Life's not fair, never was, never will be
Choose your opponent choose your difficulty
There's a reason for easy medium and hard
To test the waters, then break the limits
Or be beaten by life's tedious gimmicks

In a different place and a different time
I'd find your smile, that pale soft face
The cold hard truth is, I'd follow you down
To the ends of this world, to the end of my rope
I'm all for serious, I'm funny but this my dear is no joke
I'd hold your hand the whole way just to hear you say you need me

Where have you gone, where do you go
In the nights and hours I need you the most
Nobody cares and nobody knows
But to me you're nothing more than a ghost

I Promise I won't say a thing
Just come sit, let me push you on the swing
Share a laugh or two once more
Stay out late, use the back door

We could venture the night, brave our hardships
Solve all our problems with a little hard work
We can work it all out, there's no doubt about it

I did follow one time, and i'd sure do it again
Leading never been my preference but someone had to do it
No need to think no need to worry
React on command, speak when spoken
too many people take the easy way out
But once in a while there is one
Ready to put the team on their back
But why?
To feel superior? To hog the attention?
Or inspire others to lead rather than be lead?
Maybe we should all take a second to think
Why follow when you know it doesn't go anywhere?

Empty promises
Nothing more than words to give
When it's your time I want
But like time itself it waits for no one, and neither do you

Full of false hope like filling an empty glass with air
Nothing to show for only excuses that echo and repeat themselves
Like history, but to a lesser extent and lesser importance

I've been done for a while
unconsciously fighting a battle I cannot win but will not lose

It's so easy to say goodbye
Instead you look me in the eye
Lying your alternative to a much simpler farewell
You want, gimme gimme, always gets...when I love you
The other way around is a whole new double standard yet to be recognized
It's only fair to give what you get
Let's all be stingy and only get from the givers
We're all hoarders in some area, a little sick, a little selfish
Sometimes it hurts just to be selfless

Watching her bud like the flower she always was
I enjoyed for myself because
No one else saw the beauty waiting to emerge
Now they all see a bouquet for the taking
Like a regular valentines day they all flock like seagulls
I stop in to water her every now and then
I should have used pesticides...

If I start to fly will my worries gravitate towards the sun?
Can I just get away to a place that doesn't exist?
Does a cave keep out the bad sounds and rebound it onto my enemies?
Will I work for the dark where no one can see my misdeeds?
Could I be the difference between life and death if I am no where in sight?
How can I see the end coming from the beginning?

Round and round here goes nothing
I sent myself on a journey for something
They say kick your legs and paddle your arms
I thought this would be easier
I feel like I've been drowning for years
In the vast space that is my mind
Thoughts fill my lungs like fluid
But why do I keep opening my mouth?
Now I pay the price, my thoughts submerge me
I reach for help, with a snap, they desert me
I think too much, and the flood gates are open
But my thoughts remained kept to myself
Unable to float, I'm sinking again

I stared at the empty seat, nothing to hide
I feel so **** lonely without someone here by my side
My eyes become watered, but not filled with tears
A drop of sorrow mustered, but not shed
Time spent thinking rather than doing, wasted
What I want I can't have but we all covet that the most
A sick twist of fate or a game we all play
We all have to learn how to stand and walk on two feet
Better start crawling

Invisible chain
Trapped by the hand that feeds me
Weighing me down, slowly pushing the life out of me
Everyday a new chance to leave it all
But I chose to endure and thrive
To break and earn my release from the chains that hold us down
Sink or swim we pick one everyday
I'm not Michael Phelps, but I sure do earn my gold everyday
I take a 9-iron to my problems everyday knock em out the park
Never a straight shot or a hole in one
Always a challenge not so much fun
We have our moment with the hand that feeds us
Let's hope it's not more than we can chew

There was a time I use to dance
To the beat of our hearts in the night
It felt so right, under the covers, felt so right
But now my feet don't move for no one else..
Sad feet with no tune to jitter bug
And I thought I knew the feeling called love
I'll never let my heart do the talking
Loud mouth...

It's just better with more than one
All alone, nights spent, it isn't fun
The character brought out by the crowd
Hidden inside yourself unable to emerge
From time to time, that character slowly fades away
A part of you, the better you, the you that you want to be
Can't find a window to look through, better grab the windex
Because at this point a nice clear view is more than needed
Direction much advised
Friends are forever, don't let the inner you die.

