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132 · Oct 2022
A Happy Marriage
topacio Oct 2022
The great thing about being married
to my alone is how she is everywhere,

she is in the bathroom stall and
the never dialed midnight calls,

she sits under layers of conversation
when relation has left the dialogue,

nestled in my car rides where I
can truly soak into her aroma,

and sing her songs that sound
better only when she's around.

She's the same as she ever was,
and she hasn't aged a day,

open and expansive,
molecular and cool.

She knows herself so well,
and takes up space as if

she created it herself.
I envy her sometimes

when I am all places at once and
empty vessels are nowhere to be found.

But she finds herself back to me
so often I believe she never really left.

I dare to say we might be soulmates,
is what hits me as I take my walk to the kitchen

and leave you comfortable in my bed,
in your unhappy marriage to your alone.
132 · Aug 2021
clumsy poem
topacio Aug 2021
how many of you
do I have to ****,
to gracefully unravel
a written rose from
the depths
of my soul?
128 · Sep 2022
Coexist
topacio Sep 2022
The high priestess sun
and the moon
sitting
on a throne
of space
were all
people could
write of
before
screens
took over
the face.

Galileo liked to kiss
his telescope with an
eye full of curiosity
jotting down notes
of invention,
while Monet stared
so hard at flowers
he came back as
pollen riding a bee.

The wind whispered
a different tune
back then,
it had a voice
and plenty a
listening ears
to land on.

I heard the sea
also slept with sirens,
who slept with sailors,
that slipped into stories
we don't know to be
true or false.

I wonder what it was
like when two worlds
knew how to coexist,
when humans
lived with magic,
and without
the need to
overtake.

But I believe
we have glued
our wings too
close to the sun,
we never got the
chance to fly.

I often see
our finish line
in the way
we treat
each other,
save for the
select souls
who can still
sing the
siren song,

who can sit
with silence
and heartbeat,
swim into deep
hours of nothing
and bring back
significance,
jotting it down
as verse or book.

Let us inch closer and closer
to this forgotten behavior, you and I.
128 · Sep 2022
Refrain
topacio Sep 2022
You will never
know how I held
back sharp words
behind a caged mouth,
when you asked
me of my day.

I wanted to cut off
your golden hair
and wear it as
a mustache,
because you
forgot to take
out the **** trash.

I had my lighter
right around
my neck,
and knew
how to
spark it,

but knew
that one
spark
of anger
would
destroy
our million
pieces of
shared joy.

And so I
refrained,
and thought maybe
I had completed
an important
life lesson.

Maybe somehwere up
in the heavens
God and Jesus
were cajoling
over wine
of my decision,

The little cherub
angels were
sounding their
trumpets
preparing for
my arrival
one day,

and sharpeining
their wings
to inevitably
carry me back
to my improved
return as
some great
historical
figure or
rare bird,
to reward
my refrain,
to reward
my refrain.
126 · Jul 2022
The Poet's Journey
topacio Jul 2022
I wonder when Ferlinghetti
spoke of ballerinas in Central Park,
how much coffee he chugged
before feeling the electric
buzz of descriptions
coarse through his pen.

I imagine Mary Oliver
sitting seaside in a cabin,
with shells lining her desk
and her chamomile tea
whispering soft haikus
for her to relay to the world.

Rilke traveling through
Swiss mountains on a train
with a leather briefcase
filled with handwritten letters
and wisdoms borrowed from
his heartbreaks.

Did they write with me in mind?
With other poets in tow?
Their great loves on their sleeves,
melting into their prose.
Who did you write your poems for?

Did they know that a young girl
in California would be sleeping
with their names on books at night,
in replace of a lover?

I bet Hemingway would've like that.
126 · Jan 2020
if poems could speak
topacio Jan 2020
i had a poem once tell me:
shut up and get to work.
take the string of electricity
just sent to you from the heavens
and weave me onto your paper
this line will only be available
for a short period of time
until we get annoyed with your
unwillingness to devote yourself,
and like the last girl who was also idly
staring into the blank abyss of her walls
we will reclaim our line and
shoot it on over to the grandmother next door
who sits ever so patiently with her tea
and a first edition copy of that new stephen king novel
she has been meaning to dive into.
her pen situated between her index and *******
and i reckon in that moment
i will finally be birthed
in the margins,
in between the paragraphs
speaking of white robes and blood.
124 · Jul 2022
They Say
topacio Jul 2022
Those who can't do, teach
and those who can't write novels,
write poetry.
123 · Oct 2022
Conspiracy
topacio Oct 2022
I can't remember when
I started to see color,
maybe it was when
I chose you as
my lover.

Or when the delicate hum
of conspiracy wrapped its
violent claws around my waist,
and I learned how to speak her tune.

The grey landscape turned blue
when I chose to see my lens through you.
122 · Jul 2020
outside of the box.
topacio Jul 2020
i have failed over
and over
and over
and over again
looking to others
to understand the
strength and power
of my critical thinking.
121 · Nov 2022
small
topacio Nov 2022
How shall I understand the nature of small?
crumble my body, folding my flesh in on
itself until I am round like
the rolling armadillo?

Praise the grains of sand that
make up our coast while
ignoring the sea?

