maybe he will push me
or blush me
or sweep me
under the rug

yet, from the attic above
i was an echo, a thud
my body just now a weight
but no longer, i could

got a heart that's racing
at the speed of aintree horse
that has fallen at the first hurdle
are you placing a bet or placing a curse?

you can pass around the blame
like it's a game of pass the parcel
you can say it's a hard days work
just to feed the family
because they'd have died of famine
if you weren't telling them all lies

So we got unlaced and rethread
at the end of a sad November’s day
but don’t you worry yourself though sweetheart
I’ll make sure that you get to have your say

who knows why you hurt the truest love
you have ever truly known
when you changed the course of history
forever apart, we will now be sewn

for you I was here all of the time
day or night my love
always with your fingers half interlocked
and folded into mine

I just want someone to read this
and understand my words as they are written
for the one for me will appreciate my intuition
yet still, from a curse of the bible I was left bitten

I have been raided
time and time again
by much weaker men
that stole the best bits of me
to sell them to a market
full of all of their future lovers
and they take my prized knowledge
while they pawn the weight of my words
they sell every spell I wrote
to somebody like it’s their own
they will win over others
using the material of which I am made
and they do it all
as they rip out the pieces
of my brilliant heart

but what they have forgotten
is that what they’ve stolen
will not last them forever
and when they run out
I will still be here
making gold
out of absolutely nothing

can you feel the full extent
of the power that lives deep within me
now you do not have your blood stained hands
constrictively tied around my neck?

The biggest surprise in the end
is that you did not need me
and baby you got cold
in ways I never thought you could be

but I am no longer thinking
now what do we do?
when you don't have me
and I don't have you

You left me in the Forest of Dean
talking to the trees
and there's now a nicer part of me
that nobody ever sees

I never once doubted
that I was going to survive
but I knew it would change me forever
even if I was to make it out alive

Sometimes it can take a broken heart
for a man to see the error of his ways
and now all of the lonely nights
are bleeding into the days

I lost my interest in meeting strangers
beneath the branches in the park
and ever since you left
I've been scared of going out after dark

I do not think you realise
that you hurt somebody's heart
and you aimed for the bull's eye
with a hand crafted poisoned dart

you may have missed the board
but you took the paint of the wall
the damage was done regardless
and now they're shouting the last call

so here we are
just like we always said
you and your Schwarzenegger arms
finally wrapped around my head

my body is unfamiliar
with skin that’s so warm
you don’t have a single imperfection
even without the curtains drawn

you smell ******* fabulous
no literally Tom Ford’s “******* fabulous”
you want me as much as I want you
so it’s impossible to understand why we did abstinence

dropped me at back
in your private plated Audi
we kiss on a heated seat
as we turn the windows cloudy

you knew you had me
when you said “there’s something about you”
if we were a colour
we would both we blue

no watercolour **** about me
if they bottled me they’d sell me in Selfridges
can’t see through me like stained glass
but you might cut yourself on my edges

personality so bright you’ll need your shades on
maybe you were colourblind to my magic
and you will never ever be this cool
how tragic

i can see around us that
the city building rooftops fake heartbreak into our heads
and the lights are just like visions
as we think silently about who we’ve both had in our beds

in a city that’s full of people
on a ordinary winters night
tell me why does it want you to find me
a coincidence, right?

we were once the dust of you arriving in a taxi
that we'd spun into gold
and here we are sat on a bench feeling something weird
when we thought we’d finally gone cold

your eyes were saying what your lips could not
and above where we sat
every single memory of us projected through the skies
while i hide every real thought under my hat

you couldn't break away
entering the subway to bury us underground
i'll shout only something real
regardless of the crowd

so i guess i will divide us only the numbers
that exist purely in your mind
and you can subtract me in the morning
as we begin to viciously unwind

You’d said need to find yourself
where at? the mattress on the floor?
at least you had your own bed
when you had your back against our rear door

You can fill your lungs with smoke and with tar
but hey,
at least nobody’s coming at you
with a discounted guitar

Does committing fraud bring you closer to tee?
if you had never met me I can almost guarantee
you’d be one of the desperate *******
wanting to buy my socks and then worship me

