youre drifiting
through a timeline in space, dotting the lines with your love for me, for him, for them, for her.
youre drifiting
leaving remnants of your lovers fingerprints within you
youre drifting,
just promise me you wont leave me stranded in the stars

she only writes when you ask her to.
thats how i know the ink she bleeds is for you.
i cant help but think about her words in a longing way
i wish i could write about you the way she does
maybe her love for you is somehow stronger than mine
who knows
she always confused me anyway

i wish to live forever
to live in the damp earth  
to live within the hearts of the ones i love
to live within his head.
yet i will only live for a small while,
just for a small while

i want to be ripped to pieces
shredded to oblivion
by your love.
love me dangerously,
slash my lungs
poke out my eyes
break my bones.
love me poisonously.

empty thoughts, filled with empty words
floating around the abyss that is my head
yet they all make sense to me,
why not anyone else

words get stuck in my throat
like fire waiting to be splashed out
this fire that roars within me
seeps out into my words, puts a sour hit on the tip of my tongue
this fire that rages within me
that sadly wont go out

i stand in the bustling enviroment.
surrounded by people whoes stroies ive never heard,
never will hear.
rolling wheels and harsh voices fill the filtered air.
hushing mothers, and their crying children.
i stand in an airport, surrounded by crowds ive never known.
wishing to hear a simple story, a little tale.
to know the place i stand

i long to feel you.
not sexually, but i long to feel your chest rise and fall aganist my back
i long to feel your eyes captivate mine
i long to feel your hands grasp mine
i long for you in the most innocent of ways
i long for the late night talks
and the drowsy kisses
i long for the way you say my name in the morning
i long for you, the way you long for me.

you.
are.
enough.

my head is pounding sorrowful rythems in the back of my head.
my heart is knocking against my ribs.
my blood is clotting in my veins.
i can feel myself dying.
but ill keep it inside

we used to fight over who loved the other more,
i guess theres one fight i did win.

the blade sat,
buried in her moon white skin.
rivers ran, gushing their flow down the cracks and imperfections in her arms.
she sat,
the blade buried into her and with a sigh she said
"ill see you soon my love"

im not gonna do what you think im gonna do.
im not gonna say what you think im gonna say.
im not gonna yell like you think im gonna yell.
im gonna stay,
and say to you
ill always love you

i hope to one day spend the cold and empty nights in the fullness of your arms.
i hope to look you in the eyes and declare my undying love to you.
i hope to one day shift through the sands of time letting you look at every individual grain.
i hope to love you until the everdying enternity.
i hope to be yours forever.

i fall apart.
into tear soaked pieces on the bathroom floor.
cold and trembling.
i fall apart.
in your arms.
warm and safe.
but either way i fall apart

you already know my words before i speak.
you already know my heart feels weak without you.
you already know me.
just by looking me in the eye.
and it’s beautiful

i love you.
and all your broken parts,
all your missing pieces.
i love you for you.
so please let me heal you

the feeling i get when i look at you, is so overwhelming i fail to describe it. but in this poem my love, i will try.
just for you.

my dear, youre soft like summer rain.
your heart patters again the cage that is your ribs.
knock knock knocking for the right one to find you and mend your broken pieces.
my darling, youre peaceful like the ocean.
your arms hug every inch of me.
blooming flowers against my moonlit skin.
my love, youre gentle time springs wind.
your voice blows beautifully crafted cords into my ears.
drifting angels voices into my head.
my sweetheart, your comforting like the trees.
your smile brings me home each night.
allowing my heart to jump into the arms of yours.
my love the words i wish i could write to you fail me.
but i promise to one day put them all together.
just for you.

all i know,
your heart is mended with mine.
your dna resides in the bottom of my stomach.
youre mine.
and all i know,
im yours.

as i smell the crystal snow laid in lines across my bathroom counter, i cant help but remember you.
its as if the toxic fumes filling my head are full of your laundry detergent, letting you ever so lightly lay your hand on my shoulder.
telling me youre here, as i hug this straw in my hands. the way i wish i hugged you.

ill stand in the middle of the road and scream your name at passing cars.
ill climb the highest of mountains to find you again.
my soul string belongs to you.
whyd you cut yours.

i don’t know what it is about her..
that strikes so much jealousy within me.
maybe it’s the past, and the deeply regarded feelings you had.
maybe it’s the way she speaks to you like you’re waiting for her.
maybe it’s the way you light up when you talk about her.
maybe it’s the way you go to her for everything, and barely come to me.
theres just something about her that makes me doubt.
and i wish it wasn’t like that, i just dunno what it is about her

i have monsters in my head.
i have spiders in my lungs.
i have blood clots running through my veins.
but darling your voice.
your voice fills my head with singing angels.
you plant flowers in my lungs.
you make my veins run pure gold.
you make me okay.

if only i could hold you while the sky slowly bleeds unto sunrise.
if only i could kiss your forehead as you softly breath into my chest.
if only i could pull you close to me in the early hours of the morning.
if only i could love you the way i want to, the way i need to.
i just wanna love you, because thats all im living for.

i sat, staring blankly into the stars of the unknown.
imagining your arms wrapped around my chest tightly, imprinting my skin with your touch.
trying to feel the remains of your lips pressed against mine as we fall deeper into lethargic slumber.
envisioning your angel sweet voice drifting through the room, only to come back to my ears in a soft and simple i love you.
and so i sit, staring blankly, wishing you were here with me.
but soon my love, soon.

im a lonely star.
stranded in the night sky, surrounded by the dark.
burning out.
is there anybody out there?

i sailed across the seven seas looking for you.
i captured sirens and monsters, hoping to find a part of your heart.
i watched the waves turn my stomach into swirling pits of nothingness, painting the seas green and blue.
i thought you said you loved the ocean..?
i thought you loved me, yet you keep me as a castaway

no matter how much i ponder the thought of forgetting you,
it still reminds me of you.
which makes it quite hard to forget

i feel like im drifting
through the clouds searching for you.
for the heart you laid in you open palm
for the bright eyed smile.
searching, prodding, scratching.
looking.
for the person i so easily fell in love with

theres a road, i always drive past. full of cars, trees and bushes.
the wind always rustles and the trees always shake.
but the part that stands out is a little red and yellow playground.
stained by shoe souls, and childhood memories.
memories of a first kiss, a first fist fight, a first song, a finale hug.
a tiny playground, surrounded by woodchips and empty sonic cups.
lay abandoned, scattered with past memories.

till the days i dont have to feel sad songs in the pit of my stomach.
till the days i can look outside and see the world as something other than withered.
till the days i can breath without the wheeze.
i will continue to tell you im okay,
cause thats all im allowed to be.

i cant keep hanging by your noose.
im tired of not being able to breath.
so go on and give your best to someone else.
they can get the best of you.
give them your all and slowly strangle them too.
im getting tired of starting again, so im done.
i refuse.