Maybe I will just
write a haiku instead and
turn into a word.
topacio Jul 2021
darkness met the boy
and the boy in turn chose darkness
with older age

darkness met the girl
and the girl in turn chose lightness
with older age

and even though the two were both met with darkness,
their choices paved their paths
towards negative or positive
towards light and heavy,
easy and hard

the problem was when those paths
crossed back into each other
battling to find common ground,
finding a language within
the turmoil of their choices,
when love was created in the
rubble of their crossed paths.
love positivity negativity darkness
120 · Sep 2024
Worcestershire sauce
topacio Sep 2024
It came to my attention
just the other day
there are very few poems
written about Worcestershire sauce.

Maybe it's the way we uniformly
can't spell the **** word,
as it walks onto the golden scene
like a stumbling child unable
to put one foot in front of the other.

That's how it feels as it rolls off my tongue,
and I find myself lowering my voice
to a desperate hugh to mask my unknowingness.

Worcestershire sauce is plagued with good looks.  
She is mountainous on paper,
like a range over the Alps,
that I want to climb barefoot in spring.

Or a rare type of dog
you find gallivanting next to it's
owner at the Ohio state dog show,
conditioned hair glowing in the light.

But lets not forget how she
compliments a stew,
or a lackluster dish
like a sailor to a maiden:
how you season my day!

Would Mary's be ****** without her droppings?
I'll save that answer for the day I can pronounce her.
119 · Jul 2022
Hush
topacio Jul 2022
I want all my lines to pack a punch
but all I hear after each line's jolted rush,
is to crawl back from whence I came,
to remain there with a hush.

your gender won't allow it
your race won't allow it
privilege soaked woman
with fair skin, pretty mouth, oval eyes

stay in your corner with your hush
line up like the rest of them,
in between the dazzling city lights
allow your clothes to hug you tight

stay in your corner with your hush
dont speak of your misery into the night
when they have learned to scream louder,
crawl into dank spaces with a lofty smile
and hand out compliments on your grandma's gilded platters

stay in your corner with your hush
allow the woman to side-eye you
allow the man to side-eye you
while the world remains all ablaze
and the women fix their hair on murky bar mirrors

stay in your corner with your hush
don't speak too much, you'll give it away
that you are a breathing living entity of
fire, earth and water.

Don't dare relate them
to me or you
to he or they or them
for they have found more comfort
in separation than in likeness,
remain as unsharpened pencils in a box
dazzling in a row, ineffective for the prose,
stay in your corner with your hush.
114 · Apr 2020
rollercoaster
topacio Apr 2020
you were brilliant
but it came with a cost

for every 5
lines
i was given
1 insult

you were really good
at the art of
sandwiching
two compliments
in between one insult,

you lathered the treatment
so earnestly
as you whimsically would touch my hair
and bow down to my
choice of shoes
only to, on the way up
snidely remark
about the one hair i had
forgotten to shave on my leg

it is a price you pay
he said as he looked into my eyes
i will give you the highs
but also carry to you the lows

for i am the rollercoaster
you have willingly paid admission for.
105 · May 2020
the other girl.
topacio May 2020
you chose a rookie
over an all star.
because in order to
be with an all star,
you have to level up,
and to be blunt sir
you couldn't measure up.

now i look to you rookie,
its your awakening
time to be an allstar.
103 · Nov 2021
when to walk.
topacio Nov 2021
my dear lads and lasses
don't go into nights and day
not understanding the
difference between
a diamond and a pebble,
for just because they are
round doesn't mean
they are the same in value!

and know when
you are treated as such
in accordance to
what you are!
97 · Jul 2022
Zebra
topacio Jul 2022
To not
know whether you
are black with white stripes
or white with black stripes

carry on without a mirror to investigate
or a care for that matter,
for nature has embedded
the answers into your veins.

the code of your creation,
of your knowing
is buried in the silence
in between your thoughts.
94 · Jan 2020
permanent exit
topacio Jan 2020
i felt the arrows of feeling
pointed towards me
anger's blade was sharpened by the sun
as it soared over to greet my skin
and my state of contentment
had been washed over
with a dormant state of resentment
because attached to that arrow,
buried deep in the vein of its *****,
was a biting memory of your skin
moving against mine
and then the
bitter pang of its quick and permanent
exit from the chapters of my life.
92 · Jul 2022
The Parisian Girl
topacio Jul 2022
I remember fondly
when you asked me
if I knew French before
our first dinner date.

I lied and said yes,
just to hear the
sparkle in your tone.

I lied and said yes,
just to see the smile
from your face
vanish when
I confronted you
with an obvious truth,

to see if you felt
embarrassed by
your misplaced lust,
or at ease with your
perpetual enstatement of it.

as you slowly realized,
it wasn't me you
were chasing,
but maybe a cute
Parisian girl
in a striped turtleneck
eating a croissant,
under some beige canopy
who vaguely resembles me,

And while you were sitting
there wondering of that girl,
I easily slipped into
my Marie Antoinette accent
so I can practice it on you.
91 · Jan 2020
sand
topacio Jan 2020
i looked in the mirror
and i saw a desert
there was a blank desolate
canvas of space
waiting to be filled
waiting to be acknowledged
or called out
i have no choice but to examine
every grain of sand
that makes me
who i am
85 · Jun 2020
the game.
topacio Jun 2020
they try
to **** you dry
every last drop
of hope and kindness
they want to see just how
dry they can squeeze you.

a little game you see,
one thats not to understand
the sweetness of the juice,
but one to watch you see
as they flex their
skill of the purposeful spill.
cold blooded the game

— The End —