What do you think about hands?”
I have no idea how about you tell me-
I could still remember how stubborn and reluctant I was;
God knows how much I just wanted you to force the words out of me,
How I wanted you to be a part of my thoughts.
Funny thing is how I finally gave in;
“I think that hands are the most inevitable creatures on earth;”
Despite that you’ve never understood what I meant,
what intention I had beneath all of those words.
As days and weeks pass, there was no ice left to break;
all that ever came out of me were tears.
I could hear my heart break as you left;
it sounded like nuclear bomb, it sounded like you.
I was so naive to allow you to do that;
to allow you to go on and be free from all of the life’s shackles.
You left me behind as if nothing happened,
after opening up to you and letting you see the
hidden parts of me filled with guilt, agony, anger, jealousy and love.
I showed you the universe, the stars and how the collided with
all of the words that I could possibly find.
Stitching them together as if they were about to
uncover a hidden message or puzzle telling you that
you were my long lost one that I have been anticipating.
“What do you think about hands?”
I ask myself again and again.
Repeating the words till my mouth feels numb from
the words that I try to make out but I just can’t.
You almost grew in the darkest parts of me.
That includes my hands, my heart and my lungs.
But you were long dead and gone even before
you could start to grow into something beautiful.
I’ll wait;
Despite the number of years that it will take
for you to realise that I have been waiting
eagerly for your arrival in my life.
Waiting for you to stay permanently and forever in my life;
no matter what the circumstances are
no matter what the life has in stored for me,
I will still wait;
and for that, my hands will always remind me of you.
I try to fix the pieces that you left me with, together. But I don't know if I'm making sense myself.