blanket forts and cups of tea
mother's old quilt hand stiched together
worn at the seams
castles of pure white snow
melt into rivers, transform into seas
we float among the rubble
eyes turned to the frosty sky
hazed, glazed over.
Plumes of smoke pour from our lips
we move to embrace from touching finger tips
intermingled in the cold of december
dancing drunk out in the yard
the neighbours call the cops,
we are singing too loud.
The lights they spun, the siren screamed,
your all that I have imagined.
all we have is each other till the sun comes to shine light on our eyes
when it hits morning
may I have this dance with you,
the only witness, the man on the moon.

there is no longer a division between days...
it is just an endless phase of flashes of light, followed by prolonged darkness.
these eyes are tired but don't seem to close,
the ache that is deep within these bones.
drawing up blanks.
the words don't seem to fit.
but they dont need to.
its 3am.
lips deep in tea,
under empty blankets.
But then I remember why I am here...

the feeling in your heart stays
long after your lips depart.
no one has ever made me smile as much as him.
the simple things...

standing in the forest barefoot, alone, and in fear...
I gained more then I think I will ever comprehend.
when day after day you wake up to the sun rising through
the windows of a log cabin
you begin to see life in a different way.
have watched the stars rise above my head,
my body cold and wet.
the milky way and the scattered collage of lights...
the first thing that came to mind was him...

stars respresent the vast possiblities of life
anything is possible
the most beautiful things happen when you least expect it
like him...

Once you blink the moment is gone
two weeks later here I am...
from his flaws to his perfections
I love unconditionally...

No one is perfect,
there is differences,
there can be awkward silences...
nothing is pure, but the key is to growing and trying.
ive learned in the past two months
it can be hard sometimes in life
to be far from the one you love
or to be far from things you expected or known
but you cant give up
no matter how much it can be trying
in the end things will work out.

empty notebooks
waiting to bare the weight of thoughts
sunsets
i lay parellel with the horizon
shifting positions
as the dawn fades to black and blue
where stars divide two worlds with a milky line
where are you tonight

pause
were in fastforward
im feeling ill
the life I lead is passing by me
although I am standing still
pause tomorrow
pause today
pause this moment
darling stay

laughter fills in the gaps
of silence that was left
wrinkled quits keep company
in the space beside my head
where a soul once lingered beneath the sheets
is nothing but a fond memory

farther reaches
long speeches
endless capacity inside your head
further you fall the higher you get
it will only be a matter of time
before it reaches you

how long would it take to end it all

have you seen the snow tops in colorado
try to imagine the river of passion within
have you ever got lost in an english garden
where have you been

hide and seek
nothing has fallen out of reach
you just don't know how to lean
there is hope inside that body
but the light is dim

raging on toxians
coping a feel
although the visions through your eyes
are opaque
your body is an etch a sketch of scars
the red ribbion tied in your hair
a reminder
that something once did exist
but it has been long since it resided here

farther reaches
larger objectives to obtain
tiny body
wirey frame
a lion heart
freed from a cage
hollow eyes
of sorrow
why dream of tomorrow?

Almost twenty years later
starting to gain ground
Understanding comes bitter and sweet
always believeing  I was ahead
foolish
always believing I was so strong
denial
always avoiding the issue
truth

Truth is
fear has led to defeat
Harsh times
led to retreat
For no other reason than fear
Bigger problem is letting go

Inexperience still wallows in the cavity my being takes hold
Smothering in fear of losing
Holding so tight
everything is brusing
Bones so tense
its confusing
Anxious over absolutely nothing
So *******  needy it is crazy

Got too much time
been around people too long
forgot that it is okay to be alone