maybe our happily-ever-after
is that we reconnected after everything
after you hurt me and i scorned you
we came back to each other like
we were one another's boomerangs
finally coming back around after bring thrown away.
(i wish our story ended
a little more like a fairy tale
with us back in each other's arms
proclaiming the other home
but, my love, our lives have never been
that simple
or that sweet,
have they?)

I like to think
That one day
When I strip down after work and
Curl up with a blanket and a book,
It will become habit for you to join me.
Let me lay my head in your lap,
Silent connection while we read,
A moment perfectly still in time and in peace.
I love you. Press against me.

Tell me how my voice sounds like late night summer laughter
And my smile feels like sunlight kissing your skin
Like I used to
In our golden years, years ago
When you smelled like home and comfort and sleep
And I'll sleep in your hoodie to breathe you in deep
Like nothing ever changed.
Your voice sounds like late night summer laughter
And your smile feels like sunlight kissing my skin
Like you used to
In our golden years, years ago.

A silent sort of sadness
Quiet, deadly depression
Weighs me down, anchors me deeper
Dragging me into the dark syrupy ocean
That I created within myself from emotion
And it's surrounding me, drowning me,
Filling my lungs and coating my insides
Too much of it touching my skin to feel it within so I'm
Drowning numb, giving in to sleep
Adding to the secret scar collection I keep
Waiting for the tide to pull me to shore
Or waiting until I can't breathe anymore

I curse my heart and all it stands for
I curse my laugh for rolling on
I curse your eyes for being so blue
I curse myself for falling again for you
Why do you have to make things easy?
Why do you have to make me feel safe?
Why are you so fun to talk to?
Why are you my happy place?