Ashamed ashamed, strayed, lost and afraid
Afraid of the stares and the look on my face, the sound of my voice and the shape of my frame

There was no name to call out, no one to turn to, no future to hope in, all bridges were burned through

Ashamed, in shame, shame was my prison
All I had was myself and the sinking suspicion
that I could never be enough /my future was written…

naked, afraid, exposed and alone… alone… so weak and alone
And then in the pit, in the dark, crying out,
A voice like a blanket covered my doubts
And for a brief second I could see through the clout --

A me without blemishes, apart from rejection,
as if nothing had wilted my frail fine perfection,
as children and home and soothing all comfort…
and then sinking back in, did I even belong here?

Don’t I deserve the shame, oh shame, ashamed and unworthy
So I ran to an alter and threw my heart to mercy,
I was weeping, no wailing for freedom from hurting

But I couldn’t go back to a self with no savior,
no salve to soothe burdens or soften my anger

Then LIGHT, then form, then heart bursting rapture,
"No shame, no shame," you bellowed in laughter
And you came, you were love, it was you chasing… after...after… me?

Racked with guilt for the waste and the dirt on my skin,
you embraced me, unlocked me, invited me in

Calling life from death your words fashioned a new me,
crystal, and jasper, light dancing right through me …
No shame for my children, unashamed in my eyes
[--- twirling and buzzing unashamed but why…]

what gain is there where I had been?
What trade could fair my sorrowed sin –
more than this world, its passions and pleasure,
you lifted me to the truest of treasures

And now with the key to free dark hearts from prison
I rush back to Canaan and to find that which is hidden…
Where ear has not heard and eye has not glanced,
You shine light near the broken to give them a chance

And I, with your eyes, now see my true worth,
to sing of our lovesong renewing the Earth

Now stares cannot stop me, or whispers faze,
I am one who has captured heaven’s gaze

I invite all from shame out from Cain and the curse,
to be washed by the sight of he who loved first

We are his prizes, his treasure, and frame,
oh how he loves the shamed, lost and afraid

who weaves the steer
who knows and goes who lesser fears

we want, we war we heretofore
we hope and hold and lastly more

who weeps, who wails who undertails
who rises full then falters hail

we feign and fold we winter old
we wait and whisper fools for gold

Who hears, who sees? not you, not me
we wake and wander here to sea

At first, at first, far better than worse
You are my companions
at twilights burst, contract, converse...
--the universe expanded

I've only quoted misquotations
Overstated consternations
We are each a cosmic notion
We are breached on beached like oceans
We are constant, never settled
Ever honest, oddly nestled
Curled in fetal fraught positions
Fatal fallen thought magicians

And yet we friends will fail and falter
Hail the rails or tread like water
Rising up from fashions forming
Passioned weathered sails a'storming
Stayed we gather boards and anchor
Shelter ores we share the danger
So on and on till last we shore
Fond in battle, forged in war
Forced to vision future wonder
--What are we expanding under

To each one sharing each is golden
Treasure daring, bond and bolden
Older still and wiser daring
Tied and spilled and error fairing
Pulled together stay the stronger
Stranger in and lost no longer
But long for hope and bow unbent
And sail eternal with us, with friends
and ending onward daylight bursts
--We are each a universe

Who pushes and prods
Who spares the rods
Who dreamed up the ageless
That created the gods

Who tempted at first
Who blessed and then cursed
Who prayed to the ageless
Turning better to worse

Who tried but tied last
Who never looked back
Who shattered the ageless
Then fell through the cracks

Who can't but still hopes
Who narrowed the scope
Who questioned the ageless
Till dreaming awoke

Who knows what to do
Who'll follow this through
Who called to the ageless...
The ageless calls you

i found a little little lot
a little lofty lingered thought
a little more a little shot
a little less if less is not

i guess a little little more
could hope the little lessens for
and learned a lighter little score

I might get little in return
but little gained is little earned

a little better
a little less
a little
little
little
mess

I just wanna tell simple love stories and play a guitar
I gotta sow up the future to suture the scars

It's not obvious, at least not to us
It's not expected either, we never learned to sing or play guitars, or even attempt to be simple... and that's how the future really happens. That's how the skin grows rough to cover the wound.

I stopped reading dostoyevsky today
the blackness of hope
clapping for the crowd's sake
I just can't seperate the world that may be
from the world that can't be

I think I'll try some lighter subjects
perhaps some sci-fi or maybe short stories
the lump in my soul is probably benign
I'll have my shrink check it out
then again, maybe that's just the multi-verse
escaping through barely breathable cracks
(where did i put that key again?)

I tried to sleep it off last night
I woke in the wrong century
who knows what will happen in the morning
what steps lead to emergence
from the world that is