I am the only one who can hate me
No one can know me better
Or hate harder on me than I
These times are tough
Some days man, I've just had enough

I often wonder how I'll "go"
Quick? Painless? In pieces?
My heart seem to be in the rut
Small, shattered to bits.
I can't feel my heart beat, unless I feel pain
But when I feel pain, the thoughts come rolling in...
Full of doubt, exuding sin

Nights;sleepless
Fights;enticing
Why everything that's supposed to be bad make me feel so good?

It's hard to stay relevant
That's why I'm running low on friends
I leave myself open for them
But really I do it for me
So I can tell myself I matter
But does it really?
Like a jar you need someone else to open
It's always easier the second time around
When you loosen your grip like the cap of the jar
It's easier to see who your friends are
Take it easy you can't be liked by all
"A friend to all is a friend to no one."
Makes sense, you can't be everyone's friend
You have to pick and choose
In the game of life it's win or lose

Vanity

Take your pick, you know you slick but what would you do to get it?

Trust

Have you had enough? Do you give  a ****? or is it just my luck?

Promises

What are they to you? Just one or two? You're on the run for breaking them all.

No reply
Out of tries
I close my eyes

Everything seems to disappear when my eyes close
A place where only I know
What is real, and what can't be reality
A place where I only exist and no one can be mad at me

Through thick and thin, I'd still let you in...
No one knows me like you not even myself
It's like I were a book, and you took me off the shelf

But I hate you, how can I deny..
I can't stand the sight of your absence, why do I even try?

Hope, a funny thing you can't see or touch
But it gives you something a little, not much

Bang my head on the wall
Just to forget it all
Nothing seems to fit
Like a puzzle piece out of the mix
I can't handle this struggle alone
I need to borrow your strength
To dig me out of this hole
Full of sorrow and problems galore
Without you it feels like a chore
Going down my list to see if I have the problems
Solutions no where in sight, no way to solve them
You held the remedy, the cure, the key
I make a scene no one to look and see
Why did you leave and not leave with me?

What we want and need
We differently perceive

I want you, but you don't need me
Hardly even want, cold reality
But giving up is not my mentality

Finishing what I started, quit not in my vocabulary
Persistence and commitment it's what I do
For the things that I do are not for you
For you it's a show and for me it's a game
To play it well for me, just to get you? What a shame.

What we need we cast aside for menial possessions
When wanting possesses us we lose our directions
Too stubborn to stop and ask on the road
I wish I could welcome you to my humble abode

She could see right through me, X-ray vision
She made up her mind
I made a decision
I ain't going back, like I just got out of prison

Her eyes screamed "**** me" you can just tell
Her body so slender
Yeah I'm going to hell
Her hand inched onto my belt buckle, well

Here's how it happened, practically a fantasy
All my moves predicted
But she didn't care she wanted me
I saw that and I kept on going because I wanted to see

Where I'd end up, her room, her bed, her mini pink
It's not hard to see where this is going but I was..
My brain shut off no more room to think
The air clouded my mind and the lust didn't

But instead rose to new heights, ******* euphoria
We rolled off the bed and on to the floor with her
It felt too real for this to be such a vivid dream
The sound of her pleasure practically a scream

Lucid dreamer, I've longed for this power
Even if the dream lasts a minute, it feels like an hour

She knew I wasn't there to make a friend
She knew what I wanted from start to end
The look in my eyes, the language from my body
She knew I was looking for another girl who was naughty
I had the steps to get what I wanted
She wasn't digging what I flaunted
I had a system all set up, practically cash
She threw a curve ball, system crash
What she wanted she didn't play around this
She skipped my steps and went straight for that kiss
It's what I wanted this whole time
Valentines Day will you be mine?

