Rage?
Rage.
Rage!
Torrent of emotions within me.
Sways me back and forth.
Threatens my balanced poise.
Screaming?
Screaming.
Screaming!
Im asking why.
I dont want this.
I. dont. want. this.
I dont want to fight.
Yet. i say nothing.
I do nothing.
and then.
Numbing pain.
Helplessness.
I close my eyes to hide my tears.
Now's not the time to fall apart i say.
I check my pulses.
Listen to my own breathing.
Im still alive.
There must be a reason.
And I continue going about my day.

Desperate for the profound.
The deep and intense.
Revelation.
On the verge of breakthrough.
Its in my bones.
Not accustomed to the feeling,
Yet I welcome it.
Savour it.
It drives me.
Beyond insanity.
To a world of faith.
And hope.
I hope.
I hope in resurrection.
I breathe.
Because I have died.
Sometimes still.
And I hope.
I long.
For the deepest part of me to be satisfied.
Desperate.
Yet hoping.

Debilitating ways, our nature
In the mud of the world we trap ourselves
Absorbed in societal patterns
Childlike faith being shelved

An array of material beauty
A fleeting moment to bear
But soon it all vanishes
Like its worth, into thin air

Breathlessness. Grasping.
Regular rhythm an outstretch away
Yet within raptured moments,
Fickle pleasures, fade the grey.

Like a light switch not turned on
Not seeing what’s at stake
Barely realizing, the fading of the day
A drive to somehow partake

To be alive, to feel
The instant magical happiness race
Do we realize what that means?
Or is it life’s enforced face?

Mostly we need to wake up
Recognize the obvious hollow
Surely to be filled by that
and Who we decide to follow

Its simple yet complex
The very nature of our being
The paradox of life though
Is in the believing, not the seeing.

We throw around “I love you”
Like children playing catch
Disregard for incubated tenderness
Too impatient to let it hatch.

We throw it on the floor
***** with all kinds of mud
Disregarding potential growth
Limited as a spud.

We drag it in the dust
As if we never care
Hearts. Raw love. Precious.
Yet, not considered rare.

Perforated souls
Deadly games of fear
Initial intention: hope and love
Yet harbored pains appear

Yet smiles appear on every face
Pretending its all ok
Too hard to face true worth I suppose
So our hearts of love, become child’s play.

A common misconception
We believe the lies are true
But let’s review true treasure again
Let our understanding of love be new.

A breath of sober air
Filling the depth of my lungs
First in a while
Can't even call it denial

Blatant avoidance
Of sobering truth
Till one morning you awake
Wondering if it was all a mistake

The illusion
The freedom
The feelings of a happy place
The hiding
The playing
Closely laying face to face

Coz when the veil is gone
And mirror comes crashing down
Somehow one can't control
Tears, hurt, frowns

Yes. Pain.
you sobering fool
You ripped my heart
And tore it in two

You squeezed so hard
So your presence was known
suffocating indeed
I struggle to breathe

And yet I know
I have no one to blame
I gave you a key
So its all on me

And in the same breath
I could never regret
Yet its time that you leave
Give me back the keys

Give me back my joy
Give me back my smile
I will love forever
Even when I don't know how

I'm sober now
Not living a dream
Let the journey begin
Hoping love will win...

Broken hearts are crumbling
Young angels falling fast
These precious gifts don’t realise
They’re more than what has passed.

They’re hurting and crying
The pain filled eyes are haunting
Searching for a saviour
Because the world to them is daunting

Shattered tender hearts
So many times let down
An aching from the depth of them
Confusion brings a frown

Yet hoping and dreaming
They keep fighting to win the race
Determination for survival
Outweighs the fears they face

In a world so big and scary
Injustices are real
Adolescent minds are seeking
Answers to how they feel

My helplessness frustrating
Arms too short to heal
The surety of limitations
Threaten compassionate zeal

Unrealistic desire to free and save
Impossible to deny
But: “I believe you’re worth it, don’t give up”
Is surely the helper’s cry

Bottled up affection
So much more to give.
Bursting to just give it away
Much less than to receive.

A motive beyond selfishness
Logic seams protruded.
Less sensical to understanding,
Yet truly, eternally concluded.

Pivotal to our existence,
Impossible separation from our souls.
Loving another, only to love
Brazen faith like internal coals

A surrendering of hearts
Uncomfortable yet embracive
Doubts exist, but pale in comparison
Love being more persuasive.

The deepest truth
The greatest need
Saddest misplaced reality

Life long searching
Journeying toward
An unconditional love mentality