that's what everyone does, right?
and throughout all the times I've been hurt
you're by far
my favorite reason to lose sleep
my favorite human being
go ahead and cut me down
you know I'll always come back to you
it's not a matter of pride not a matter of right or wrong
I've endured the same old pain for a long period of time and just at the end of the day, after talking to you, I feel... big things, like joy
but that doesn't mean anything does it?
I could love you for eternity but you'd still refuse to come back because of certain reasons and one of them is that you know me, you know me too **** well to be fooled by my words
or at least that's what you think
I've let myself inside your mind and I've wandered there for all this time yet I still couldn't find a single thought of a connection between you and I
I love you I do but I'm too cold and cruel and I know that my broken bits will give you hurtful scars and I'm sorry for being this way but just so you know
you're my serendipity
there's no escape from your labyrinth except into your arms

I long to be full of life
I want to write, to read
to fall in love over and over again
until I'm convinced that I'm living and
I'm not as empty as I assume