I can’t speak.
I’m not mute, but I can’t seem to let the words out.
My hands are shaking at the thought of speaking.

Tears are falling from my eyes.
I can’t breathe.
My heart is palpitating at an enormous rate.
Thoughts run wild in my mind.

Then it stops.
A hand reaches out towards me.
I can’t help but stretch my hand towards it.
And for a moment, I felt safe.
Safe in those hands that were holding me.

But then they left.
They got tired of holding me like a child.
I was a helpless child on the inside.
Never had love, nor affection.

I thought I was safe,
But I was wrong.
I was left even more broken.
I was trapped in a tragedy.

​
The nightmare woke me up.
I can’t breathe, I can’t move.
I’m terrified of what I just experienced.
Was it real or was it not?

Why was I being tortured in my sleep?
Who was the villain in my dream?
It was myself.
I was my own villain.

I tortured myself, I bullied myself.
Self-Hate, Self-Doubt.
It was my own mind.
I was chased endlessly with the hate.
The hate coming out of my own mouth.