I think I really forgave you this time
But you still find your way into my mind
Linger somewhere deep in my thoughts
And I wonder if you'd be happy with who I am today
And I wonder if you'd be proud of the change I'm trying to make
And I think about those nights we spent talking through the dark
And I wonder if you ever think of me where you are
I am a better person, now, I stand a little taller
I wonder if you'd like me now that I'm a little stronger

You are in the passenger seat of your best friend's car. Souls you love so, so much are with you, howling like wolves to the radio from the back seat. This is your pack all together. You feel connected, like a single string is tied to each of your hearts. The windows are down and the city is asleep as you fly down the highway, but the music and spirits are high. An unimaginable number of stars swims in the thick black inky sky. It's midnight but you are not tired and you have no where to be. You can sleep when you need to; for now, you're wide awake and buzzing, swelling, about to burst with this feeling. The pack howls along to songs about this, this very moment -- About experience, about connection, about raised voices and pounding hearts. This is the feeling of being alive. It is all you need, and all you've ever known.

My mind consumes my reality
I absorb stories into my skin
I breathe escape
What do you do when the worlds in your head eat away at your life in the world outside?
Indulging in fantasy comes before school, work, or sleep
I do not live in this world
I exist within it
My heart and mind are elsewhere,
Places this vessel cannot travel
Places where this world doesn't exist
To beautiful worlds I go
And in beautiful worlds I stay
While this body is left behind
As I let myself decay

Something's gone
Ripped out of me sleeping
Someone put me out
And the smoke is filling my lungs

Our carbonated hearts beat neon
We tear out into the melting scarlet sky as it spills onto candied clouds
The birdsong resonates within me
All life, all energy, everything
It somehow all leads back to your hand in mine
Our feet echoing bare against the cold pavement
You are the sun that rises to warm the earth
I am moon in waiting
We break the peace with our laughter
We are the morning glory

I am wasting
You can finish the phrase any way you like, it will be true
I am wasting my
Time, potential, life
I am wasting your time, your concern
I am wasting resources, waste of oxygen
I am laying here in bed wasting time on fussing over wasted time
A cycle that only ever endlessly repeats itself
I cannot get back the time I spend thinking about time and how I spend it
My life is drip drip dripping away, spilling from a paper cup with only so much still inside and I am tipping it, drip dripping away

I am wearing his marks, his sweater but I am not his boy
He tells me without wanting to tell me, he tells me with the collar tucked under my pillow, with his mouth fresh on my skin
And this is not to say he does not love me but he cannot be this
And I am trying trying trying to be okay while my chest busts open, while the bruises feel like burns
I know he doesn't want to hurt me but I feel like scrubbing my memories clean, taking steel wool to the inside of my skull, cleaning up the vulnerability I've shown, scratching it out
My eyes sting, my chest aches like he's gone- he's not, he's right here, it shouldn't matter,
But I adoringly opened a particularly delicate part of my already fragile heart for you, my love
I am not mad I am not angry I swear I am just so hurt I was so scared and I was right, dear, I was right,
I always have been and always will be an overdose of a person, there will always be a part of me too tough to swallow,
Foolishly, I still wanted to give you all of me
And it hurts, it hurts