Please excuse my drivel of words as I ascertain my inexcusable lustless love life.
However,
humor me for a second…

But I’m looking for Miss Alabama Worley.
Mississippi Isabel,
**** it, Lady Macbeth would do.
That ***** knows crazy.
Where is the incomprehensible insufferable beast?
That will take my heart in one foul swipe and refuse
Me rest till I’ve given her lust the spearing of a hungry tribesman.
I want the lock and chain around my ***** because my naked vulnerability
Is hers for the taking.

Beat me,
Oh monstrosity of the bedroom
Let the blood drip as I lick your foot.
Indulge me with the endless sweat and tears of the night.
And **** me like a rock star
Till I taste the rubber.


Where is the whirlwind passion?
Love at first sight.
And not the giddy looks of something Michael Cera starred in.
I am talking tattoos on the first date,
Reckless marriage doomed by the 50 pound ring on her finger.
Put me in a ****** east end flat,
Let me starve because ******* is food for the brain,
And her ***** tastes delectable when I’m high.

**** my brother in our bed,
I never liked him anyway.
A best friend is a man who’s shared the same hole.
And trust me, we’re closer than ever.
You’ll be all I’ve got.
I’ll sleep on the couch and crawl back to you,
Because I'm wrong,
I am  always wrong.

Laugh at the scars on my wrists
Pity isn’t there for the taking.
Leave me shaking in the corners of my mind,
Let lust grow like anger and revenge
Let anger and revenge grow
When I go soft on you,
Put those cigarettes out on my chest,
And choke me; asphyxiate me from the inside out.
I want to burn in the hellish rapture
Betwixt your thighs.
******* fire in half an hour,
God knows where you got it from.
But those who care share, right?


But then,

Perhaps I’ll just end up like my parents,
Settle down with a nice girl.
A nice normal girl,
******* isn’t that bad I ‘spose.

You are only human,
You weep; I’ve seen you weep.
You have sick pleasures too, (we all do)
However I fear
Something is twisted inside of you.
But you, you also love.
You hurt too. On the outside and in,
Under your cold rough skin,
You’re as fragile as a lamb
And your hard exterior is flawed.
And with this shell, I am bored.
You are only human, derived from an ape
But that is all to clear, let the inner escape.
Because,
The simple fact you have raised a seed
Doesn’t make you infallible to misdeed.
It makes you human.
A basic primal responsibility
Is your foundation and only link to me.
Yet I owe you. You’ve been Nobel and you have worked hard,
And so I owe you, it has left me scarred.
That day, behind those eyes, you shed no tears,
My fears erupted in fathom of you’re monster.
Yet you are only human.
Your demons are repeated,
Don’t rise, remain defeated,
Soldier, Worker, father,
Or would you rather role model?
I cannot lie. Since the days of my toddle,
I’ve resented your sculpture of man,
Inaccurate brute, a man is a man.
You are only human.
You hold the right to be wrong,
Maybe you should realise that.
That you are not the all knowing,
You are only human.
Just like me.

I am a gorilla,
I am an ape.
And I’m trying to escape
This Golden Cage of youthful age,
I grace myself with the withering ineptitude
Of a penguin in commons.
I have the ambition of a pumpkin at Halloween,
That wants nothing more, than to be lit from the inside.
But my fiery breath is nothing more than whiskey
And cigarettes,
A lose regret of swollen knuckles,
Reminiscent of the iron age, I’m blowing off steam.
But it’s only condensed water on the inside of these windows.
Where the lights are off and there’s no one home.
Steve left me on the edge of moon rock,
A town that missed the stars of the night when they looked to sun,
So I sit playing ****,
Puffed out like a swan but,
I’m all neck.

I wear a leek with pride and Yes,
I am a dragon on match days,
With claws and shrills, and right I’m sky high,
Cutting through your fluffy clouds, soft and weak.
Copper clad in pennyworth jeans I never chose.
Flaws that will be the floor for me,
Because in my town we never heard of stepladders,
We reach for the sky by climbing hills on tip toes.
Mountains we made with mole hills
My mother wont let go.
With **** so deep even spuds wont grow.
Apologies like auburgines, may be good for you
But I don’t like the taste.
So I’ll continue to squash the marrow between my knuckles,
But you can go gaga if you want to,
Because, I was born this way.
Great pun.

