in the dark my value haunts me.
"you're a worthless failure",
"you're never going to amount to much"-
those words attack on repeat
and are only calmed by a lover's touch.
but why don't you drive your daggers deeper
and reduce me down to a thoughtless weeper
who feels nothing but despair and deep, deep anger?
all from words from the one i call "father".
don't you see what you're doing?
don't keep coming for me, don't keep pursuing
me as your daughter! i know why i'm running
away from all the pain that you're causing.
don't try to repair it,
your damage is done,
and i'm gone...

When I first met you
I felt like I had known you forever,
telling you my secrets
and what I didn't want ever.
you listened to me
I bet you thought I'd never end,
who would have thought
we would become more than just friends.
Over a period of time,
I got to know the real you.
A boy so caring and gentle,
with a heart so true.
You've survived your life
with hurt and loneliness by your side.
I told you I'd never leave
because of the feelings I have inside.
I know you
like no one I have ever known,
and sometimes I wonder
what I'd do if you were gone?
So I have decided
time answers all.
If it is meant to be
time will remove the wall.
I love the way we are together,
you can always make me smile.
Will it ever really be forever?
I guess I will have to wait awhile.
Time will reveal, what lies ahead
but always remember
what I have said.
Meeting you has changed my life
and I really love you so,
the feelings I feel for you
I am never letting go.
Remember me always
and I will too.
I always think of
me and you

Water bottle and a candle sitting in the dark,
the room filled with heat,
so much energy vibrating in and out,
what is it that helps me stay focused.
The night is not as bright as a full moon would be,
but you can hear some kind of gloom.
Is it only because I only look at the negative things,
because all I think about are these stupid flings.
I can live life with no strings,
attached to my mind and just act like kings!
I should just stretch my wings, and fly maybe until I get to the Colorado Springs.
Does it really matter?
Because what im concerned with is being happy,
I shouldn't get mad if there is a challenge cause that just means I get to be a bit scrappy,
This is no reason to get all ******,
and make myself and the others around me unhappy.
I lived and I learned,
Sometimes in life you just have to be;
And not worry about how to get free,
No matter how bad you think you need to flee.
Because you learn that nothing is a guarantee,
So even if it feels like your emotions are falling out of your heart like a planed that crash and left debris,
Everywhere so everyone can just plainly see,
who cares just let it all oversee, that there is nothing **** wrong with being ARTSY.

Potted plant sways
Unrelenting dew
In a disquieted dawn
A sigil
A herald -- embodied
Gazing over the balcony.
Forlorn
Comprehensive  
Echoes

black morning- the birds fall apart
beyond the curtain, forgetting their lines,
and the regret hangs around my neck
like a talisman.

the knives are sound asleep in their
wooden block and, alas,
the gas still warms the house.
yes, this is clarity pressing her fingers
to my temples and lifting the fever
of earthworms and giants.

your face still haunts me
but only in the dark womb of sleep,
that cruel temptress.
you come like a shadow and
I am dressed in black, patiently
waiting to consume you.

clarity comes upon awakening,
when I discover how easily the dirt
and grit of your smile
washes away.

c'est la vie,
I can stand on solid ground.

see how dubiously they hung
at the fairness of sky
and you thought they 'll be there for long
but you will force to believe a lie

and how gently do they drift
from the fondness of the heart,
but you 'll never know they are gift
hovering atop the shadows of man

But still they will disappear
like false friends during harmatan
and reappear like monks in dispear
shading the sun like minds over matter

clouds they are as we belive,
but they also could be dust
that sprinkle down the lust of eve,
it blind us to the worst

they are always there
disgusing with every weather
but once a closer look you bear
then you see the fact of life wonders.

All rights reserved.

history can be a mystery
to those who do not know it,
and, thus, our decisions are
made in ignorance, and we
repeat it,
repeat it,
repeat it...

I

Disaster
Your breath broken
What else could I do
This barrier came from no where
and with gentle trembling hands
I pounded at it
Fully aware and totally uncertain

My hand on your knee
It felt nice
the first touch

II

A secret
More like an idea
not even a possibility
personal, never hinted at
you were never supposed to know
but we always knew
and wanted to let it out
festering inside me
though I hushed it
I wanted to know your secrets
and the grown-up drinks drew the courage out of me
instantly
light poured onto everything
I could hear you smile
I froze
"When we talk on the phone sometimes I--"

III
"People who have people
are the worst kinds of people"
I said it, and I meant it and you hated it
I just didn't understand.
I hope you can forgive me.
I had never known that love
until you sought another
How fickle I am

Oh but the terrible sweetness
of your fingertips on my waist
to move me out of the way
to see her

IV
Entangled in your wild youth
spiraling downward
I watched you slip
and wepted for you, my friend.
enveloped in fear

You left

I waited

and you won

an embrace
a kiss
Your fingers tracing shapes on my thighs
until you touch me.

V**
We're the worst kind of people.