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 Sep 2013 Tiffany Marie
Chris
My eyes have been dry the past few days,
my mouth too.
I’ve been wearing my glasses more
and drinking too much water.
Is it possible to drink too much water?
Some say you can never drink too much.
I’m not sure.
All I know is that I can’t dilute
the concentration of you in my blood.
It’s become too thick.
I’ve been tripping over cracks and
folded carpet corners that don’t exist.
I’m not sure how I find my footing again
with the pounding in my head
and all the silence in my bones.
It’s the kind of silence I wish
I could share with you.
I’ve been tripping over myself,
like there’s knots holding me together.
And I’ve seen your fingers tie knots before,
how you delicately labor over each one.
How the perfect amount of string
is always left over for them.
I’ve seen you tie knots before,
because you’ve tied them with my heart,
and I don’t think they’ll ever come undone.
Oh, I don’t think they’ll ever come undone.
Like a messaged bottle patiently paddling ashore,
My love eternally yearns to be read from your sandy fingers.
And if nothing else,
Let the tongue of the waves swallow me whole
only to reveal my love as deep as the ocean’s floor.

And if nothing else,
may the foreseeable crack of this see-through-canteen
breed a new beginning of shredded glass.
Let it crash into cobble stone thrones
to have its remnants slowly be soothed, smoothed
and scattered amongst the sand dollars.
If nothing else,
Let them be picked, piece by piece by
the wandering,
the curious,
and the kind collectors who stash them in their sea-green dining rooms.
Let them rest amongst the plethora of previous lovers
and reflect their eternal light from dining room windows.
 Sep 2013 Tiffany Marie
M
Maybe my mistake
Wasn't keeping everything inside
Maybe it wasn't sleeping all day
   or drinking by night
Maybe it wasn't caused by the blade
   or the puking or the 85 pills

I think it was the "I love yous" that became
   said (and heard) too often
Simply because people were told that they
   needed to make up for the first 16 years
I think it was the heart-to-hearts often taking
   place at 2am
And being taught to have faith in others  
I think it was the hugs that were the worst
   since they were given so that they would no longer
   feel foreign as they once had

For I am not supposed to be as  fragile as I
   was reshaped to be
I am not supposed to be filled with false
   hope or urgent voices saying "it gets better"
Pain isn't always temporary
Although joy often is
Maybe if I had been enlightened with these truths
   instead of taught ignorance through those lies
Then things would be different

(But my only fear
is would they?)
-
People will forget
what you say and do
but will remember
how you make them feel.
 Jun 2013 Tiffany Marie
kenzo
She was 17
He was 19
She kept to herself, head always buried in a book
He broke hearts and caused trouble
They met at a train station
She was sitting on the bench, clenching a book
He was leaning up against the brick wall
eyes on his watch
waiting for the train
so he could meet his dealer
The roar of the train echoed in their ears
She got up
Her brown hair blowing back in the wind
He saw her from the corner of his eye
She began to walk towards the train
book still in hand
sun shining through the white lace of her flowing skirt
His eyes stared her up and down now

She begins to run
her light black sandals picking up pace
not even realizing it,
He begins to run too
heart beat rising in his throat
It was as if an angel had slowed down the train
or time itself
She feels the warmth of his arms around her
the trains engine screams at her
He pulls her back, holding her close
they collapse on the platform
watching the train fly past on the tracks
tears fall from her eyes
sparkling like tiny diamonds
He calms her down, brushing the hair out of her face
softly saying in her ear
"shh. you're okay. you're okay."
People talked frantically
dozens of eyes on them
The book she was reading only a feet away
She stops crying for a second
and looks into his blue eyes
He looks back into her light brown eyes
"Why did you save me? Why didn't you just let me go?"
Red and blue lights flash in the background
He feels a warm sensation in his heart
"You wouldn't have known who you would have fallen in love with
and I wouldn't have gotten the chance to buy you coffee"

That, my darlings
is how my Grandmother and Grandfather met
and still together till this day.

proof:
love is timeless
 Jun 2013 Tiffany Marie
Redshift
tonight i
lost it a little
and it's not even night
it's morning
just to be clear

start over...

this MORNING
i
lost it a little
and i don't know
how to be better

i talked at a white shining light
on my computer
i vented
at a webcam
for thirty minutes
and i looked myself in the face
and tried to tell me it'd be alright
but the words choked me
and i couldn't
get them out

and im not trying to be an overdramatic
*******
a whiner
or a ****** kid
i just have abandonment issues
and cutting
and wantingtodietoomuch
issues
and i feel like everyone is biding their time
waiting
to leave me
and i feel like
i can't sew up the child-sized holes
in my dad's heart

and it's ******* father's day
and i can't even do that
i can't ******* replace
the nine other kids
that should be here
i can't make up for that
i am just
one person
one daughter
and i cannot make my daddy
better
and i
hate
it

happy
*******
father's day
i can't make anything better. i can't even make me better. but i have to stick this **** out so my family isn't destroyed again.
 Jun 2013 Tiffany Marie
Tori
Tea drips on pages filled with your thought,

happy and pensive, and demons to be fought.


Tears fall on pages filled with hopes,

stupid boys and breaking hearts, strung together with ropes.


Ink stains on pages, mapping out your life,

your triumphs, your failure, your pleasures, your strife.


Write your soul,

Sing your pain.

Forget your critics

and just watch what you’ll gain.
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