my painted fingers feel like armor
when i rub them together i feel them pilling
i like pills
specifically oxy
it makes me nauseous
so does bourbon
but i dont mind that
it also makes me floaty
and black out
i dont like to black out i love drunk memories  
they make me feel free
even though im really stuck in a bird cage
it was my moms birthday
she smiles when i told her i love her
what have you done tonight
what do you mean
I wanna try coke
ive been thinking about that a lot lately
***** makes me feel best I dont get hungover with it
so I drank that too
I wanna stab my self
not for pain or anything (I mean i want that too)
but because I love blood i wanna see it
taste it
im done now