tell me how to write
the gnats out of my skull
the static from my fingertips
the fire from my veins
the infection from my wounds
tell me how to write
you out of this body

when you hurt me
I spit venom
Make myself a barrier
Of vines and thorns and roses
I will burn bright, neon anger
Passion poison
Callous caution
I will shut down, shut off, shut you out, anything to get away
I won't be hurt again

when you cut me
I bleed candy
let you walk all over me
repeating I love you I love you I love you
gooey bright pink on the pavement
bubblegum bruises
sugar sweet scars
I will do anything, anything, anything not to lose you
I will rot your teeth

you are just a child
and the world is not out to hurt you
darling, darling, please
slow down and take the love in
you are young and beautiful and reckless
no where near wise
far from invincible
you are running, flying away into the sound of your own voice
telling you you are so close to the sun and
you can't wait to burn bright and beautiful and turn to ash
but the sun feels much nicer from the ground, oh, the sun feels much nicer from the ground
we are not made to live like bullets
you have blood on your casing and much of it is your own
you tell me you know best as you hold your gun to your temple and yell
fire away, fire away

It is the beginning of June and I am alone again
Sitting in my bedroom wishing I was anywhere else
And I could use a little magic, a little adventure
A little bit of the way things were back before I moved and everything changed and everything drifted
A little bit of Arizona heat and tired legs
Walk all over creation, push you in a shopping cart
I've gone so pale since I moved here, I hardly get out in the sun
It's not the same without Candlelight Park and my favorite tree and the familiar streets and you
My best friends, oh god my best best friends
I miss that and I miss there and miss us
And time keeps barreling forward
And you're somewhere, not beside me
And my voice is lost somewhere in Colorado

I am losing you
I never wanted to lose you
I am angry I am scared I and waiting
Waiting waiting for the axe to drop
I am trying to act tough
I am trying not to care
I am trying to brace myself
Cut things off early,
Let's not drag this out any longer
I can't take another drawn-out heartbreak
Wondering over and over if it's okay,
If it's okay to talk to you,
If it's okay to love you anymore

RIP MY HEART OUT OF MY CHEST
I DON'T WANT TO BE SOFT ANYMORE
I DON'T WANT TO LOVE YOU
DEEP, DEEP LIKE THE OCEAN
COVER MY SKIN IN SCAR TISSUE
AND DRAIN THE ROSEWATER FROM MY EYES
IT HURTS HURTS HURTS AND IM SO TIRED
TIRED OF CHASING MY TAIL AND CHASING YOU
FOR ANY SENSE OF COMPANIONSHIP, OF CONNECTION
BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND TO BE ALONE IN THIS WORLD
AND I THOUGHT MAYBE WE WERE SOMETHING GREAT
I WANT TO FORGET THE WAY MY SOUL LIGHTS UP WHEN I MAKE YOU LAUGH
I WANT TO BURN EVERY MEMORY
I WILL REMIND MYSELF THAT YOU DON'T NEED ME
I WILL TRY TO DO THE SAME
I WON'T SPARE A SECOND GLANCE TO THE STREETLIGHT
I WON'T EVER BE THIS RAW AGAIN