i thought it was going to be you.
i promised myself it was going to be you.

now im promising to never speak to you again.

funny how the times change.

Ave Maria rings,

soft at dusk, the sky blushes,

hearts lift with the stars.

i got my blood drawn today
and all i wanted to do was call you.
i hate needles and you’d always talk me through it.

i did it by myself today,
i wonder if you’d be proud of me

i hope you find what i gave you
in someone else.

you’re not hard to love.
you make love feel like fresh pressed coffee atop the window sill.
like the first warm breeze of spring.
you are everything warm in the world encapsulated into one living being.
you are love, in every sense of the word.

you are worth the work.

your silence is agonizing.
i got so used to never hearing from you,
only for it to change in a second.

now you’re gone again.
leaving me right when you had roped me back in.

i wish you’d let me love you,
for old times sake.

would you feel sick if i called you?
would your stomach knot up, turning into twists and turns?

would you tell me to not do that again?
to leave you alone and let you call me when you’re available?

what would you do?
i miss your voice.