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Tori Gadney May 2013
When I was young
I would wake up
To the sound of
My mother’s voice
As she called me
Down for a bowl
Of cereal before
I went off to school.
Frosted Flakes
Would get me
Through the day
As I went on
With the tasks
Almost all
Grade school
Children had
To do. Small
Favors for friends
I no longer talk
To because time
And distance
Has wedged it’s
Way between
Us and I am
Okay with that
Even though
Then I could
Never dream of
Such a day
Happening.
I don’t sleep
Anymore. Instead
I find someone
To make me scream
And I do just that
As I lay back down
To the boy next
To me I find myself
Hungry and
Ask for a bowl
Of Frosted Flakes
Before I leave
For the night.
Tori Gadney May 2013
There’s never a dull moment
When I’m with you, and we’re
Going around town making
Fools of ourselves because
There’s nothing better to do.
And I can hold your hand
Without fear that you will
Let go if it so happens that
One of your friends crosses
Our path while we’re on
Some adventure. I can hold
Your hand because you’re
My best friend and we
Understand that sometimes
It’s just nice to have the
Comfort of another without
Having that comfort in bed.
We can go to the park and
Act like kids not caring
Who watches because
It’s fun and we’re bored
On a Saturday afternoon
But at night I can dress
How I want because you
Like that I don’t care what
I wear going out to some
Party where we’ll both
End up drunk walking
Home but not knowing
Where home really is.
And yeah, I blur the lines
Between us as I crawl into
Bed next to you at the end
Of the day because I’m tired
And you’re nothing but warm
And I’m still drunk from
A long night of drink after
Drink and smokes that never
End because you so kindly let
Me *** off your whole pack.
I can lie next to you so
Comfortably and cuddle
While you hold me tight
Because I so kindly ask you to.
And our whole friendship is
A line we both tiptoe on as
I push the boundaries and
My hand goes from your
Chest down to where I know
You’re feeling the blood
Rush and I can hear you
Breathing on my neck but
You won’t say stop and I won’t
Say please because I’m
Just wondering if this is
What friends are for.
Nothing happens though because
I’m too drunk and you’re too
Scared to find out if it’s actually
A feeling you have or just the
Lust you get when you see a
Pretty girl in a tight dress.
In the morning you’ll look at me
And say sorry, and I’ll pretend like
Nothing happened because
That’s the truth and I miss you
Already.  In the morning you’ll
Realize that you do like me but
You won’t say anything because
Just like last night you’re too
Scared to ruin what we have and
I’m too shy to say otherwise.
I blur the lines because when I’m
With you there’s never a time
When I think it’s not right
Even though the next day
You’ll go back to her and
I’ll go back to trying to find
A replacement for what
We could have been but
Never quite were because
It’s too risky to ruin this
Friendship when I’m already
Too comfortable to give
You up and you’re too
***** to give her up.
And you’ll call me Bambi
Because it’s cute to
You and I just like hearing
Your voice on the phone
So we can talk and tease and
Be the couple we can never be.
Tori Gadney May 2013
Do you believe in Heaven?
You know the place with
White, pearly gates.
Cotton houses floating
Effortlessly in the sky holding
Wonders we could only
Dream of at night while we're
Still breathing on solid
Ground.
Home after home
When we're called to our
Fate and nothing is left for
Us because it's
Our time.
Everything happens for a reason
They say. Everything
Happens for a cause.
And I can only think of all
Those souls taken from
Mothers and fathers
And all those lives stolen
Before they had time
To fully mature.
Everything happens for
A reason.
They go to a place
Beyond this where no
One fights or cries
And you get a home to live
With the ones you loved.
Forever.
And you ask me
Do I believe in Heaven.
No matter how unlikely the
Thought of it is I think
Of all those I wish
Were in a better place,
A better time,
Somewhere they could
Be free and all
I can say is
I want to.
Tori Gadney May 2013
You’re a China doll,
Move tenderly.
Be sure not to fall,
you break easily.
Build yourself a wall,
Don’t let him in.
Tori Gadney May 2013
No other path to take
Can’t decide what to make
Of myself these days
No fork in the road to
help me find my way
beyond all this come May.
Tori Gadney May 2013
Smile slowly
Make your way to me
Offer just one, maybe two
Keep the rest hidden
End cause.
Tori Gadney May 2013
I was running down some corridor
And she's screaming how I'm a *****
Words leaving my heart kind of sore
I think something in me has just tore
Squirming slightly on the cold floor
Begging now for something more
But I still can’t get passed that
One closed door; nor the fact that
Inside of me is some ongoing war.
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