The gums
inside
of my
mouth
are swelling
like
a red
balloon,

I've lost
control
over my
body.

A knock at my door, I answered it,
Mom stood in the doorway,
and I was ready for anything,
"Wanna go to Del Sir?' I replied, "Yes."
We partook of flour tortilla tacos,
sweet tea that was far too sweet,
along with a rousing conversation
completing the wonderful evening,
I'm glad I have someone in my life
that I can follow on the drop of a hat,
no matter what,
and not be lead astray.
Whatever my plans were that night,
I gladly forgot them to spend time with
someone I care about more than
anyone else in the whole world.

I'm wearing a
mask
to hide my
face
from other people's
eyes
so they don't
see
all the blood
stains.

Don't show her
the person you
used to be
or the person you
want to be,
just show her
who you are
right now,
and if she's
right for you
her love
will turn coal
into diamonds.

You heard me
when everyone else
stopped listening.
You thought of me
when everyone else
forgot about me.
You put up with me
when everyone else
gave up on me.
You cried with me
when I had no one else
in the entire world.
I'll never find another person
like you.
Please know I send my love.
I'll always remember you.
Sincerely,
Aaron.

I wanted to
buy
you a Christmas
gift,
but you wouldn't
tell
me what you
liked
so I wrote
this
poem for you
instead.

I know it's
only been a
week
since you last
saw me,
but it feels like
an eternity.

Today you’re simple
advice
helped me to
fix
a problem that
was
bothering me so
much
you came in
handy.

If I could meet myself 20 years from now,
hopefully, I'd say:
"Everything is going to be ok."
and
"Don't worry so much."

I wanted to
start
an argument with
her,
but I instead
bit
down on my
tongue  
quarreling isn’t worth
it.

I slacked off all day
so tomorrow I’ll work my
fingers to the bone.

Going to a job interview
and I'm nervous.
I need this job,
and I need to keep it
this time.
I hope the manager doesn't
see through me,
and figure out
my last job
only lasted
two weeks.

Afterward, it all seemed
ok,
but I hope
this time
I can get
my
act together.

Doctor don't
bother
diagnosing me
because I already
know
that I've caught
an acute case
of lovesickness
for a girl
who can't
be mine,
and the only
medicine
that'll cure me
is heartbreak.

I sat down to dinner
and paid for a meal
with money I'd earned
working at Wendy's.

I drank ice-cold sweet
tea,
sipped savory cream
soup,
ate mouth-watering
lasagna,
and nibbled on fruity
cheesecake.

It was a nice meal,
then why did I have
such remorse when
the check came?

I enjoyed myself,
but I couldn't help
feeling like I wasted
my hard earned money.

I once knew a boy
with bright red hair.
He was my best friend.
We spent hours together
talking, laughing, and
walking around town.
Until one day
he confessed
to being in love
with my sister.
We didn't hang out
after that,
I'm sad to say.
Now I wonder
why I grew so cold
to someone, I cared about
very much.

I've missed so much
of your life,
that come the springtime
I'll take off work,
fly across the country,
and be there
in person
to bear witness
and celebrate
your wedding day,

believe me
I'll be there
on your
most important day,

that's my new year's
resolution.

I want to meet
another person
who I can
stay up all night with
talking about our
dreams.
When it happened
the first time
I couldn't believe it
and I pleaded with God
to not let this twilight
end.
Ain't it how
luck works,
that when I'd
given up searching
I finally found
her.
Looking back
at this girl
I'm ashamed
to say that I
ended up breaking her
heart.
No one warns you
that when
you fall in love
you must care for
someone more than
yourself.
I regret hurting her,
but I don't regret
that night,
because it showed me
that true love
exists.

I did something
selfish
today.
I made my grandma
buy me a 20$ book,
that I didn't need,
simply because
I wanted it.
She'd already
bought me
an expensive lunch,
and the only reason
we were in
the bookstore
was to find a gift
for someone else;
instead,
I made her
buy one for me.
I felt alarmed
at the cash register,
I knew I should of
left the book on the shelf,
that this trip shouldn't be about
me,
but
I did it anyway.
It's true
we all want things,
but sometimes
getting more than
we need,
turns people
into tools
for our use.

I can't
carry
the weight
of
all the
blame
upon my
shoulders,
it was
both
of our
mistake,
so you've
also
got to
bare
it with
me.

A handshake
is never just
a handshake
between men
it's the true
sign of respect
looking another
man in the eye
and shaking his
hand lets him
know that you
mean business
that you work
hard everyday
of your life
to take care
of yourself
and others,

that's what
a handshake
means.

I promised myself
after I left work
I'd go home
and take a nap.

That's what I got,
but when I woke up
I felt like I missed my time
and that the moment was gone
like I'd taken all that living
and flushed it down the drain,
if only I could get it back
I'd use this time.