I sit on the edge of nothingness,
With a ring piece from my last beer
Wrapped around my finger
Like a promise ring to my lowly wife.
So I spit blood at the moon,
Like a toothless wolf howling in blue,
I’m nothing more than noise.


I remember when the darkness first came
And you were my shining light,
Leading me through so effortlessly,
I’d follow blindly,
Chasing ecstasy.
But soon the walls grew too high
And now you’re nothing more than faint crumbs on the floor.

I said,
I love you so much I’d lick your feet.

she said,

that’s sweet, but please

don’t say that when you meet my parents.

I said I’d try to be normal

but it’s hard when you make me feel

like a cliche wrapped in roses

and all she knows is

that I can’t get enough of her,

if she’s in reach,

I have to touch her.

I’m not trying to be inappropriate

It’s just, you're my favourite.

Even you being a fidget

at 3am is worth it.

and I swear it’s true,

that when someone wakes me up stealing the blanket,

I’m smiling, because that some one is you.

yeah you're a bit of a *** pest,

but the *** is the best.

and yeah you constantly make fun of me,

but it’s cute that you think you're funny.

and yeah im being soppy and that

but you're used to me being a ****.

I say to you,

That to those you hate.

Give them a hug.

Not because they wont know what to do,

Or it’s confusing or peaceful

But because if you throw a punch, they might punch you back,

And with the retaliation in mind, giving a hug seems the best plan of attack…

I know I’d prefer a cuddle to a thump or a smack.

So hug them.

If you do hopefully they wont know what to do back to you

And ******* their mind by simply being kind

Is well, **** it.

It’s awesome.

We **** like hail,
When she opens heaven
All hell breaks loose.

Cold and fast
Hard and rough

But it always ends
As a ***** wet mess.

That’s right stare at the ceiling,
Close your eyes, pretend that there’s feeling,
Play the act; say that it’s good,
Do it how you know you should.

Blank your eyes, you cant feel the touch,
It won’t make a difference, matter much,
It’s what you wanted; your face said so,
One more time with feeling, let’s go.

When it’s done pick yourself up,
Smile like you mean it, vulnerable pub.
You done good kid, don’t tell your mum,
Your cant even cry, your empty and numb.

So I looked back and I saw, I saw what I’d never seen before.

Looking back on what was I often have a different view
Of what went on between me and you.
Raising question of which aren’t necessarily true.
You know,
I look inside with these jealous eyes
And start to pry at why I tell those lies.
To manipulate those around me
Use personal misguidance
To gain ahead to get to you in my bed,
And then, you’re in my head.
And you won’t leave.
I could try to forget you but that’s just you Inside me,
like I was in you. Like neither of us even knew what to do
Genital to genital a spectacle most awkward.
But after time we moved forward
And it got better.
I’m telling you this that from the moment that I met her,
It hit me like a fist to the jaw and the back of my head on the cold hard floor.
And all I could do was cry out for more,
The shock of that blow
Was only to show that there was something in there.
Like that time
Lying naked and bare I presented myself to you,
No words needed to be said, even if I tried they’d be suppressed by your bed.
Each blanket and pillow would swallow me whole
Hindering me from my final goal so I’d shut it. Close it and bury the lot
Be content with what I’ve got.
I never said how I felt cause you’re scary,
That’s right, you frighten me.
You still do so I was always useless to you.
I was an object.
A mere physicality a means to an end
Yet something you still had to hide from a friend.
Were you ashamed of us?
I know I’m not ideal with the abs that aren’t made of steel,
All my imperfections aren’t there to make you feel like a ******* Goddess
Still you don’t have to impress because I’m here.
But why am I here?
And I thought you were making it clear that time when you didn’t seem to care if your parents could hear.
Harder, faster, pull my hair
And I’d be praying to god that your dad weren’t at the bottom of that stair.
But when It was done that awkward silence was never fun,
It was never a breathless moment
Or a somber embrace, I could tell that much from the look on your face,
Like I had to leave,
So wiping the sweat from my brown with my sleeve
I’d get dressed, always knowing that you were less than impressed
With the moment that we were trying to conceive.
So what was that blow trying to show?
You know, that one from before with the metaphor about my head on the floor.
I might digress but Its only guess that there’s more to it than the ***,
See I met you when my brain was nothing more than brain stew
And so my heart latched on to you,
I did the best I could do.
Well that’s not entirely true but we do what we do.
I spent a lot of my life convincing myself  I’m a **** up
So maybe when the time came all I could do was get my **** up,
But that wasn’t enough, I mean it filled you but it didn’t fulfill me,
You see the point of that blow was to show
Not to you but to my ego
That if you label yourself as a five
You going to lose the drive to
Become the ten,
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again
I’m not beautiful, I’m suitable
Practical adaptable
And **** right Compatible
And It does matter still
And I mean it to, I’m saying it to you and you and you.
No one is better than the person you are
Beautiful is a word and to compare yourself to it is only absurd.
Embrace the face that your parents created
Because your image will never be out dated
It’s yours. I am who I am and you are who your are
This body may scar, and my tears may fall
But none of that even matters at all
Because I’ll find someone who will make me ten feet tall.
That man couldn’t be any nearer
One day he’ll be staring back in the mirror
With a smile so wide and a heart full of pride
That those eyes staring back are no longer tainted and black
But clear and blue and it will feel fresh and new.
But until that day I’ll continue with meaningless ***,
Alcohol and cigarettes,
sleepless nights and random fights
And all the other ******* that goes with it.
**** it.

