A boy once jokingly asked me,
"If you could **** anyone in the world, who'd it be?"
It took me almost an hour to reply
because despite the question's joking nature,
the only answer I could think of was "me".

And he was beautiful
Within his scars
and within his bones
and within the labyrinth, his mind
There was a terrifying beauty
that she could never see or understand


She didn’t deserve to.

I'm sorry,
Because you loved me when I couldn't love myself
And yet I could never do the same for you.
I'm not capable of loving everyone,
I want love, but only if I get to choose.
And you probably know,
I never chose you.
I'm sorry.

HEART/MIND
You’ve read enough books to fill 7 billion minds
But the moment you lost yourself to his eyes -
Grey, blue, green, mixed and alone,
7 billion minds became one fleeting heart.

MIND/MATTER
They say, mind over matter
But how could that work
When you were everything that
ever mattered on my mind?

MATTER/INTANGIBLE
All that mattered, I could touch
Matter leaves and you become imaginary
Hurt wraps and coils
All that mattered, I cannot touch

INTANGIBLE/LOVE
Love is immeasurable, intangible.
Lies, lies!
It was as alive as my lips
when I traced your skin
Or your eyes
when you said my name.

LOVE/LOSE
Fighting a war neither side knew how to fight
Feel the hand that loved you
As it reaches out and takes your heart,
Crushing it slowly
No battle has finished but the war is done.

LOSE/LOST
I woke up at
0347
And I cried like
I had never cried before
Clawing at skin as though
It was diseased
For I was lost
And I had lost
And for the rest of of my life I knew I would
Lose

LOST/RECOVERY
It's learning how to stand again
Then walk,
then run.
But after you've lost, recovery doesn't always work
Sometimes Fate sticks her leg out
To watch you fall

RECOVERY/GONE
And you never get up from that place again.

I wanted to write
something that could capture
the way you held me
when I was scared of the dark
but also scared of
the flashing lights
that lit false paths.
Words to express
how much I appreciate
you
and everything you've done for me.
For you hid me from death
and protected me
when I deserved much less.
Something to show the world
that in dark there could be light
and that that light
was you.

The anger built inside me
That no one ever sees
It’s the speck of sand beside the sea
A single leaf among the trees

The loneliness taking me
That no one understands
Surrounded by all this fakeness
No true love; just one night stands

The pain slowly killing me
That no one ever feels
New wounds bleed and old scars ache
Marks that’ll never heal

The sorrow consuming me
That no one can ever sense
Tear stains upon a sheet
Two hands (destined) to never meet

I would like to remind everyone
that love is not a fairytale,
or a plot twist in a book or TV show.
It is as real as their warm body,
as it moulds together with yours.

There are no fireworks
or electric sparks when you kiss,
but your heart will pound and you'll briefly wonder
if they can hear your nervousness
as loudly as you can.

You'll love them
and they'll love you in return
for as long as it takes before it fades out
(if ever)
because sometimes it takes the dying of one love
to give way to something bigger and greater.

Never forget those you've loved before,
for that's the greatest insult of all,
worse than every curse and every heated fight.
To forget says that you never cared,
even when you were together.