Why I am a stranger to self-love,
and all too familiar with self-hate;
can't I take care of myself
every once in a while?

I miss the old days
back when it was just
Mom, Maryann, and I,
we were three against the world.
Together nothing could separate us,
not hunger, fear, or divorce.
We embarked on an adventure,
and most said we'd never last.
But we made a home
in a trailer in the middle of nowhere,
and we thought it quite shabby,
looking back it was paradise,
I'd give anything for another day,
with just three of us again.
Ain't that the way it goes,
you don't see the good old days,
until they're already gone,
and you can't get them back.
The memories keep me warm at night,
as I embark on a new adventure,
but this time I must go alone,
will I make it back home?

She wrote to me and
said,
"I love the man you've
become."
Now I feel proud of
myself.

Sometimes people can
get into irritable moods
where no matter what
you say
or do
there's no changing
how they react
at that moment,

so I take it
as my cue
to walk away
and try them
again later.

you smiled at
me
like you were
happy
to see me
again,
all I can
think
is you’ve never
looked
at me like
that.

For now, I'm
taking
all the time
required
to process through
my
emotions, so that
when
I'm ready I
then
start the healing
process.

Instead of gaslighting
me
you're the first
person
to validate my
emotions
in a long
time.

In a
world
filled with
people
most of
them
are nothing
more
than just
strangers,

so when
you
do find
connection
with a  
person
forge it
like
pieces of
iron.

Never get so busy that
you don't have time
to take a nap.
Adjust your schedule,
pick a time,
and take a break;
God knows you deserve it.

My boss caught
me
playing on my
smartphone
at work and
didn't
chastise for it,
because
she's cool like
that.

Sometimes when I feel low,
I'll pick out something
I've done wrong, and
obsess over it.
I won't let myself go,
I'll  keep going back
to that moment I messed up,
until it's one in the morning,
and my eyes are too tired to
cry.

I broke the
hose
that we use
to
spray the sidewalk
clean
it was an
accident,
but I feel
guilty.

We had an
argument
with each other
just
last Friday afternoon,
over
the weekend we
were
separated, I calmed
down,
showing back up
this
Monday morning, he'd
forgotten
all about our
quarrel,
I'd forgiven him
of
his reproach, and
time
healed both our
wounds.

I don't mind
if
people initially reject
me,
instead, I'm regretful
whenever
I shy away
from
taking the opportunity
to
initiate a conversation
with
that person in
time.

Why'd you
walk out
that door,
fly across
the sea,
and stay away
for so long,
without giving me
so much as
a kiss goodbye?

I've spent
most of
my life
trying to
prove I
don't need
a parental
figure around.

Now I
realize that
a kid
needs someone
to show
them how
to really
grow up.

So when
they leave
the nest
they'll be
ready for
what life
has ahead
of them.

Love your
children as
much as
you can,
then maybe
their live's
won't be
as painful.

Last night you slept
with
your back to me,
but
I was glad you
stayed;
you always stay and
that's
why I still love
you.

I've been up
the last few nights,
thinking about
all I had,
and why I left it
behind;
still if I
had known
I wasn't
taking you
with me
I'd of stayed.

I messaged three
people
to ask about
going
to lunch with
me
they all said,
"no."

I know they
didn't
mean to reject
me
but it still
hurts.

I've had the same sticky note on my laptop
with a list of things to do for weeks now.
I don't know if I'll ever get around
to crossing things off my list.
I know I should,
but part of me is scared.
What if it turns out to be harder than I thought
and I don't know what to do?
I should stop worrying and start doing things,
but it feels like it's impossible.
Like my head is being shoved under water
and I can't breathe.
Every day the left side of my brain asks,
"Are going to do something today?"
and the right brain responds,
"No, definitely not."

you'll always
be
a part
of
what makes
me
who I
am.

I have to always
catch
myself nightly from
falling
off the edge
of my anxiety

sometimes I end up
hitting
the ground,

and that's when
I wish spiderman
would come swinging
on his web
to save me.

I let him
lie
on top of
me,
because I like
the
way his heart
beats
when it's over
mine.

The way
you call me
to your side
whenever
you need
help,
makes me
feel more
important
than I've
ever felt
before.

It's a fact of life
that if miserable people
wouldn't focus
on being miserable
life wouldn't seem so
unbearable.
Take deep breathes,
calm down,
and remember this too shall pass.

I’ve made a
lot
of mistakes, but
you’re
not one of
them.

I can feel
him
drifting away from
me,
and the only
thing
that I can
do
is let him
go.

C’mon Mom
go take me shopping
for an Easter dress,
because come
resurrection day,
I’m coming out as
trans,
and I only
trust you
to teach me how
to get dolled up
for church
like a proper
lady.

To the poor
waitress
who I refused
to
tip today during
lunch,

if I'd remembered
that
you work for
pennies
on the dollar,
I
wouldn't have stiffed
you;

forgive me being
stingy.