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Subtlety was not his strong suit
So he strutted naked into battle...

We mourned him for a day or two,
Until the news gave us something less difficult to process.
With voices crowding and noise you may sit alone
allow the stillness to creep in through the halls and corridors of an almost never present awareness.

Here there is little more to consider
Feel time
Perceive space...
but know nothing,
only to find that this is the fullness of every man.
A stream and pool, a gentle rain,
The smell of soaking wooded dirt
The feel of slowly cooling air in misty Summer as the gravel crunches beneath the weight of all the hopes and dreams of right now.
A distant call to wonder, a closer call to wander and a hill that hides a long walk back before the night claims victory
Mossy ponds, trails crossing trails and barbed wire blockades that shield from neighborly attack
The low call of bullfrogs and the bickering of birds, all dazzeling and swirling into a great sky of lightly dripping treetops

This beautful force of green and brown and rust and blue and quiet stillness and nature's obedience is everything that will ever matter as far as anyone can tell.
I spent my childhood summers in Warsaw Missouri climbing hills and hopping fences. It was lonely and tedious at the time... It was also true adventure and all I ever wanted to do.
So set to say string up and sway
Surrender, sweet surrender
Tripping, timid teasing in it
Tender, oh so tender
For first forgetting flicker fretting
Forever neverender
Beauty masks her
Lately ask her, she won't notice if you do

Lust it thrills her
Never fills her, sowed the flesh and felt it too

Life would clothe her
Welcome over, she can't tell so nothing's new

Death it hides her
Light inside her, hint at cracking flashing through

Hope has wrecked her
Write the letters, she may read a line or two

This song is to her
I never knew her but I loved her after you
Sometimes we just want a response, sometimes it doesn't matter
i drew her as i knew her, smiling in the hall
she found me lightly lounging, we flirted through the fall
we danced and laughed and sang and crashed before and after all

i Sought her at an alter, with tears at freedom's call
she teased my ease, oh gentle please, our larger started small
her hands in mine our knees entwined, and sheets against the wall

I hold her getting older, and savor memories
she thinly cleansed me, ever in me hidden by the trees
we lie, and die, and wake alive, rustled in the leaves

I see her as i need her, so many years between
She fell to me a melody, we sauntered off to dream
Raise, and laze, and winter grey till all that's left is we
sentimentality
Ashamed ashamed, strayed, lost and afraid
Afraid of the stares and the look on my face, the sound of my voice and the shape of my frame

There was no name to call out, no one to turn to, no future to hope in, all bridges were burned through

Ashamed, in shame, shame was my prison
All I had was myself and the sinking suspicion
that I could never be enough /my future was written…

naked, afraid, exposed and alone… alone… so weak and alone
And then in the pit, in the dark, crying out,
A voice like a blanket covered my doubts
And for a brief second I could see through the clout --

A me without blemishes, apart from rejection,
as if nothing had wilted my frail fine perfection,
as children and home and soothing all comfort…
and then sinking back in, did I even belong here?

Don’t I deserve the shame, oh shame, ashamed and unworthy
So I ran to an alter and threw my heart to mercy,
I was weeping, no wailing for freedom from hurting

But I couldn’t go back to a self with no savior,
no salve to soothe burdens or soften my anger

Then LIGHT, then form, then heart bursting rapture,
"No shame, no shame," you bellowed in laughter
And you came, you were love, it was you chasing… after...after… me?

Racked with guilt for the waste and the dirt on my skin,
you embraced me, unlocked me, invited me in

Calling life from death your words fashioned a new me,
crystal, and jasper, light dancing right through me …
No shame for my children, unashamed in my eyes
[--- twirling and buzzing unashamed but why…]

what gain is there where I had been?
What trade could fair my sorrowed sin –
more than this world, its passions and pleasure,
you lifted me to the truest of treasures

And now with the key to free dark hearts from prison
I rush back to Canaan and to find that which is hidden…
Where ear has not heard and eye has not glanced,
You shine light near the broken to give them a chance

And I, with your eyes, now see my true worth,
to sing of our lovesong renewing the Earth

Now stares cannot stop me, or whispers faze,
I am one who has captured heaven’s gaze

I invite all from shame out from Cain and the curse,
to be washed by the sight of he who loved first

We are his prizes, his treasure, and frame,
oh how he loves the shamed, lost and afraid
For a friend.
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