I am the Witch of the Moon

I cast spells for the stars

And they sing me lullabies to sooth me into troubled sleep

I crush herbs in the craters of the moon and scatter their dust across the sky

The universe calls to me and I run

Deep in the caverns of my beloved home

They wish to rip me from Luna

To go traipsing across the stars

With my entrancing words

And whimsical ways

But I only dance in the light of her glow

I only sing when we are alone

Every time I sit down with the intention of expunging thoughts from my jumbled up and cloudy mind
The wires get tangled
The letters mush together into pictograms that I can't decipher

My intentions and my feelings come out in a foreign way
I don't even understand what they're trying to say and
it's
so
maddening
to realize that I can't even communicate with myself

Am I declining into insanity?
Or am I just far more smitten with you than I even let myself believe?

Your presence wraps around me and nothing else matters.
When I feel you near, I am happy.
And it ****** me off.

Sometimes I want to rage
and grump
and pout
and there are so many things about you that make me want to just smile and say it's okay
even when it's a lie

So when I lash out and strike you
when I get snippy and short of tongue
I'm just trying to stay grounded in my ever overwhelming emotional state

I'm just trying to stay sane
Even though the overwhelming thought of you nearly bursts my membrane
You've turned my poems to **** and my heart to sludge
and
I love you.

I’ve forgotten how to fall.

Completely let go and let myself

plummet

into your inevitability

I’ve forgotten how to be overwhelmed

by you

your eyes

your hands

the way I feel when I can’t tell if warmth of the sheets is from my heated nature or yours

My tangled emotions come out in all the wrong order

I’m sorry I’m a little crazy

My ****** up heart makes me think I’m losing my mind sometimes

I may never pull myself together

and climb out of this rut forever

but at least I know

how I feel about you

My emotions are
     drip
          drip
               dripping
out of my melting heart.

I try to hold them in but my fingers form a mere collandar.

I need a vast cauldron to stew my
ever-changing mind in.

All of my concerns and ideals get confused.
         Jumbled.
                        Befuddled.
                                                      And twisted around .
I wish life was a straight line sometimes.
So that my eyes knew which direction to shine in.

I've got this slow sinking feeling

In the most golden way possible

I feel you slipping into my life as easily as my last love

The last one that I let in so deep I could barely find all the pieces of him to pull back out once he was gone

There are still bits that linger

That remind me

But I'm not protesting your gradual descent into my heart

I'd rather like to keep you there

i.

I didn’t want you

but I hadn’t yet learned

how to say no.

ii.

Further educated

completely resistant

yet you took what you wanted from me

iii.

You were a terrible mistake

A horrible

30 second mistake

iv.

You awoke my hunger

and my passion

and I hated you

v.

I wanted you but

not like that

in broad daylight

vi.

your accent

but your attitude

thank god you were a one night stand

vii.

for the first time in years

i felt actual affection

i want you again