i wish i had loved you better
told you that your hair looked nice
hugged you when you cried
or laughed when your punchlines really stuck

i wish i had loved you better
that i didn’t hurt you out of anger
make you feel less than you were worth
or put you down every chance i got

i wish i had loved you better
read those books you always wanted me to
danced to the songs you played on the stereo
or bought that dress you really wanted to wear

i wish i had loved you better
that i didn’t call your writing silly
delete the words you spent so much time putting together
or convince you that it would amount to nothing

i wish i had loved you better
took compliments about you in stride
begun more conversations with strangers
or looked in the mirror more often

i wish i had loved you better
that i didn’t scar your body with your own hands
starve you and make you cry at the scale
or keep you up at night about your past mistakes

i wish i had loved you better.

Human life is so flawless, yet so formless
Bending it’s way to fit into reality
It can mold itself into
A blonde bombshell model type
Or a chunky kid who loves to play Fortnite
Your dog groomer down the street
Or the mild-mannered barista you weren’t very kind to

It can bubble and warp into
The tallest man in the world
Or a newborn baby in a crib
Your crotchety sweatered grandpa
Or billions of people on the pursuit of happiness

I wonder if the ability to morph
Is humanity’s greatest triumph;
The beautiful power
To continuously change our shape.

it took a long time to realize
that the scars on my skin
were not scarlet letters or warning signs
but red badges of courage
i should wear with pride