You tell me you love me
How can you love someone you can't even stand to be around
I can't stand to be with myself either knowing the only person I've ever loved doesn't love me back anymore
How am I supposed to live with myself knowing it's my fault

Sometimes I wish I was your first love.
I wish I held that spot that means so much,
I wish I was your first love because it's always the strongest.
Other times I'm glad I wasn't knowing you'd not be you without going through those first.

Sometimes I wish I was your first love.
I want to be the one you never forget,
I want to be the one that matters most.
Other times I'm glad I wasn't because I want to be the last.

Sometimes I wish I was your first love.
I don't want to have to worry if I ever compare,
I don't want to be insecure you love me less.

The hardest part of falling in love is telling yourself you are able to love,
Love is unexpected,
Love is messy,
Love is beautiful,
Love is intense.

The hardest part of falling in love is teaching yourself you are deserving of it,
Love unapologetically,
Love strongly,
Love often.

The hardest part of falling in love is trusting someone with such a raw emotion,
Love is kind,
Love is trust.

The easiest part of falling in love was falling in love with you,
I've loved you since the moment I saw you,
I'll love you until the day I die,
Love is you.

You kiss my body,
Your saliva marks my skin in an invisible painting,
With every kiss comes a gasp,
With every gasp comes a kiss.

You touch my body,
Your fingers tracing the most eloquent drawing across the rough edges of my skin,
The lighter you touch the more I respond

You make your art so nobody but us can see it,
Your paintings are our secret,
Your drawings permanently etched into my memory,
These I will selfishly keep for myself,
Why would I want to share the most beautiful part of me

You tell me you'll show me your writing one day,
I waited for that day to get the chance to make home in the deepest crevices of your mind,
I'm not sure why I allowed myself to think it would be as beautiful as a field of freshly bloomed flowers when nobody's mind is that pure.
I read about your love for other women,
I'm no fool,
I've known I wasn't your first.
I read about how no love could compare to the love you feel for this blue eyed beauty as all the love in all the seas reflected from them,
I can feel what you feel for them as your eyes are more blue than the bright sky and I can feel myself flying in them.
That's okay I never asked to be your first love
I could feel the hurt reflecting in my boring brown eyes as I read the lines time and time again.
I'm no fool,
I know I can never be your first,
But I'd like to be your last.
I don't want to feel in competition to make you love me more.
You haven't fallen in love with me yet, but oh god what I would give to love you and have you love me back even more.
I'm no blue eyed beauty my eyes will never reflect the color of the sea but maybe one day you can learn to love exploring the deep dirt of the earth in mine.