Ever looked at the sky?
And wonder why?
Up so high
Beyond sight of the human eye

Just why is the sky?
Why can't I drink from your beauty
And share your nectar of elegance with the world

This world needs a mother natures touch
Oh sky I don't ask for much
Show me the ways of the soft blue sky
Make me wonder, wonder why

Have you listened to the sound of the crowd?
Of course you did, too loud to be ignored
Nothing but harsh words to keep you  from what you love
Whether it be friends, status, or even relationships
The crowd controls the water your ship is sailing on
Never smooth the current always against you
You can't help but pull back
"Don't tread on me"
You know they will.
Trust real people, the crowd ain't no one
But many made up of a lump some

Smile, malevolent
I heard you were trouble, but with me it's double
I couldn't stay away if you paid me
I'd pay to call you baby

Yea I heard you were trouble
I want to share your pain
No pain no gain
I might be insane

To think this would ever work again
It doesn't work now and didn't back then
Membrane, must refrain from making this choice in vein
Insanity ward pass on the word you didn't hear this from a little bird

Yea I see your success,
But no no I won't get jealous
Yea dude, yea I see you schemin'
But you can't knock me down I'll keep on dreamin'
With the power of words, words over power
No note of mine will ever be sour'
I'll sing of the day I make it big
Victory sippin' time to take that swig

Loyalty is not easily bought, or can even be priced
Admiration doesn't come easily either
But if you think you're the king of the jungle
And you have the loyalty of a dog
Friends and accomplishments can be achieved with much more ease
For having somebody to lean on doesn't make you weak
You just admit that from time to time we all need a bit of help
Not relying on people to solve your problems
But having friends to help you resolve them
Pay no heed to ones confidence but to ones actions
For a time may come where every moment in your life become only reactions

It's no surprise or mystery
I've checked you out, like a book...about history

Those eyes, they repeat themselves
Just like stocking books on the shelves

That look I've seen it before
Like a late night knock as if my window were a door

That smile though was nothing I've seen before
Like a drug, I had to have more

Feeding your brain to produce a smile
Half the time it was quite the trial but no error

I wanted nothing more than to see you happy
But even more to just have you look at me

I've held my hand out to you too many times before
That smile repeating itself like everything I've seen
No more...

Things that never happened
Will always be the worse in my book
From the chances never taken
But the ones I should have took
I looked at you and you didn't look back
We started talking but I lost track
Invited you over you have an excuse
I might be holding your hand, but I'm holding it loose
There was a time I'd look at this life like a noose  
Ready to hang it all up just to call it quits
To stay strong I need you to need me
It's the one thing a blind man or woman could see
This whole time you've been like sand in my hand
The harder I try to hold you the more you slip away

What is a world without being judged?
Without competition or criticizing?
A world where there is no room for improvement
Everything is set in stone, not perfect just you take what you get and deal with it
Where there is no place to showcase your true potential?
No rhyme or reason to try
Less amazing things happen, maybe even nothing spectacular going on
A place doomed for rebellion, implosion
A stack of cards with no foundation, just ready to cave in
A world without love, or feelings
It all dwindles down without one another
One thing could be missing and change it all
And our society would be a soso-ciety

My mind travels to the darkest depths within itself when I've got the time
Time I've got now it has me
Stuck in the grasp of that which cannot be reused
I've become it's personal charger
A slave of time caught somewhere with my toes in its sand
In awe, time has its way with all of us
Nothing to be done, so much to be seen
The end of time never sounded so lovely

These tired eyes have closed
To dream of better days, better times
"One day I will get out of this god forsaken place"
Too many times I've had egg on my face
I've always been lost in reality but the gravity is much worse
No choice or chance for me to grab, we can't all be winner eh?
In my head is the safest, come take shelter
For reality comes knocking with much more than harsh words
Choices to make no time to waste
Time to get out of this god forsaken place
Off to the land in my head safer than a fallout zone
No trouble in sight, in my head...all alone

I'm so high it gets me off
Clouded judgement, instant gratification
No worries no troubles just eyes glazed over looking like bubbles
Clear as glass my choices too
From your hand to mine yea from mine to you
Spit fire back and forth
The fun only gets louder from here
Imagination takes over words become useless
Ride the sounds, let them take you away
Forever  lost in this high today

No time to bleed, to wait and see
What you're trying to hide, just want a peek inside
Don't wanna rush, push, or shove
Don't gotta show me no love
Just don't keep me on the counter, and forget about me
An old game you don't play, gathering dust, stored away
Stop taking pieces of who I was, to build who I am now
No clue how to feel, if this is real
We've grown too similar it's pushed you and I away
Take it from me stay away it will bring us closer apart
The further you are away the more I can feel my heart

