Nightmares cascading,
Rivers of ****** terror,
Vengeance is needed.

I whispered your name to the sea,
Wishing you'd  come back to us.
But I know there's no hope,
So I'll just visit my memories.
Nothing can bring you back.
The tears have dried on my cheeks
As I finally accept that you've gone.

If there's no sun, I've got the rain,
Which will help cover my pain.
It's so hard to stay strong,
When the lonely nights are so long.
My tears run like rivers from my eyes,
I'm trapped within my own disguise.
I wonder when the pain will end,
I wonder when I'll be okay again.
How long I've been in my hell,
How long I've hurt, I can't tell.
All I know is I'm almost through,
And there's really nothing you can do.

Save my soul, fix my heart,
Don't let me fall apart.
Silence the voices in my head,
Forget the words they never said.
I'm fighting back horrified screams,
Help me wake from these cancerous dreams.
Stuck within this torn reality,
I cannot escape from its brutality.
Subconscious demos all around me,
These mental horrors soon will drown me.
Stop me from going insane,
I'm drowning in this rain.
Please don't turn away,
I need to hear 'It's okay.'
Be the one to save my life,
I want you to hide my knife.
Teach me to believe me in myself,
I'm begging for your help.

Have I made you mad somehow?
Did I upset you in someway?
Baby please tell me what I did
So I can try to make it all okay.
If it wasn't me who upset you,
Then please tell me what's wrong.
I want to be there for you,
I want to help you be strong.
But honey, you've got to let me in,
And reveal to me your heart.
Once you tell me what it is,
I can know where to start.

'Just move on' they say, but how?
Cuz seeing your face, it kills me now.
I'm brought to my knees,
Destroyed by the memories.
I should be done with crying,
And I shouldn't be lying,
Saying "I'm really okay,"
When I can't go on another day.
I believed all you said, all your lies.
In the end you just made me cry.
The pain you caused, the hurt you bring;
It makes it so I can't breathe.
I was stupid to let myself fall.
I was stupid to give you my all.
Everything I'd heard was right,
Yet I had to be me and fight.
I was stupid and I was blind.
Why won't my heart listen to my mind?
I'm sick of the pain, tired of the tears;
Done with the way my mascara smears,
Smudged under my eyes, dark and black,
All because I want you back.
There are nights I can't sleep; you invade my thoughts.
So many tears that memories of us have brought.
I'll probably need years to heal,
And now I find trust hard to feel.
But I thank you too, you taught me this;
Never again will I fall for someone's kiss.

You always said you'd be there for me, but Mom, you're not.
Where are you? Where've you gone? I think you forgot
About all the promises you made to me.
You've never been here, you've always been away, are you ashamed of me?
I think of the times you made me cry,
And I gotta wonder why, why do I care?
I see you don't, you never did, all you've said is lies.
What about when I was five, and that boy touched me wrongly?
You seemed mad, and you told my aunt
"You can't tell her dad."
I'd thought it was my fault, I didn't know, how was I supposed to?
I think back on it now and I just break down.
Thanks to that and thanks to you, I'm so ****** up now.
You can't call yourself a mom, cuz you arent one, to my brothers or me.
I hate you and I hate me.
Sometimes I can't stop crying.
I've given up, my wrists have bled,
And sometimes I wish I was dead.
Oh how I wish to forget, forget everything.
You never mean what you say or say what you mean.
I've got hurt, shame, guilt, pain, and rage.
I keep my emotions locked up in a cage.
I never wanna see you again, just go to hell.
In shadow of your selfishness, I fell.
You're not my mom, you never were, get outta my life.
All this pain you've caused, it still cuts me like a knife.
I was forced to grow up way too fast.
Inside I'm just a little girl, scared and ashamed of my past.
I'm being destroyed inside cuz I hate myself
For something I can't help.
Don't even try to aplogize;
Saying sorry won't make up for all the lies.
Thanks to you I hide what I feel,
Thanks to you, I'll probably never heal.
I hope you're please with how I turned out to be,
Cuz it's all thanks to you, Mommy....