Midwest highway
sting of cold air in my veins
a rush of hope
desire flows
im happy wild and free

I ran into a house
metallic snow of my design
escape me to this day
ill find myself
where and when and why

I live for life
i guess you'd say i cant stand living
organized the boredom here it takes me back
too ******* far too wide

I miss the broken seashells
cracking on the rocks
overcast sky and shrieking gulls
hacking away at my own eyes
forget the life i left behind
i miss my island
miss my tide

Im not pretty
I wish that I was because then
maybe someone would **** me
I want to ride someone until they ***
but if I did I would jiggle and be even more ugly
I want to be thin

I wish I was pretty enough to be a seventies groupie
Strong, and graceful
with famous men wrapped around their fingers
and life at the tip of their tongues

my painted fingers feel like armor
when i rub them together i feel them pilling
i like pills
specifically oxy
it makes me nauseous
so does bourbon
but i dont mind that
it also makes me floaty
and black out
i dont like to black out i love drunk memories  
they make me feel free
even though im really stuck in a bird cage
it was my moms birthday
she smiles when i told her i love her
what have you done tonight
what do you mean
I wanna try coke
ive been thinking about that a lot lately
***** makes me feel best I dont get hungover with it
so I drank that too
I wanna stab my self
not for pain or anything (I mean i want that too)
but because I love blood i wanna see it
taste it
im done now

roughness
I thrive on it
Toughness
I live for it
Little girl of sixteen
Begging for ferocity
Tell me
Teach me
Mark me up
Pain is pretty
And I wanna be ******* beautiful

I'm a stone cold ******* practically pleading for my pale neck in between your callused hands
And blood dripping from my lip
From a hard bite that caused me to whimper

I'm a **** for ***** ****

Alright little ones lay down to sleep
Little boy with his favorite plastic Dino
Little girl with her dolly
And me with my ragged cotton stuffed dog
Never was I binary
I don't know if I ever really wanted to be
I felt like I was walking on a tight rope and I was really **** good at it never falling onto either side and never ending

And that just kinda works for me
My family loves me
My friends are caring as hell
And I feel a little like I fit