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wren cole Dec 2020
I exist
With you and for you and beside you
Call and response, comfort and performance
I exist as your lover, I exist on your arm, I hide behind you
I am in your messages and behind your screen, in your passenger’s seat, on your mom’s couch, in your bedroom
“I exist, I am.”
I try to end it there, say it like a full sentence.
I exist, I am,
In my art, in my thoughts, in my wholeness.
I am not an accessory, a conversation, for entertainment value,
I can and do and am allowed to exist outside of you.
I exist, I am, and I may be.
There is no guilt in this.
Written following a conversation. I am still learning that setting boundaries is okay. Taking alone time is not neglect. Living with my partner does not mean I lose myself.
wren cole Oct 2020
Garden gate yawning open, you step out into a world that hasn't quite awoken
The sleepy light of dawn to warm you, the morning dew cool on bare feet
I dream of walking in the Earth's gentle arms
Before she stretches off her sleep
In this quiet sort of patience, the world seems so at peace
i miss when i was younger and i would just stay up all night and go for a walk at dawn and everything seemed so silent
wren cole Aug 2020
a vicious desire
i want to be so fragile you could knock me over with a touch
isn't that what beauty is?
maybe if you peeled my tired, withering body off the floor
i could be worthy of your love
half rotting and collapsed in your arms
i could finally be beautiful when my ******* and thumb touch
wrap my arms around my stomach and beg the sky to fall so i don't have to do this anymore
and something laughs in my head, says i can't even get this right
if you can't even see i'm sick it doesn't count, right?
so this doesn't count
my brain is being bad today
wren cole Aug 2020
pale and shuddering hands
that trace over you like a whisper
bluebird veins in paper skin
a beauty so delicate you could crumble it in your hands
how people love what they can break

i am no flower, i apologize
the materials of my making are thicker but i promise you they are still so soft
surrounding
i envelope you in a warmth that means love
and could you love me
if i don't fall apart beneath you?
could you love me
if i do not dissolve?
can i still be beautiful?
can i be beautiful? can i be beautiful?
i have a hard time letting myself be loved.
wren cole Aug 2020
i came into this world kicking and screaming,
but ever since then i've been dreaming.
i think i'd rather keep my eyes closed.
i think i'd rather sink right down into the earth.
it's actually rather comfortable in the dirt.
i feel at home laying in a field,
somewhere where the world feels real
and things make sense
and things are quiet.
i can listen to the birds and rest a while.
it's so hard to get any rest out here,
the lights are too bright and my blood roars in my ears.
i want to go back home where we all came from,
find an open field somewhere
and maybe i'll rot and maybe i'll starve but by god i'll be happy,
i'll be free,
and maybe somewhere out there i'll find me.
i think i'm lost in all the sound, i think i get lost in translation
i think the world is just too loud and we're so caught up in ourselves we forget to breathe
i feel like i've forgotten how to breathe
i want to find a place where i can breathe
i hate living in an industrialized, capitalist world bro i just wanna go decompose <3
wren cole Jan 2020
if a devil plays by all the rules
if he loves and cries and discovers
if he chooses to do good
if he puts himself after others
and if he cuts his horns and tells the truth and prays before bed every night
can he ever be a saint?
wren cole Jan 2020
men in my family age into monsters
with calloused hands, callous words, and cold shoulders
sometimes i can feel my lungs cloud with the smoke i've been fed from birth
and i just want to let it fill me
i've been keeping carefully in a cage for so long
but sometimes i wish the scream would tear me up
roughen up my polished parts and spit my senses
let me be angry without tears, without guilt
my teeth are too sharp in my mouth, my head is too heavy
let me tear it all to pieces and ruin me
i have tried so hard not to be another monster but god sometimes i want to be
stupid, sick, and angry
if i am made of thorns and silver then let me be sharp and deadly
i am a fire by nature and warm by choice
but hell, do i want to devour
and hell do i want to become
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA anyways
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