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 Nov 2013 Molly
Showman
I've named him Peter or Paul
I can't pick
Purposefully picking pigeon names is preposterous
It's perfectly possible though
He's my pal
Peter or Paul
We met at the Pantheon
He prattled, pranced
Up toward my position
I wanted to pet my pigeon Peter or Paul
Put him in my pristine apartment
Perhaps Patrick?
 Oct 2013 Molly
softcomponent
objectively speaking*

I was dead from the moment she heaved me from the womb.

in the same way, objectively speaking

I was alive from the moment they patted the dirt above my coffin and my heart went quiet in meditative bliss for the big sleep.
everything under the sun
 Oct 2013 Molly
softcomponent
for the beautiful

hurt

for the shining

shattered

*glass
I am not ungrateful --- I am not without thanks
 Oct 2013 Molly
softcomponent
it all rings through me like tinnitus.
this is why I don't come home. every
where else hosts a myriad of other w
orlds to become intermingled with - p
laces to lead myself away from the so
ur crystal of my mind. now it's dim a
nd no one expresses love to me. I am a
lone, gazing at the facebook dash like
an approval ***** - unaccepted. loiter
ing around in other peoples lives and th
ey don't really want me. i don't want m
e either. i become afraid to bring it up -
that i enter my room and see your smile
slice through the darkness in recognition
  
                                                                ­                                 that

these are the same sheets we lay on toget
her. i begin to contemplate your words i
have fallen out of love with you and i de
serve it. i still consider suicide an option as
i think of everything you did to dice my so
ul into smaller portions you could swallow,
digest, and **** out like they all meant noth
ing. i gave you everything, i gave you every
inch of my darkness on a white fine dine ch
ina plate and it was because you were more
than my lover - you were my best friend an
d significant other. i shared it all with you - t
urned over every single rock and illuminated
every nook and cranny only to understand th
e shattering honesty of love. *you hold my ver
y essence to my temple like a pistol and strip e
very inch of me bare but it's only because i let y
ou and it's only because i deserve it and every w
ord you uttered makes me gaze in the mirror wi
th disgust and the thought that silence lies where
silence rides and it's where the *ride is over.
everything you said leaves me empty. if the one who was closest to me says, 'you were the only thing standing between me and happiness'
i see myself and think
'you are the only thing standing between me and happiness.'

i want to die. i hate myself as much as you hate me.

'get over it.'

'i'm trying.'

'try harder?'

*          *           *
 Oct 2013 Molly
softcomponent
per
 Oct 2013 Molly
softcomponent
per
Today is October 5th. Today is the day we repeat ourselves a year ago

               repeat ourselves a year ago  
      

              repeat ourselves  
                  
                                  ­    a year ago

    2010 Anno Domini

He was in a classroom gazing at the
Pacific range and mattering the
Earth
was greater than

           Earth Science  Science  Objectivist study of the female genitalia

verbal coitus interuptus

ah who gives a rose?
Who gives a label?
Who gives?

Because I still don't get it.

Today is October 5th.

    Today is the day

                    we repeat ourselves a year ago repeat ourselves a year ago repeat ourselves a year agoing going















                                      ­                         gone













                              .      


                                         .

  

                                                            .
 Oct 2013 Molly
softcomponent
it's so speakless, you lucky *******.
I couldn't tell you half my terrors
half my bliss
half my stupid ghastly lovely other ****.
 Oct 2013 Molly
softcomponent
met her in the net
of wage-slave- airy.
she was an innocent
to death; a cloud
pedestrian waiting
at the back of the
line (because it wont
be her turn for another 30
years).

I handed her

a cigarette and she asked
me what I was looking at.

"The steet," I said, vocal
jut between glaciers of
phlegm,

"cobblestone
is so magnificent at
4 AM."
 Oct 2013 Molly
JJ Hutton
Ah ah ah. Not yet.
Popcorn ceiling instead.
Eve curls up. She's got
tiny ankles. And he,
whoever he may be tonight,
does what they always do.
He traces that funny, bony
sphere. He apologizes.
Tells her it's because
she's so beautiful.
His forwardness is
a compliment.
She reminds him of
this character from a Fitzgerald
novel -- not an obvious
one, of course.
She says wow or oh yeah? or
you're just being sweet.
She asks him if he smokes.
He's trying to quit.
Yeah, I have some in
my hoodie pocket there.
She usually removes the dress here.
Just out of his reach.
Taking more time than necessary.
Bent over, digging through the pocket,
she listens for the heavy exhale.
She walks to the bathroom.
Light on.
Door open.
He gives it a moment.
His shirt is off now.
His elbow is on the door frame.
Eve, you know you're not inhaling right?
And here, she let's him teach her how,
as she did with the last one.
By the end of the cigarette,
she's french inhaling.
Had a good coach.
She runs water over
the tip to put it out and tosses it
in the trashcan.
Of course he brings his body against
hers.
He starts with a shoulder massage.
You can go lower.
He skips the bra.
He runs his fingers
just under the lace waistband.
Asking permission.
Are you going to **** me or what?

Jay wants to say he loves her
when he sees her trying to smoke.
He's not sure if he does yet,
but he hasn't said it in so long.
She's got these small ankles.
Her abs are uneven.
There's a mole on her hipbone.
No, no it's just like breathing.
Just breathe for me. Without smoking.
The lungs, right? Take the smoke
into your lungs.
Oh my gawd. Ha ha ha. She coughs.
Jay rubs her shoulders.
She smells of tobacco and coconut-based lotion.
And he goes lower.
And he doesn't want to be too forward.
But she says **** so softly it makes
his hands go mad.

He's shaky. Panting. At the end of it all.
They made love atop the comforter.
Eve burns. Calls it afterglow.
She feels like she's absorbed all
the room's energy.
She puts herself to the edge
of the bed to cool.
You're so soft, she says.
Surprised, genuinely. He made love
so slow. Maybe a little too much eye
contact. He lifts up the blankets,
and asks her to crawl underneath.

She didn't say his name during ***.
And Jay's afraid he said hers too much.
She bit him. Too dramatic for his taste.
And at the end, he feels cold,
as if all the love inside him
has been deposited.
She tells him he is soft.
Probably the loose skin, he says.
Used to be a fat guy. Well, fatter.
When she doesn't respond,
he lifts up the comforter;
crawls underneath.
No thanks, I'm on fire, she says.
He decided not to say I love you.
But he reaches for her.
She faces him.

Patience. You're alright, Jay.
 Oct 2013 Molly
softcomponent
tell me you believe in ghosts s
o i know who to believe / when
the time comes to ****** / all o
ver the ghost of your face / i pr
omise i won't forget to lie / and t
ell you that i love you / i cann
ot love you / because it is typical
to fear love when the chest is ope
n / the treasure found / and you l
ie dying with your heart still beati
ng in the October nightlife / believe
me when i tell you i wanted nothin
g / but

guts
 Oct 2013 Molly
softcomponent
next to the apple tree lay a stool- -
"climb to the top branch and
you'll see what it feels like
when the God's come
around to blow
you down."

she knew I was in love.
she knew I wasn't
much

face painted
like the uppity winds
of winter

our cheeks touched

my cheek now wears her
make-up

(fake blush)
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