Last night I felt the alcohol and darkness slither in again.
So I buried myself into a blanket burrito
and tried not to let the cold take over.
Soon however, it felt suffocating,
tightening around my arms and hands
whenever the night demanded blood and pain.
"I'm protecting you on his behalf," the blanket whispered,
as its warmth imitated his arms and lulled me to sleep.

A boy once jokingly asked me,
"If you could **** anyone in the world, who'd it be?"
It took me almost an hour to reply
because despite the question's joking nature,
the only answer I could think of was "me".

And he was beautiful
Within his scars
and within his bones
and within the labyrinth, his mind
There was a terrifying beauty
that she could never see or understand


She didn’t deserve to.

I'm sorry,
Because you loved me when I couldn't love myself
And yet I could never do the same for you.
I'm not capable of loving everyone,
I want love, but only if I get to choose.
And you probably know,
I never chose you.
I'm sorry.