What war are you waiting for?
Building up your walls to prevent me from storming them
Have a torture chamber ready for the first to care
Guns ready to shoot off in defense against your weakness
Moats to be filled by your tears over the years
Let down your gate and let me walk in
I promise to turn this castle of emotion
Into a warm beach with a view of the ocean

When you start-stop a thousand times
can't think straight or throw down a decent rhyme
Rage quit give up on the spot
It's easier than to finish?
Yea I think not.

Just sit me down, put a drink in my hand
Social drinkers, half sober people
It brings us together for a time and a half
My drink is half full let's all fill it up
We drink to remember not to forget
the memories and times we shared, we lived, regret....
Just take it easy, have a sip or two
You'll feel better once we get a drink in you.

Just forget about everything you ever wanted and want me
Have every bit of energy to be spent on me...with me
Lose your ambition, lose sight of your goals
Your morals belong to me, intertwine our souls
Two becomes one, doesn't this seem like fun?
A little game I've created, no where to hide, to run
I'll take you down a peg before you know
Is this really love, or just a really funny way to show it?

Take a step, but look out below
I wanna know all the secrets trouble knows
I'll fill your head with lies and fairy tales
Just to see what I can get out of you
I know what I want, and what you want
To turn it into a personal game, to watch the lies build this foundation
Nothing to gain, to win, to lose
What I want stands here in a deep and heavy mist only true evil and sinners can penetrate
Misery may love company but evil just the same.
Take my hand, let me control you and what you feel
I fear these lies have caught up with me, like the underdog in their element
I bid you a farewell, but know I will be back.

The whole time I've been scared
Not knowing if I'd be here tomorrow
So I smoked it..
Fuzzy memory, smoked to the nth degree
So high, so high
Our minds touched the sky
Raining down thoughts of who I was and what I wanted
Far gone, Far forgotten
It didn't do much, few laughs here and there
Got **** to do, but I didn't care
I had my chances, burned all my  bridges
Up in smoke, unclear; my path ahead
Sifting through I push on, what do I see?
The end of the road; the end of me
Will it come down to this?
Death's holding my hand, but I'm holding it loose
Inhale the dark and free your mind

In my mind, you're the shadow in the background
Always lurking around seeing what it is that makes me tick
Just waiting for the right moment to set me off
Burning a hole through my skull like hot sand on bare feet
Setting up shop and selling my secrets
For your own personal amusement, despite our status
Psychedelic, without a trip
This reality feels less than real, flawed; overrated
But I still feel, and you forget that
I settle for less than my best because of you
Be happy, just know now I won't be around
All these years stepped all over, demeaned
I still ask, don't you want what I want?
Yes, I still have a heart, what's left of it

I'm not scared of you...
I just don't know what to say
I see you walking toward me...I see you on your way
I..I...My heart starts to beat faster
Your beauty my obsession
Wanting every fiber of your being...
Wanting...
Needing...
The idea of you...
Gets me so high
You and me
Our bodies melt into one
our minds in the sky
All I ever do is think, think, and over think
How come I'm afraid of you, and you aren't afraid of me?

To be or not to be*
I see you, you don't see me
I wait while you scurry
I don't want to bother you, but I want you to bother me
Should I call, can I text?
No reply for days on end
This aching heart, your hand I hold in my head over and over
over, I wish you would come
You know my feelings, no reaction
But no not this time I demand satisfaction.

I'm mislead to where I want to be
Why are you so afraid to accept me?
You fear the future and I hate the past
I can't catch a break if you keep telling me it will never last
I wait and wait on your prolonged replies
I run my hand...down your face, was this fate?
Time of death 9:58...

The shadows that fall onto me
Where I'm going there won't be any light
Where will my shadow fall?
Will I be followed?
The little voice speaks to me out of curiosity I humor it
What if my shadow were to disappear?
Will the little voice pass on my words?
To find a shadow, an uncertain conquest
The shadow in the background of the alley
I follow, without hesitation.
The voices and shadows guide me
Where had my shadow gone