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My identity is an enigma wrapped in a riddle,
My emotions hide behind a marble mask,
The shifting shadows make my cape,
The soft darkness looms over me,
Hidden in plain sight for none to see.
This is what I have been reduced to,
I am an amalgamation of him and her and them,
In fact, I could be anyone at all.
I smile, and the dagger on my tongue is hidden,
I laugh, and my hatred is hidden.
The best way to have everything is to leave everyone else with nothing,
And so. With thoughtful words and malicious intent,
A web of lies is wound around my prey.
The greatest treasure lies hidden in plain sight.
Say, have you seen it?
 Jan 2014 topaz oreilly
Mr E
From where I sit I stare blankly
Nostalgia takes over, remembering the times of old
A tear runs down my eye so quiet
For those memories are only that
Yet I yearn to revisit those warming times
Where I like to think I had a plan
But here I lay
Only left to dig up my lost memories
Crying we could never hold that moment again
But smile because we were given the chance
Soft music wafts throughout my head
I look deep down the wishing well of time
And scoop my past in the cusp of my hand
I sigh at the magic it emits
For that magic is me
Intertwined with who I am today
The garden planted so long ago
Sprouted and in fullest bloom
Each flower like a story
Every **** like an unexpected journey
The sun shimmering through the sunflower sea
I lay with my hand over my forehead
Humming with the subtle tunes of a lovely life
The cicadas buzz with the swaying of plants
Wispy clouds never ceasing to say hello
I dare not shut my eyes in fear I will lose what I have here
I palm the dirt beneath my resting spot
For this dirt holds my roots
My past and cradles my future
This garden here beyond the sky
My garden.
Is my home
you begin in the dark, ready to dance,
the scars & the pills & the aching joints forgotten.
on tiptoe you run across silvery grass
gray hair fading to chestnut wave
& tight ******* pulling your ***** high & firm
racing, dancing beneath the sky,
a shout, a leap,
and for a moment your fingertips
grasp the crescent moon,
for a moment you are she who was,
and time pirouettes aside
from its immutable journey.


1-3-14
i hope ***** aren't too explicit--mine sure aren't at my age!
Disordered Thoughts, Naturally

the ceiling fan overhead
shakes back and forth,
beginning, a train of
disordered thoughts,
this poem,
the caboose.

reimagined, the fan,
it becomes
a yeshiva boy
fervent praying,
his version of ***** dancing,
shaking rocking swaying fervor,
shuckling.

for what does he pray?

for advance forgiveness
for he is simulcast
requesting getting lucky,
to be knowing
the miracle of being
with a woman or a man,
thus, getting closer to
God,
naturally.

He will be excised
for being human,  
he will be excused  
for by definition,
by succeeding and by failing,
in his desire
to be close to divine,
he best divines the
tragicomic nature of the
human condition:
the joy of sin,
the sin,
of a life without joy,
naturally.


Clean sheets nightly,
turn down service,
chocolates on my pillow,
good night kisses
on each eye,
even spooning,
are not among the
six hundred and thirteen
positive commandments
in the Bible.
why not?

why,
cannot this be
constitutionally amended,

by voice vote
of anyone who cares
to shout out a yay,
or blink approvingly,
or signs by fingers
sugar snapping and
hands, toe tapping?

all methodologies
intended to indicate the satisfaction
that comes from changes
made not in,
but also
from
the human tissue of heartbeats,
naturally

Somewhere
a solitary fish
swims upstream,
against the current,
defying odds...

weird,
the ways things should be,
never thinking,
wondering out loud,
why compulsion impels
so many living things
to do the opposite of logical,
natural in so many ways.

never asking,
why a fish must struggle to spawn,
upwards and onwards
to die so it, and the
the man, the bear,
he will feed,
the progeny released
can live?


for if this is the
natural order,
then is not nature,
too oft logically discordant,
and thus
disorder is the
state of being,
naturally.

Something makes me
awestruck and wondrous silent,
ever time I touch a
young child's skin,
joy instantaneous takes hold,
true shock and awe
succumbs me.

cannot be just miracle mine,
the sensation of life so sweet,
wondrous on my fingertips,
that repeated stroking is
******* addictive,
naturally.

what would be the harm,
if this soft shell of derma-finery
were a permanent condition,
a constant reminder,  
we all share,
born and bred,
a premier clean slate of
natural innocence unblemished,
perma-frosted prima face facile,
naturally.

this was how
we were created,
why perforce,
was it deemed orderly,
'better'
to evolve into something
grizzled, cracked and roughened slowly,
naturally.

Strange thoughts
are my normal fare,
if you only knew
the laugh of it,  
you might recommend,
keeping them closer still,
and me
far away from you!


maybe there is a God above,
but if there is,
he be
responsible for the sleepless nights
where stanzas of
whimsy, pain and joy are soldered,
ironed into a coalescing coalition,
denoted as a
restless and disordered mind,
but of course!
not my fault,
naturally!

next time we meet,
see smiles irregularly sweet,
turning,
reversing to and fro,
for such is the
inchoate state
of what transverses
on my cellular network
these rambunctious dark hours,
naturally.
these disordered thoughts, are nature allied, nat-urally...
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