If you want to talk leagues
then you know where I’m placed
much, much higher
than a balding **** who continues to age

I wrap myself in gold
with everything that I do
I really look after myself
and you know that is true

You forget what it’s like
to taste the real me on your lips
not the last me that you had
but the one that liked your little man ****

why does it bother you
that i can hear your thoughts so loud
like you're still in the room
you hate that i can read you
like a book i've read over and over
because the truth is i have
over and over again
thousands of little times
i watched every thought
pass through your brain
i've counted your heartbeats
i thought about what it would mean
to ever hear it stop
it was enough to make my heart dance
and it danced with a fear of not having
your heart to dance with
many times, i closed my eyes
and i imagined our final moments
my three remaining hairs were grey
you had none
but we made it to old
and i made peace with the fear of dying
because we were enough to carry us over
and wherever we were going
it didn't matter
you held my hand
and you told me "forever"
and i would have been ready.

when the excitement is over
like at the end of a night
when the hard stuff really hits you
and you're faking it out of spite

are you sobering up
to what it means to belong to someone else?
does the feeling in your stomach
remind you that something isn't quite right?

when your right there and bed-less
and you have time to reflect
please just admit it to yourself
is he hard to digest?

I fell from the clouds
whilst you watched from the floor
and you know what’s funny?
I don't even recognise the person that you are anymore

I'm sure even Betty and the other stars in the sky
can see that you lost your heart in the night
so I will ask you this again -
can you really blame me for not putting up a fight?

It wasn't like we sat up 'til three
drinking cheap sugar gin
was it always lies
that you had dripping from your chin?

It wasn't like
you screamed for me in the night
perhaps it was me
that gave you the fright?

It wasn't like
my tired body was always yours
I always lay wide awake
whilst you sat behind the doors

bipolar is looking through the lens
of a Kodak
and seeing only black and white
or the most vibrant colour

depression is the friend
that doesn't call you
to tell you they are coming over

depression is the friend
that tells you to have another drink
when you can barely stand

I am the sad boy
with shadows beneath my brows
and tears on my chin

I am the sad boy
that was hotter when he was thin

I am the sad boy
who could love a thousand times
but never quite enough
to save his own life

I am the sad boy
who wishes he were dead
with those nasty little voices
calling in his head

you say
that I have been careless with this love
drifting towards beaches  
towards the sand

but though a tear
taps the basic fabric
I continue to see
the sea in your eyes

do you miss me
alone in your head?
or do you only miss me
alone in your bed?

do you feel me
in the dead of the night?
or does it only hurt you
when you turn on the light?

do you wonder
where I have gone?
or haven't you realised yet
where you went wrong

take me to the further
down a bottomless pit
to find all the truths
that you cannot admit

or hang me high
above all the lies
then bury my body
where the lonely heart dies

somebody once told me
they want old me back
but i'm too afraid to say
they can't have the old me back

somebody once told me
that something was missing
and i told them
to keep reminiscing

the cold
covers up our eyes
now in winter coats
we've forgotten all the lies
and months of
severed ties
means that everything
has died

Tracing fingers
obliged to stroke a map
float across a pond
and dance with just a tap
lands of promise
and secrets yet to see
take us to the places
that they said I'd never see

clouds of chamomile
and locks of lion's mane
sleeping in silence
with his biblical name
his lips as soft as snowflakes
he's my night-time in forever
he asks me when i'm waking
never, ever, ever

There's a tale of a child
born into the snow
to two months prior
of January's glow
firstly honored by
only his Grandfather's name
tainted by his last
and his Father's game
A hidden tear falls
from a tree in November
but lands so quickly
that he can barely remember

you know that
when we are folded
well into the night
your arms
and your body
are like the warmth of a summer
long overdue
but after a lifetime of winter
i did not know
that even in the winter
the sun
was here all along

On December 25th
there's a silence in your head
Memories of me distant
and by summer will be dead

You will see my face in lights
that dangle in the street
But the winter sings a lone song
with the snow around your feet

The scent of Christmas wakens
every fibre of your being
And I'll be the long forgotten gift
that you will not be seeing