The Angels open their arms and God smiled upon you that cold wintery night when you were taken from us in the blink of an eye.  We mourned your death we cried our tears. Losing you made us realize just how precious life is. I didn't know you but you knew me. You looked my way and I turned my head. Your friends knew you as Aaron but I knew you as "that one kid." Looking back I wish I had spoken just one simple sentence. Asked you "How was your day?" or politely smiled back. Ah yes if I could turn the hands of time I supposed I would have taken the time to have gotten to know you better. But alas I am too late. You were called upon to spend eternity with God whom you loved so much. As I sit here listening to the chirping of the birds I wonder if you forgave me for being so cruel. For taking your kindness for granted. For not giving you a chance. Aaron I am sorry it took your passing for me to have realized just how big my ego is and I am sorry that it took you leaving this Earth to say that I'm sorry to you. I just wish I wasn't too late.

Last night I seen you in my dreams.
Your smile vibrant and your eyes as green as emeralds.
Your voice as soft as a whisper.
You speak to me.
You tell me you love me and you can't live without me.
The day I met you was fate.
The day I fell in love with you was my destiny.
My heart is yours alone.
My soul forged with yours forever.
I'm yours always.
The winds of change are blowing fear not for they are good.
They carry my love where ever you shall go.
The raindrops that fall are my voice and they carry the message that you are not alone.
The sun shining on your shoulders is me smiling down on you and the moon in the night is my soul watching over your dreams.
For I love you now and until eternity.
Forever with you is where I shall be

I feel as though I'm losing my head
I cant breathe I can barely feel
I'm lost in a fog and I cant find my way home
I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore
I don't know who I am
A part of me is gone and I cant get it back
One part of me forgives you
The other part wants you to suffer
I deserve better and I'm worth more than you think
I have no regrets nor If given the chance I wouldn't take it back
Although I'm hurting I will get over this and become stronger
Then you will see exactly what you missed and You will think back
and speak these words "Look at what I let slip away."

(Most of my poems were posted on my blogspot account which I no longer use)

I'm drowning and I can't find the surface
The more I fight to breathe the harder it is to do so
The more I struggle the closer I come to death
I try and I try to reach the surface to see the blue sky but the more I fight the further I sink
My life is being pulled from me
My soul ripped away
The more I snort the further I go
The more I shoot up the closer I am to death
The more I use the more I need
**** coke and pills are my life
I pushed the ones who loved me away
I don't see the pain I'm causing them
I look in her eyes and I don't see her pain
She knows I need help but I keep using
She sees my addiction but I cannot
She loves me but is letting me go
What is my excuse
Why do I continue to **** myself
So many whys
So many questions
What would I see
If I could see myself in someone else's eyes
Would I like the person staring back at me
Would I see a strung out addict
Would I see a lost soul
So I'll snort one more perk
I'll smoke some more **** and
I'll shoot up some more *******
Because now they control my life



(this poem is about I guy I used to date we remained friends and his addiction was the inspiration behind this poem. Drugs and other substance abuse can really take a lot away.)

How I long to be free
Free to fly against the turquoise skies
Free to soar with the doves above the clouds of purest white
How I long to leave all this behind and dance on the ocean
How I long to be free and wake in the greenest of grass beside my everlasting lover
Free is what I long to be...........free..............
Free from the pain and the ever consuming thoughts
Free from the chore of living in reality
Free from the responsibly of worries
Free from the past
Free from the present
Free from the future
Just free.............

I was just a young girl
Carefree and high spirited
I was just a young girl
When a man took my pride
I just a young girl
Blaming myself
I was just a young girl
Who had no choice
I was just a young girl
Who seen his face every night in my dreams
I was just a young girl
Who would never forget his name
I was just a young girl
Who would never forget his face
I was just a young girl
Who would never forget his touch
I was just a young girl
Who got it all taken away
I was just a young girl
Whose mother blamed her
Just so you know
I didn't have a choice
He took all from me in just one night
I was just a young girl
Who hid it all away
I was just a young girl
Who rose from the ashes
Like a phoenix
With wings of fiery red
And a heart to move on
With the hope to trust again
Now I'm a woman
With nothing else to lose

Once many months ago there was a lonely soul who needed a friend
Once many months ago you gave up the hope you would find someone who cared
Once many months ago you sought to end it all
And there she came. A girl with eyes as green as leaves on the summer trees.
A girl with the heart made of the purest gold
She was as sad as the gloomiest weather.
She too was in need, in need of a friend.
Soon the friendship was inevitable.
Late night conversations and so many secrets that were told.
She became your best friend, and you hers.
Soon she started throwing herself away and selling herself short.
And you....you were engulfed in another.
Soon your feelings were made clear, but she was stupid, thinking she didn't want a relationship.
Feeling hurt and jaded, you said things that wished you hadn't
But little did you know she missed you. She couldn't understand what she had did wrong.
Many weeks passed and fate would have it you came back into her life.
Bearing apologies, but she had already forgiven you.
And soon enough the friendship blossomed into something beautiful.



(In my blog this poem was called "The Story" but I don't think that title suits it. So here I'm going to leave it untitled)