The sun’s bright, even through my raybans
Old school and Black,
I found them at a party amongst some old cans,
Anyway, the sky is clear and bright,
Like the smile on my face and the glint in her eye.
Everything is good and I think maybe I’m happy
The sun makes her glow, sat next to her I’m one happy chappy.
She works the pout because the camera’s about
So I Smile, it’s effortless, it comes so naturally.
Everything is good and I’m thinking I’m happy.
A mouthful of that Sainsbury’s cider
And I’m thinking to myself I want to be inside her.
It’s cheap and has a strange tinge to the flavor
She’s looking at me I’m sure, god this tastes like feet.
But she’s all-sweet, one glance and I’m beat.
It’s all banter and larks from the boys,
Summer dress in February, summer joys
She talks of love and a broken heart,
I’m thinking this girl’s precious like a piece of art.
One of a kind like Mona Lisa
And I’m dying to please her.
Inadequacies kick in and I’m self-conscious again,
What if she likes big muscles, flat stomachs on her men?
**** it she’s here with me now,  
Some guy says something and she laughs,
That cackle that cry, now my minds in two halves.
****, he’s funnier than me, skinnier too,
Now I’m panicking, AH! What do I do?
She’s averts her attention back to me,
She catches me staring  so I look at a nearby tree,
Pretend to be in wonder, at least I stole his thunder.
She thinks it’s cute, if it works I’m not going to dispute.
But the next thing I know
Hours have passed and the suns gone down,
I’m still in sunglasses when we’re off in to town.
Despite the temperature drop, I don’t feel the cold,
Because holding her hand I’m back to 12 years old.
On the play ground and shy, running about like I’m a jedi.
Excitable, laughable and most of all Happy,
Nothing matters I’m care free
Free to be me, even if I did want to be Obi wan Kinobi.
She’s even more beautiful in the pastel orange glow,
The street light warms her face, my smiles still on show.
Beatles hit the nail on the head,
So we twist and shout till we’re talking of bed.
Talking with out words, because its her eyes that speak,
And I’m weak.
Embarressed at the prospect of what to expect
I look at the floor, then her eyes,
Oh God this is happening, I’m about to score.
The awkward thing is
I’m acting like nothing like this has ever happened before.
Im not saying I’m a *****,
just I wouldn’t complain if it happened a bit more.
God she’s Beautiful, and what was half is now full.
Her dress comes off and and so does my jaw
I could’ve rubbed my eyes red raw,
but I don’t
I appreciate every dent every shape,
Don’t get me wrong my mouth was still agape,
And something downstairs was trying to escape.
My hands tremble as I place them on her skin,
And we begin,
She softens my nerves with a kiss,
What more can I say… That night, was bliss.

Tom Sutton