I feel it beginning again
Like some sort of torch being lit for the first time
In a long time
Like that song you used to love, rediscovered
I found blue eyes again,
And with them I found that sort of hope
That invades your mind
I keep finding you in the corners,
That sort of beauty that too often takes
A lifetime of breaths to explain
You are taking root in my heart,
And I am scared again.
Because I am asking you to be the light
That hits my clear prism
To create something more incredible than
Either of us could have achieved on our own

Why do I even bother listening to the music.
Why do I even bother finding the words.
Why should I ever try, given that everything I do ends in failure.
I will never be him. I will never be like him.
And I cannot be him for you.
I know that I am not passionate,
I am not exciting,
I am in fact very plain.
And it doesn't matter that being plain would mean stability.
It doesn't matter that all he leaves in his wake are ashes.
Why does it ever matter, if all the flowers I have ever planted are fated to die.
Tell me, give me a reason why I should care.
I am mired in my mediocrity, stuck with myself.
I used to think I was lost somehow,
That no,
No there is a place for me out there.
I take that back, I thought there must be a place for me.
Well I guess that I was wrong.
Everyone keeps telling me what I deserve,
But I can't help but think that they are lying.
So I am left to my aches and my longings.
Left to watch my garden never grow.

Twilight laughter from two children
Jumping on a trampoline, kissing because
That's what they were taught to do
And he grabs her hand and hushes her
Twilight kisses into the house,
Up the stairs with the door
Closed behind them
And she has a shy smile while
He can't stop looking at the floor
But these twilight children make sure they are
Quiet, mimicking their parents because
His father is sleeping downstairs
So they kiss off their clothing,
Pretending they don't want their
Twilight innocence, eager to
Experience something new, telling themselves
They are all grown up
But they are wrong because
When she goes out to dinner she still
Begs for dessert, and he
Refuses to sleep without a light on, awaken by
Nightmares of the future

But the twilight laughter is stolen and replaced with
Midnight panting in a hurry to
Grow up, giving up innocent youth
In an attempt to love, and that is one exchange
You can never reverse, and that is
A mistake we're all guilty of

I miss my twilight laughter

Rings of fire instilled around me
Linking together to create my Olympic Death
It must be a thousand degrees where I am
I've never seen so much smoke without my breath

If I had a cigarette, I'd light it on my hand
To emphasize the heat
I'd take a stroll, with a smoke, through the flames
Walking through hell in my bare feet

far away, i walk this road
catching daisies 'tween my toes
far away, the one that knows
quiet keeper of my soul
all night long i felt your hold
around my neck, you shine like gold
if the sun is ever
to lack in luster
or there comes a time when
the moon cant quite muster
that spiritual pull
in my heart of all homes
you always will

Smoke filled my lungs
As we sat on the porch
Swinging back and forth
In silence, neither of us daring
To break the silence
That hung between us like a curtain
Because if one of us spoke
Reality would come rushing back
And we would be reminded that
Life is pain
With every passing moment
Bringing us closer to our
Death
And though this seemed eternal
Our night together
Was doomed to die

lost in a strange world
  only sense we can find
Is in peering through the keyholes
Of locked doors
we bang our fists
and spread the spark
hoping its sent down wind
setting smoke to the answers within
were drawnto the fire
like moths to a flame
Unwilling to be tamed
by the safety belt of the world
smoke seeps from the lock
and we inhale deep
ravenous for
the taste of something
real
the burn we feel
goes undetected
among the drowning men
In this shallow pool
Of lukewarm genuinity
and over-chlorinated sincerity
but we breath the fumes in
with a whole new strength
we break down the door
unleash the deamons
begging for more
than this
unless
we become one
With the fears,
we become none
so we rise with the deamons
and we rise up
above the conscience
dont give a ****
because we never could fit
Within the boundaries
Of a newborn dying man
these unatainable boundaries
never could never will never can

I saw a boy in maroon pants singing himself hymns

The boy became air and hummed tunes to each daisy

They danced on fathers back, carried away from the grass

The grass not cut since last time the lighthouse illuminated

Light for each flower that rolled fire down the hills

Sixteen cuts and not a drop of blood to prove

Just how strong the neck of a daisy can be.